Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Why deal with problematic emotions in coaching? 2
When to deal with emotional problems in coaching 3
Why RECBT is suited to dealing with emotional problems in coaching 6
The step-by-step guide: a word of caution 7
1 The central role played by attitudes in understanding your coachees' problematic and constructive negative emotions 9
Understanding rigid and extreme attitudes 10
Understanding flexible and non-extreme attitudes 15
2 Understanding your coachees' common emotional problems and their healthy alternatives 25
The 'situational ABC framework 25
Emotions and the labels we give to them 28
Anxiety and concern 29
Depression and sadness 34
Guilt and remorse 37
Shame and disappointment 38
Hurt and sorrow 42
Problematic anger and constructive anger 43
Problematic jealousy and constructive jealousy 45
Problematic envy and constructive envy 48
3 A step-by-step guide to dealing with your coachees' emotional problems 53
Introduction 53
Step 1 Determine whether or not your coachee has an emotional problem; if she has, determine whether or not she is stuck and whether or not she can bypass it to pursue her personal development objectives 54
Step 2 Elicit your coachee's explicit agreement to target this emotional problem for change and establish a contingency plan if you fail to help her 63
Step 3 Formulate the problem that is serving as an obstacle to the pursuit of your coachee's personal development objectives 65
Step 4 Set a goal with respect to the formulated problem 67
Step 5 Assess for the presence of a meta-emotional problem and decide with the coachee if this is to become the target problem 71
Step 6 Ask for a concrete example of the coachee's formulated target problem 74
Step 7 Identify 'C' 75
Step 8 Identify 'A' 84
Step 9 Elicit your coachee's emotional goal in the specific example being assessed 88
Step 10 Help your coachee to understand the 'B'-'C' connection and identify their rigid and extreme basic attitudes and their alternative flexible and non-extreme basic attitudes and make the appropriate connections with 'C' 102
Step 11 Elicit commitment from the coachee to pursue her emotional and/or behavioural goals and help her to see that changing her rigid and extreme attitudes is the best way of doing this 109
Step 12 Question both rigid and flexible attitudes together and extreme and non-extreme attitudes together 114
Step 13 Question a rigid attitude and a flexible attitude 115
Step 14 Question an awfulising attitude and a non-awfulising attitude 122
Step 15 Question a discomfort intolerance attitude and a discomfort tolerance attitude 126
Step 16 Question a devaluation attitude and an unconditional acceptance attitude 131
Step 17 Help the coachee to strengthen her conviction in her flexible and non-extreme attitudes and weaken her conviction in her rigid and extreme attitudes 138
Step 18 Negotiate homework assignments 145
Step 19 Review homework assignments 152
Step 20 Revisit and question 'A' if necessary 160
4 Epilogue 167
How many sessions? 167
Using the step-by-step model: a reminder 169
References 171
Index 173
