11/06/2023
“Molestation wasn’t something I ever got used to, no matter how many times it happened,” Niami writes in this charged, searching memoir about a childhood and adolescence that found the author moving seven times in seven years. “However, having been molested since the age of seven, I was well versed on how this was going to go.” The scene that follows is, of course, wrenching, much like the scenes that preceded it, hear-trending accounts of adult men, including one she dubs “Trustworthy Monster #1,” taking cruel advantage of a child. Kissing Asphalt covers years of abuse and sexual assault, plus bullying at school and the bizarre incident where her birth father kidnapped the author and her brother and spirited them away to Baghdad for a year. Niami embarks upon this memoir, the first in a series, with a spirit of healing.
To that end, Kissing Asphalt finds Niami relishing the best that life offers: the food in Iraq, moments of trust and connection with friends and family, the pleasure of buying her first bong with money saved from work at Taco Bell or discovering her rock-star heroes, the Go-Go’s. Niami’s prose is direct and frank, like a friend disclosing intimate truths. She writes of discovering her own sexuality while watching the 1980s sitcom The Facts of Life: “Jo Polniaczek always had me a bit captivated, pondering thoughts a twelve-year-old shouldn’t but often does: sex.”
The book’s heart is Niami’s complex, touching relationship with her mother, plus her two brothers, the oldest of whom Niami didn’t know about until her teen years. Niami shares some hair-raising domestic arguments, but also attests that her mother did her best with limited tools, having come from an abusive home herself. Niami prefers to move to the next incident, whether gutting or charming, rather than dwell on analysis. Her story, though, showcases the power of facing one’s past to take power over one’s life.
Takeaway: Frank, engaging memoir of embracing life despite abuse.
Comparable Titles: R. Layla Salek’s Chaos in Color, Ariel Leve’s An Abbreviated Life.
Production grades Cover: B+ Design and typography: A Illustrations: N/A Editing: A- Marketing copy: A