Death Is Stupid

by Anastasia Higginbotham, Anastasia Higginbotham (Illustrator)

Overview

Death Is Stupid is an invaluable tool for discussing death, but also the possibilities for celebrating life and love.

"She's in a better place now," adults say again and again. But mortality doesn't seem better, it seems stupid. This forthright exploration of grief and mourning recognizes the anger, confusion, and fear that we feel about death. Necessary, beautiful, and ultimately reassuring.

The Ordinary Terrible Things Series shows children who navigate trouble with their senses on alert and their souls intact. In these stories of common childhood crises, help may come from family, counselors, teachers, or dreams—but crucially, it's the children themselves who find their way to cope and grow.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781948340397
Publisher:	DOTTIR PR
Publication date:	08/04/2020
Series:	Ordinary Terrible Things Series
Pages:	64
Sales rank:	267,717
Product dimensions:	8.50(w) x 8.60(h) x 0.40(d)
Age Range:	4 - 12 Years

About the Author

Anastasia Higginbotham's books about ordinary, terrible things tell stories of children who navigate trouble with their senses on alert and their souls intact. The books take on divorce, death, bullying, illness, confusion about sex, and sexual abuse—for starters. Her essays have appeared in Ms., Bitch, Glamour, The Women's Review of Books, and in the anthologies Listen Up, 33 Things Every Girl Should Know About Women's History, and Yes Means Yes. Higginbotham grew up in Washington, PA, and now writes for NYC nonprofits that combats injustice by empowering those it harms. Her website is www.anastasiahigginbotham.com.

Editorial Reviews

★ 02/22/2016
Following Divorce Is the Worst, this second installment in the Ordinary Terrible Things series acknowledges that despite the aphoristic things adults might say to soften the impact of death, it won’t necessarily help. In collages assembled on brown paper, Higginbotham introduces a boy whose grandmother has died. There are images that may be familiar to readers (flowers, a coffin, a hearse), along with well-intentioned but confusing condolences. “Now your gramma can watch over you wherever you are!” reads one, as the horrified boy imagines a spirit swirling overhead as he guzzles whipped cream straight from the can. It’s that exact mix of true-to-life humor and unflinching honesty that makes Higginbotham’s book work so well, and many of the plainspoken sentiments she includes (“Dying is not a punishment.... You might be freaked out by the grief of those you depend on”), as well as several included ideas for how to remember and honor those who have departed, may be eye-opening for readers facing grief themselves. Ages 4–8. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

"A perfect antidote to all those gentle and fanciful introductions to the toughest and least whimsical of topics... If your child craves directness... [then] this smart, sensitive book is just the thing." —Chicago Tribune

"Wow, and thank God for this book. What an incredible gift this book will be for countless children. Having it fifty-plus years ago would have been a kind of salvation for me and would have helped me grow into a healthier and infinitely less frightened person." —Anne Lamott, author of Grace (Eventually)

"It's [an] exact mix of true-to-life humor and unflinching honesty that makes Higginbotham’s book work so well, and many of the plainspoken sentiments she includes, as well as several included ideas for how to remember and honor those who have departed, may be eye-opening for readers facing grief themselves." —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"We can't stop death, but we can stop the ridiculous sheltering we impose on our naturally curious children." —Caitlin Doughty, mortician and author of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

"The author’s comments are spot-on in validating the child's response, in leaving room for individual beliefs about an afterlife, and in suggesting ways to ease the immediate sense of loss."—Kirkus

"Finally! A book I can give to families!" —Danielle Andy Belusko, funeral home owner and director

"A beautiful, unique resource for discussing death and loss with children." —Korie Leigh, MA, CCLS, CT, child life specialist and bereavement counselor

From the Publisher

06/01/2016
PreS-Gr 3—This exploration of death and grieving begins with a boy mourning the loss of his grandma and his bold observation that "When a loved one dies/people can say some/…stupid things"—referring to the platitudes offered to him (e.g., "Just be grateful for the time you had with her."). Through mixed-media collage, speech bubbles, and simple text, Higginbotham explores a child's experience of loss: "Dying is not a punishment. But it mostly doesn't feel fair." The bold collages, set against a plain brown background, visually reinforce the child's disoriented swirl of emotion. A few of the images are unclear or ambiguous, but the boy's grief and responses are kidlike and recognizable. Readers follow along as he contemplates the reactions of his family members, imagines having a conversation with Gramma, and continues to feel her absence in his life. Eventually, he shares cherished memories with his father, and they work together in Gramma's garden. The author recommends activities that may help ("keep someone and, at the same time, let them go"), such as reading the same books that they enjoyed. She also offers suggestions for dealing with the death of a pet. VERDICT Clearly written to validate and respect a child's feelings, this book is a useful resource for parenting collections or patrons looking for a relatable exploration of death.—Marilyn Taniguchi, Beverly Hills Public Library, CA

School Library Journal

2016-02-17
Observations, advice, comfort, and ways of thinking about one of life's "ordinary terrible things." Higginbotham follows up Divorce Is the Worst (2015) with a dark-skinned child at Gramma's wake and funeral. People say, "I know exactly how you feel," "She's in a better place," and like platitudes, and the child reacts with hurt anger: "Would I be in a better place if I died?!!" Exchanges continue as the child gets home afterward, changes clothes, imagines talking with Gramma once again, asks those hard questions ("Why do we have to die?"), then follows Dad outside to stand in, and tend to, Gramma's garden. The collage illustrations, constructed on squares of brown-paper bag with patchwork pieces of cut photos and cloth, have a somber look that brightens when corners and angles of flower and vegetable garden appear. The author's own neatly printed background comments get a little metaphysical, but in general they are spot-on—in validating the child's response to the aforementioned platitudes, in leaving room for individual beliefs about an afterlife, and in suggesting ways to ease the immediate sense of loss. A closing set of simple memorial activities will also be helpful, though some readers may find the references in that section (and, obliquely, earlier) to the death of a pet jarring in this context. "We don't get to keep everyone we love who has ever lived. But we do get to remember them": so true. (Picture book. 6-10)

Kirkus Reviews