Dark Cognitions

by Kimberlee R. Mendoza Narrated by II J. Austin Moran

Overview

Every morning, psychologist Dr. Brian Manifold wakes up to a catatonic wife and the memory of an accident he'd rather forget. In order to escape the frequent panic attacks, delusions, and recurring dreams of a hideous beast, he embraces an aberrant behavior that makes coping with reality easier to handle. But when the hospital administrator worries that Brian may be a danger to his patients and to himself and orders him to see a therapist, there's no way for him to escape the horror that the truth reveals.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940169087635
Publisher:	Pelican Book Group
Publication date:	07/11/2014
Edition description:	Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

Dark Cognitions

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By Kimberlee Mendoza

Pelican Ventures, LLC

Copyright © 2014 Kimberlee Mendoza
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-61116-358-2

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CHAPTER 1

Danielle flipped on a desk lamp and walked behind the desk. The office felt still, just as she liked it. But the peace wouldn't last. The rest of the staff would be along soon to start another —

An explosive blast shattered the quiet.

Her heart lurched as she dropped to the floor. What was that? She listened hard in the soft light, afraid to stand. Silence rang in her ears. Slowly, she stood and inched out from behind her desk.

A single light glowed from under Dr. Manifold's door. Did she dare go down there? She eyed the elevator and then her purse. Leaving the building seemed better. But what if he was hurt? Compassion — or maybe curiosity — won out. On tiptoes, she crept forward, her rubber soles squeaking on the tile floor.

"Hello? Dr. Manifold? Are you in there?" Her heart hammered. She lifted a hand to the door, and then closed it in a fist, hesitant to discover what lay within.

The receptionist's telephone echoed down the dark hallway, almost sending her into cardiac arrest. Swallowing, she pushed the door. "Dr. Manifold? Brian?"

A groan sounded from behind the couch.

She leaned forward, keeping her feet planted.

A lock of the doctor's brown hair was draped across the arm of the couch.

"Dr. Manifold, are you OK?" She stepped around the couch and stared in horror.

A diminutive crimson river flowed from the doctor's ear, and a gun hung loosely from his hand.

Timidly, she grabbed the weapon and tossed it into a nearby chair, then pulled off her sweater and pressed it against his wound, before checking his pulse with her free hand. Weak.

She pulled her cell phone out. Unable to remember the direct line to the ER on the bottom floor, she dialed the shack below. "Security?" Danielle yelled once someone answered. "Hurry and get up here! Dr. Manifold shot himself!"

In what seemed like hours, two security guards armed with only nightsticks and brawn bolted through the office door.

"What happened?" Bernie, the older of the two guards, ran over and knelt next to them.

"I heard a gunshot." Her lip quivered. She blinked back tears and pointed to the nearby chair. "The gun is there."

The guard lifted his radio. "Mac, get someone in ER to bring up a gurney. We have an injured man and shots fired."

The radio squawked. "Say again."

"Bring a gurney from ER. One of the doctors has been shot!"

"Yes, sir."

The other guard, Les, peeked over the couch with one eyebrow raised. Instantly, his face became grass green. He bolted for a trashcan by the door and expelled the contents of his stomach.

Dani grimaced.

"Les, why don't you check the other offices?" Bernie asked.

The man nodded without saying a word and stepped into the hallway.

Danielle wanted to join him. Nausea fluttered through her stomach, as well.

"Did you see what happened?" Bernie searched her face.

She shook her head, her gaze lingering on the doorway. "I just heard the shot, and found him with the gun."

"I see." He nodded and put a couple fingers to the inert man's neck. "His pulse is weak."

An elevator bell chimed in the hallway and clear relief crossed the guard's face.

Hers, too, she was sure. It took everything in her not to bolt. It wasn't as if she'd never seen blood before. But this was Brian — her colleague, and once, a friend.

Les entered. "All clear."

Two medical personnel entered with a gurney.

Danielle stood and stared at her scarlet hands. "May I go home?"

"I'm sorry. Not yet." Bernie offered a tight smile. "The cops will want to talk to you. Why don't you go with Les to the ER waiting room, and I'll let the police know that you're there." He faced his partner. "Let her clean up and get some coffee. And wipe your face." Bernie motioned his hand over his own face in rapid circles. "You've got stuff, um ..."

"Yes, sir." Les wiped at his face with the back of his brown sleeve. "I'm sorry, sir. I've just never seen anything like this."

"No worries, son. It's your first week." Bernie patted Les's back. "Just take care of the lady, OK? I'll work this out."

Les nodded and faced her. "Come on, miss."

God help Brian. Right now, it didn't matter that he'd been a jerk; Danielle didn't want him to die.

CHAPTER 2

Three Months Earlier

Danielle hung up the phone and glanced over the counter. Her boss, Merle approached.

"Can I see you a moment?" Merle's expression was unusually stern. She didn't wait for Danielle's answer; she spun around and headed for the conference room.

"Sure." Danielle swallowed as she followed.

"Sit down, please."

Danielle slid into one of the high-backed chairs, toying with her thumb ring. She wracked her brain trying to remember what she might have done to get fired.

"I'll get straight to the point. Are you seeing Dr. Manifold?"

Her heart skipped. She wished. "Not really. I mean, he's shown interest, but we haven't gone out or anything."

"Do you make a habit of dating married men?"

Danielle's chest heaved. "Married?"

Merle stared at Danielle before responding. "Yes. He has a wife named Rhonda. Surely you knew that."

Danielle suddenly felt sick. "We've never gone out. I'm a Christian woman. I would never ..." Her eyes welled with tears. She didn't know if it was because she was embarrassed, angry, hurt, or ashamed. She'd never look at Brian — Dr. Manifold — the same way again. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I'm glad to hear your intentions weren't depraved. Rhonda is my friend, and ..." Merle stood and moved to the door. "I like you, Ms. Tyler. You're a great assistant. I'd like to see you stay."

Danielle stood on wobbly legs and tried to offer a smile. "And I'd like to, ma'am."

Her boss nodded and left.

Danielle's confused thoughts zeroed in one thing. Brian's advances. She'd actually been planning to accept his next invitation to lunch. What a jerk! Married?

* * *

The clock on the table by his bedside table read 7:00 AM. Brian gazed at the blinking red colon and groaned.

The hum of his wife's breathing matched the blinking of the colon.

He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the clock again. 7:01 AM. Brian flopped onto his back and looked at the ceiling. A small crack cut through the blown popcorn. He flexed his toes under the covers, not wanting to face the clock again. Work wasn't for another hour. Brian turned toward his wife.

Her mouth hung slightly open and hair draped down over her face.

He nudged her shoulder.

She didn't budge.

"Rhonda," he whispered.

Still no movement.

"Rhonda, wake up."

Nothing.

Brian shook his head and faced back to the clock. 7:03.

Close enough. He got out of bed, dressed, and then headed for the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway and smiled.

His ten-year-old daughter sat perched on the edge of the sink, in yellow daisy pajamas, an open white robe, and hot pink slippers, looking like an angel. Her focus seemed drawn to something out the window. Beams of sunlight kissed her hair, causing her honey-blonde tresses to sparkle. How quickly she'd grown. At this point, she was all he had.

Lara reached into the whitewashed cupboard, grabbed a cup and filled it with water. Through the bottom of her glass, she must have spotted her father. She jumped. Water splashed down.

"Dad!" She frowned at the droplets that covered her pajamas. "Look what you've made me do!"

"Sorry." He chuckled and handed her a dishtowel.

She grabbed it and rubbed the front of her top. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about how proud you make me."

"Why?" She glared at him with slight irritation. "I'm only drinking water."

"You're a good kid. What can I say?" He pulled a tan coffee mug from the cabinet. "And I'm amazed at how much you look like your mother did." He grinned and faced her.

She hopped off the counter and crossed her arms. "You act like mom's dead, when she's only asleep in the other room."

"Of course she is." He turned away and poured himself a cup of coffee. "She's always asleep."

"Dad, please don't get mad at me for saying this." She took a deep breath. "But it's your fault she doesn't get better."

"Don't start." Brian stared at the microwave. He couldn't look at his daughter. Mainly, because she wasn't far off.

"But Dad, if you'd just talk to her, then maybe things would change."

He didn't have the energy to fight her about this again. "I need to get to work."

Lara stepped forward with her arms out. "I love you, Daddy."

Brian hugged her and kissed the top of her head. "And I love you, too, sweetheart."

"The bus will be here soon, so I'd better get ready." She pulled away and walked down the hallway, but spun back. "Dad, just to let you know, we're having Parents' Night at school next Friday. I hope you'll go."

"I wouldn't miss it." He finished off the last drop of coffee, walked to the master bedroom and nudged the door open.

Across the room lay his wife. Her eyes were open, but distant. Her hair was matted to her head, and her once rosy cheeks were now hollow and gray.

How he missed her. "I'll be home late."

She didn't stir.

"Goodbye." Brian closed the door and walked toward the entryway. He glanced back at his room and shook his head. He would go to work. That would be enough for now.

* * *

Danielle spent weeks washing any feelings of Brian out of her head. The whole idea of her crunching on a married man gave her the willies. But now someone else held her interest. And this time, she confirmed that he was single from several sources.

Peeking around a computer monitor, Danielle watched Dr. Ray Jensen as he talked to one of the residents. He is so gorgeous. Tall, dark messy hair, high cheekbones, and the most gorgeous gray-blue eyes. Every time he looked at her, she melted in her ugly white shoes.

But she was nothing more than an assistant. Though he'd always been nice, he kept a healthy distance. Or maybe the rumors about her were too much for him. Chasing after Dr. Brian Manifold did little for her reputation. How was she supposed to know he was married? No one seemed to notice that she put on the brakes the minute she found out. Now the rumors were rampant, the damage done. And it didn't help that Brian still flirted with her in front of everyone.

"Danielle?"

She blinked.

Merle waved a hand in front of her face.

"Sorry. I guess I zoned out for a second. These double shifts are killers." Danielle yawned.

"Well, medical school is terrible compared to double shifts, I've heard. Being a resident is worse than anything." Merle handed over a stack of files and rubbed her swollen torso. "If you'll take these up to the seventh floor that would be great. I need to get off my feet and feed the little one a piece of that chocolate ice cream cake left from Dr. Benton's birthday party."

"Wouldn't you be better eating prenatal vitamins and spinach instead?"

Merle laughed. "I wouldn't eat spinach even if I wasn't pregnant. But I'll be sure to sprinkle some vitamins, and maybe some carrots, on top."

Danielle wrinkled her nose. "And I bet ice cream manufacturers will be knocking down your door to get that recipe. Sounds yummy." She settled the files in the crook of her elbow. "I'd be happy to take these up."

Merle lumbered toward the break room.

Danielle checked Ray's current location. He stood poised at the elevator, waiting for the door to open.

She walked next to him but didn't say anything.

The elevator dinged and the door slid open.

Ray walked in first and turned to face the numbered buttons. He punched seven, glanced at her, and then grinned. "Floor?"

"The same, please."

He nodded.

The door closed and only the melodic tune of a country-western cheatin' song played in the space. Her heart fluttered. She took a deep breath and prayed Ray didn't know this song.

He shifted his weight from one foot to another. His spicy aftershave tickled her nose, and her stomach flipped. Why couldn't she just tell him how she felt? Because I can't take the thought of him rejecting me.

The elevator reached its floor and opened.

He motioned for her to go first.

"Thanks." She stepped out, disappointed.

"Have a good day," he said, his gray eyes twinkling at her as he walked toward the counseling offices.

Her voice caught, leaving her without a response. You, too. Hope you have a nice day. You're beautiful. Marry me. She pinched her eyes closed. If her hands weren't filled with files, she'd probably slap herself.

"Are you OK?" Ray's voice startled her.

Her eyes shot wide open.

He stood close enough for her to smell his spicy cologne again. It made her heart flutter.

She gulped. "Um, yeah. Double shift. Just tired."

He lightly touched her shoulder. "Maybe you should take a break. I'd hate to see you pass out in the hall."

She nodded dumbly.

"Where are you going with those?"

"These?" Snap out of it. "Oh, the files. Right. Um, just here." She walked to the counter and handed them to the receptionist. "Merle said you needed these."

The woman nodded, took them, and turned away.

"You sure you're OK? Maybe you should lie down." Ray stepped to her side.

"I'm just hungry, I missed my lunch." And before she could stop herself, "You could join me." Her heart leapt into her throat.

He stared at her, and then checked his watch. "Yeah, I suppose. It's almost dinner time."

"I hear the cafeteria is serving potato cheese soup today."

"Oh?" His cell phone rang. He held up a finger as he checked the display. "Um, just give me a second. I need to take this call."

"Sure."

He stepped a few feet away.

She watched him with fascination. Would he really go to lunch with her? Her stomach flipped. She needed someone like him in her life. Everything she'd heard about him said he was worth knowing — a Christian man with strong morals and a good sense of humor; the kind of man she had been praying for since she was young enough to care.

A second later, he snapped his phone closed and walked back to her. "I'm sorry, but I can't today. How about tomorrow?"

"That would be great." She offered a grin and nodded. Anything more and she'd give herself away.

"OK, then." He waved and walked toward his office.

She crossed to the elevator and stepped inside. When the door closed, she clapped a hand over her mouth to hold in a triumphant scream.

Remembering the cameras, she looked up into the glass dome in the corner and mouthed, "I have a date with Dr. Ray, Bernie!" She pumped her fist in victory.

CHAPTER 3

Dr. Brian Manifold squealed his expensive silver sedan into the parking space that bore his name and braked hard. He threw open the door, slammed it, and then braced himself to enter the four-story hospital that he called "home."

An all-too-familiar pain shot through the pit of his stomach and he took a deep breath, willing it to stop. Thinking about personal issues was something he didn't do. He couldn't do. Not and stay sane.

The elevator door opened and his pain subsided when he caught sight of Danielle. Her smile remained the only drug that numbed him from reality.

A blonde curl escaped from her hair clip, and cornflower blue eyes pulled him in like a pool on a summer day. He started towards her.

Ray stepped out of the other elevator and walked up to him.

Brian sighed. "What do you need, Ray?"

"Remember we have a meeting tomorrow morning." Ray's expression and tone were serious. "I advise you not miss it this time. I can't keep covering for you."

"Nice to see you, too."

Brian glanced over Ray's shoulder and winked at Danielle.

She dropped her gaze to some charts on the counter.

Ray followed his gaze. "Look, I know things aren't good at home. Maybe you need to take a break. Spend some time with Rhonda."

Brian's gaze snapped to Ray's. Home? He couldn't do that. "No, I'm fine. I'd rather work."

"We're friends, right?"

No. Not really. Once his best friend, Ray had managed to "apple-polish" his way to the top, and Brian despised him for it. "Sure. Once upon a time. Well, until you moved into management." And climbed over my back to get there.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Dark Cognitions by Kimberlee Mendoza. Copyright © 2014 Kimberlee Mendoza. Excerpted by permission of Pelican Ventures, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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