Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You

by Patricia Evans
Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You

by Patricia Evans

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Overview

Learn how to “break the spell” of control with this bestseller hailed by Oprah Winfrey. Controlling People reveals the thought processes of those who try to control others and provides a “spell-breaking” mind-set for those who suffer this insidious manipulation.

Does this sound like someone you know?

*Always needs to be right
*Tells you who you are and what you think
*Implies that you’re wrong or inadequate when you don’t agree
*Is threatened by people who are “different”
*Feels attacked when questioned
*Doesn’t seem to really hear or see you

If any of the above traits sounds familiar, help is on the way! In Controlling People, bestselling author Patricia Evans, tackles the “controlling personality,” and reveals how and why these people try to run other people’s lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior—even as they alienate others and often lose those they love.

Controlling People helps you unravel the senseless behavior that plagues both the controller and the victim. Can the pattern or spell be broken? YES, says the author.

By understanding the compelling force involved, you can be a catalyst for change and actually become a spell-breaker. Once the spell is broken and the controller sees others as they really are, a genuine connection can be forged and healing can occur.

Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781580625692
Publisher: Adams Media
Publication date: 02/01/2003
Pages: 352
Sales rank: 242,966
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of four books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People, and The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? A highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker, and consultant, Evans has appeared on Oprah, CNN, CBS News, Fox News, She Knows, and on numerous national radio programs. Her work has been featured in Shape, Newsweek, and O, The Oprah Magazine. Evans lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at VerbalAbuse.com.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsix
Introductionxiii
Part I
Chapter ISense and Nonsense3
Chapter IIThe Problem9
Chapter IIIIntentions21
Chapter IVBeside Yourself27
Chapter VThe "Self" We Are Sometimes "Beside"31
Chapter VIDisconnection: Training, Trying, and Trauma37
Chapter VIIBuilt Backwards53
Chapter VIIIPretending and Its Impact57
Chapter IXPervasive Disconnection63
Chapter XBackwards Approaches69
Chapter XIBackwards Connections79
Chapter XIIThe Teddy Illusion89
Chapter XIIIThe Spell101
Chapter XIVThe Control Connection111
Chapter XVThe Controller and the Witness117
Part II
Chapter XVIPlugged In and Powerless127
Chapter XVIISigns of Separateness137
Chapter XVIIIThe Controller's Identity Dilemma149
Chapter XIXFear161
Chapter XXControl Tactics171
Chapter XXIConfabulation179
Part III
Chapter XXIIOther "Close" Connections189
Chapter XXIIIOne Mind and the Conformity Connection203
Chapter XXIVControl: Perpetuated and Institutionalized215
Part IV
Chapter XXVThe Compelling Force229
Chapter XXVITrue Connection237
Chapter XXVIIThe Strangest Paradox243
Chapter XXVIIIBreaking the Spell249
Chapter XXIXClarity265
Chapter XXXAligned with the Compelling Force277
Afterword283
Bibliography285
Survey287
Endnotes291
Index293
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