Divorcing with Children: Expert Answers to Tough Questions from Parents and Children
Divorcing with Children: Expert Answers to Tough Questions from Parents and Children
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Overview
It's a sad reality but one we must face and understand for the children's sake. Each year, hundreds of thousands of parents separate or divorce, and their marital breakdown is most often heartbreaking, mystifying, and painful for their children. The youngsters, regardless of age, may or may not get honest, open explanations. They may or may not understand. Reasons for the breakdown aside, it is a loss for the children, something to grieve. Many parents make it more difficult by putting the children in the middle, or telling them things to alienate them against the other parent. The children learn poor lessons that can last a lifetime and affect their own future relationships. This book is for separated, divorcing, and divorced parents who want to minimize or remove the fallout for the kids. Those just contemplating separation or divorce will find this text of great help in enabling them to be proactive, set a plan to avoid possible problems, and to deal with those that will inevitably surface.
Therapists Lippman and Lewis share with us the beneficial experience and positive lessons discovered in their decades working with men, women, and children to navigate divorce and still keep the security, stability, and emotional health of the children intact. Vignettes from and interviews with parents, children, and other therapists are included, and the tragic story of broken marriage is told through letters from mothers, fathers, children, and grandparents, and through the authors' answers to those letters. The responses highlight strong needs and sound approaches, to empower good times and help families face, deal with, then minimize the bad. Topics addressed include when and how to tell the children, moving out, setting schedules and visits, the need for flexibility, handling anger and frustration and assuring it does not get directed at the children, communicating, avoiding secrets, and maintaining relationships with grandparents and other relatives. At the core of this book lies one simple truth: though adult relationships may change, the love for children remains constant. Here, Lippman and Lewis educate us—in mind and heart—about how to best love and nurture our children during what can be one of the deepest losses they will face in their lifetimes.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9780313087356 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | ABC-CLIO, LLC |
| Publication date: | 06/30/2008 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| File size: | 243 KB |
About the Author
Jessica G. Lippman is a private practice Clinical Psychologist with nearly 30 years of experience, much of that with mothers, fathers, and children facing or in the midst of divorce. She is Adjunct Assistant Professor at Northwestern Medical School. Lippman and co-author Paddy Lewis regularly appear in media and have been interviewed by publications including the Wall Street Journal, London Times and Chicago Tribune.
Paddy Greenwall Lewis is a recently retired Clinical Psychologist, whose private practice often included couples and families facing divorce issues. She also served 10 years as Chief Psychologist at the Michael Reese Hospital & Medical Center in Chicago. With Lippman, she co-authored an earlier book, Helping Children Cope with the Death of a Parent: A Guide for the First Year (Praeger, 2004).
Table of Contents
Preface
Acknowledgements
Chapter One: Reasons for Divorce
Chapter Two: How to Tell the Children
Chapter Three: Moving Out and the Emotional Reaction of Children
Chapter Four:Custody
Chapter Five: Parental Alienation
Chapter Six: Dos and Donts
Chapter Seven: Grandparents, Uncles, and Aunts
Chapter Eight: Changing Roles
Chapter Nine: New Relationships
Chapter Ten: New Marriages and Problems Inherent in Them
Appendix A: Golden Rules
Appendix B: Pew Research Study on Attitudes Toward Marriage
Appendix C: Financial Aspects of Divorce
Notes
On the Web
Bibliography
Index
What People are Saying About This
"Divorce is a time when even the most articulate people find themselves at a loss for words to help their children through this difficult family change. Because they are parents as well as experienced psychologists, Dr. Lippman and Dr. Lewis have developed practical scripts based on real family letters to guide other parents in discussing divorce with their children in simple, truthful language which reassures children that both parents love them, even if they are no longer married. The book is a compassionate, proactive resource for parents and children."
"Sensitive analyses of the heartbreak facing parents and children before, during, and after a divorce. Down-to-earth advice through carefully selected client letters and interviews make this book a sensible guide to coping with one of life's most difficult processes: the dying of a family. Lippman and Lewis provide effective discursive and behavioral paradigms, and a wealth of information and resources for situations in which those most affected find it hard to respond appropriately. This is a wonderful tool for parents, children and therapists."
"As an attorney who specializes in matrimonial and family law, and has extensive experience in cases involving complex custody issues, I highly recommend this exceptionally useful book. Simply and clearly written, Divorcing with Children will be of invaluable help to families with children who are considering, or are going through a divorce. Reading this book is like having your very own clinician standing beside you, helping you avoid many of the emotional pitfalls of divorce. Lippman and Lewis are two sharp clinicians who know what they are talking about."
"Divorcing with Children is an informative and engaging book that will be of value to many audiences-divorcing parents and their families, therapists, lawyers and law students, and judges and experts who participate in divorce proceedings. The book provides supportive solutions (including occasional selections of poetry or literature) to the invisible wounds of divorce. I consider it an essential tool to enrich my classroom teaching."