Don't Alienate the Kids!: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce

by Bill Eddy

Overview

In this tenth anniversary edition of Don’t Alienate the Kids! attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows readers how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors.

We all know breakups can get ugly. But sometimes they can get downright vicious, with badmouthing, brainwashing, and allegations of alienation, child abuse and domestic violence, all leading to nasty custody battles.

And when they do, it’s the children who suffer most. During a high-conflict divorce or separation, kids can develop lifelong habits of all-or-nothing thinking, unregulated emotions, and extreme behaviors. Professionals who want to help may unintentionally make things worse, believing everything a parent says or taking sides.

No one can solve this problem alone. That’s because the wall of alienation between parent and child is built by:

the family’s own patterns of conflict

family court professionals who get emotionally “hooked”

society’s rapidly escalating culture of blame

But there's hope! Readers can help kids learn flexible thinking, emotion regulation, effective behaviors, and healthy relationships.

Everyone involved must work together. This book shows how parents, family members, friends, counselors, lawyers, parenting coordinators, divorce coaches, and family court judges can become part of the solution, giving children a foundation of resilience that will last a lifetime.

Bill Eddy is cofounder of the High Conflict Institute and the author or coauthor of thirteen books, including Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, BIFF, and Splitting.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781950057948
Publisher:	Unhooked Books
Publication date:	04/21/2020
Edition description:	2nd ed.
Pages:	336
Sales rank:	813,604
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Foreword by Randi Kreger, co-author of the best-selling title Stop Walking on Eggshells.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is the co-founder and chief innovation officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist . He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. He is the author or co-author of sixteen books and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 3.5 million views.

Table of Contents

Foreword
Introduction

Part 1: Building a Wall (What to Avoid)
Chapter 1: High-Conflict Divorce
Chapter 2: Child Alienation
Chapter 3: 1000 Little Bricks
Chapter 4: Emotions are Contagious
Chapter 5: All-or-Nothing Thinking
Chapter 6: Mirroring Bad Behavior

Part 2: Building a Foundation (What to Do)
Chapter 7: Teaching Resilience
Chapter 8: Reasonable Parent's Dilemma
Chapter 9: How Family and Friends Can Help
Chapter 10: How Lawyers Can Help
Chapter 11: How Counselors Can Help
Chapter 12: The Future of Family Courts
Chapter 13: New Ways for Families
Chapter 14: Update: 2010 to 2020

Appendix A: Before You Go To Family Court
Appendix B: Yes, No, or I'll Think About It
Appendix C: Is Your Child Alienated?
Appendix D: Don't Use "Force"
Appendix E: Evaluating Sexual Abuse Reports in Family Court
Appendix F: New Ways Parent-Child Talk

References
Index
About the Author