Read an Excerpt
Super Goofballs, Book 5: Doomed in Dreamland
Chapter One
To Dream the Impossibly Bad Dream
I don't know about you, but I hate being attacked by hideous pig-dragons.
"Back, pig-dragons, back!" I yelled. More like screamed.
But then I realized that the horrible weirdness I was experiencing was just a very bizarre, very terrifying, very insane nightmare. I guess I should have known that any time you're in your living room, minding your own business, and flaming balls of garbage are getting hacked at you from a bottomless pit of pig-dragons who look suspiciously like your goofball roommates, you can be reasonably sure it's a bad dream.
The only problem was that when I pinched myself and woke up, the nightmare continued. A blazing beach ball whooshed by my head, courtesy of Super Vacation Man, or at least the pig-dragon version of him, and then I noticed a pink, scaly, curlicue tail wrapping itself around my waist and twelve forked tongues—also on fire—snapping and licking about my ankles. Maybe I only thought I was awake.
I pounded on the side of my Amazing Techno Dude Deluxe Multi-Functional Monitor Helmet, but I could still see the horrible visions. I raised the screen and slapped my face again and again, harder and harder, but it apparently had no effect—except throbbing face pain—because a flaming diaper, loaded with plenty of ammo, whizzed by, missing me by 3.2 micrometers. Drat that Impossibly Tough Two-Headed Infant Pig-Dragon! Drat him, I mean them, I mean it! This nightmare—or daymare or whatever it was—was not going away!
Fire-breathing pig-dragon versions of all the Goofballs—Blunder Mutt, Super Vacation Man, Mighty Tighty Whitey, the Terrifyin' Tubesock Lad, SuperSass CuteGirl, the Impossibly Tough Two-Headed Infant (Biff and Smiff), Wonder Boulder, T-Tex3000, and Pooky the Paranormal Parakeet—squealed and squirmed up out of the pit. Next came pig-dragon Granny (the Bodacious Backwards Woman), and Scoodlyboot, who, when not a pig-dragon, is the most beautiful dog in the world. The last pig-dragon to emerge was our neighbor the Invisible Superbad Blue-Fanged Ferret. He was thrashing away on his guitar, providing a loud and bloodcurdling musical sound track that made the whole thing seem like some crazy horror movie. But unfortunately this was no movie.
Super Goofballs, Book 5: Doomed in Dreamland. Copyright © by Peter Hannan. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
