Table of Contents
Chapter 1 Introduction 16
Why I Wrote This Book 17
The Nine Big Concepts in This Book 20
Chapter 2 Training Our Pickers 34
What's a Picker? 35
What Is a Fuckboy, Anyway? 36
Identifying Fuckboys and Players: A Guide 39
Four Traits of the Fuckboy 40
Five Hallmarks of the Player 45
When Fuckboys Become Situationships 49
The Just-Got-Out-of-a-Relationship Situationship 52
The Sour-Patch-Kid Situationship 54
Can You Transform a Situationship into a Relationship? 58
Chapter 3 Making the First Move 72
Who Should Make the First Move? 73
Approaching Someone in Public 74
How to Flirt 77
Sliding into Someone's DMs 77
Zoom Is Your Friend 82
Shooting Your Shot with a Friend 85
Stop Warning Your Crush 86
A Final Note: Your Relationship Won't Care How You Met 87
Chapter 4 The First Date 91
The Biggest Mistake People Make on First Dates 92
Getting the Most Out of a First Date 95
Chapter 5 How to Get Better at Dating 102
Never Stop Learning 103
Remember That Everyone Is Annoying 105
Be Honest About Non-Negotiables 107
Don't Judge People for Having a Long List of Exes 109
Making Sex Timelines Only Wastes Your Time 110
Prioritize the Boundaries You Set over Chemistry You Feel 112
Unleash the Power of Defining the Relationship 113
Know When to Ask Why (And When Not To) 116
Forget What Movies Teach Us About Dating 119
Chapter 6 Navigating Hookup Culture 126
The Most Important Rule Is to Remember What Hookup Culture Really Is 127
Set Expectations and Boundaries ASAP 128
Casual Sex Is Still Sex 131
Have Sex Because You Want to, Not Because of How You Feel About Someone Else 131
Chapter 7 Real Love and Serious Relationships 135
There's No Such Thing as Love at First Sight 136
What Is Real Love? 138
Why Everyone Could Benefit from Couples Therapy 143
How to Interpret Jealousy in Your Relationship, and What You Can Do About It 144
Chapter 8 Moving In with Your Significant Other 153
There Are Only Two Good Reasons to Move In Together 154
These Are Not Good Reasons to Move in with Your Partner 156
Things You Should Do Before You Move in Together 159
Chapter 9 Should I Stay or Should I Go? 163
Knowing When to End a Relationship 164
Healthy Versus Toxic Love 167
The Myth of Wasted Time 170
Chapter 10 Getting Over Them 178
My First Girlfriend: The Whole Story 179
Stop Giving Yourself Cheat Days 184
Wanting Them Back Is the Real Toxic Trait 186
Block Them 187
Stop Wishing Your Ex a Happy Birthday 188
No, You Can't Stay Friends with Your Ex 191
Now Is the Time to Stop Asking Why 191
The Internet Should Not Be Your Therapist 193
Some Honest Reasons Why Your Ex Is Really Back That Aren't as Romantic as You Want to Believe 196
But, Unfortunately, That's Not What Usually Happens 197
Your Pain Doesn't Mean You Should Get Back Together 200
Rejection Isn't Failure, It's Clarity 203
Being Single Isn't Bad 203
Appendix: What Does It Mean When They Say …? 212
"I like you, but …" 213
"I don't want to do this to you" 213
They want to "lay low" 214
"I need some time to figure things out" 214
"Like," on your social media 215
They "want to take a break" 216
They "don't want a relationship," but really act like they do 217
"I'm scared" / "I need to be alone right now" / "It's just not the right time" / "I'm not ready"/ "I don't know if it's a good idea" 218
Acknowledgments 220