The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

by Shefali Tsabary

Overview

Instead of being merely the receiver of the parents' psychological and spiritual legacy, children function as ushers of the parents' development. Parents unwittingly pass on an inheritance of psychological pain and emotional shallowness. To handle the behavior that results, traditional books on parenting abound with clever techniques for control and quick fixes for dysfunction. In Dr. Shefali Tsabary's conscious approach to parenting, however, children serve as mirrors of their parents' forgotten self. Those willing to look in the mirror have an opportunity to establish a relationship with their own inner state of wholeness. Once they find their way back to their essence, parents enter into communion with their children, shifting away from the traditional parent-to-child "know it all" approach and more towards a mutual parent-with-child relationship. The pillars of the parental ego crumble as the parents awaken to the ability of their children to transport them into a state of presence.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781897238455
Publisher:	Namaste Publishing
Publication date:	11/01/2010
Pages:	300
Sales rank:	43,377
Product dimensions:	8.90(w) x 6.00(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Shefali Tsabary, PhD, received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University, New York. Dr. Shefali was exposed to Eastern mindfulness at an early age and integrates its teachings with Western psychology. This blend of East and West allows her to reach a global audience. Her ability to appeal to both a psychologically astute and consciousness-driven audience establishes her as one of a kind in the parenting field.

Dr. Shefali has worked with a varied demographic, ranging from survivors of the Asian Tsunami to Third World women, from inner city youth to suburban families, and from the elderly and infirm to corporate leaders.

Dr. Shefali lectures extensively on mindful living and conscious parenting around the world, and is in private practice. She is author of Out of Control, published in early 2014, as well as the book It’s a Mom: What you should know about the early years of motherhood, which debuted on the Indian National Bestseller List for four weeks.

Dr Shefali was recently a guest on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and Lifeclass television programs. In her introduction of the author and this book, Oprah stated that she has not been as excited about a book's philosophy as she is about this one since Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth.

This book hit #1 at Amazon and BN, and continues to remain in the top ten.

Table of Contents

1 A Real Person Like Myself 1

You Are Raising a Spirit Throbbing with Its Own Signature 2

Parenting Unconsciously Is Where We All Begin 4

To Connect with Your Children, First Connect with Yourself 6

You Can Build a Feeling of Kinship in Your Family 9

How Consciousness Changes How We Parent 10

2 The Spiritual Reason We Birth Our Children 13

How Can a Child Awaken an Adult" 15

How Conscious Parenting Is Learned 19

A Conscious Parent Doesn't Emerge Overnight 21

3 Release Your Children From the Need for Your Approval 25

Acceptance Is Key 28

There's Nothing Passive About Acceptance 30

Don't Parent with a Cookie-Cutter Approach 31

You Will Only Accept Your Child to the Degree You Accept Yourself 35

4 A Blow to Our Ego 39

How Does Ego Function" 40

The Ego of Image 43

The Ego of Perfection 44

The Ego of Status 47

The Ego of Conformity 48

The Ego of Being "In Control" 50

You Can Transition Out of Ego 53

5 Is Your Child Growing You Up" 56

Face Up to Your Reactivity 58

Discover Your Emotional Inheritance 61

How Can You Integrate Your Pain" 64

How to Handle Your Child's Pain 65

Take One Step at a Time 68

What It Takes to Tame Your Anxiety 74

6 Life Is Wise 77

Life Itself Teaches Us 78

Is It Possible to Trust Life" 80

Your Child Doesn't Need to Earn Your Trust 81

How You Draw Many of Your Circumstances to You 83

You Can Break Free of Your Unconsciousness 86

It's All in the Interpretation We Give it 89

7 The Challenge of a Lifetime 95

Infancy and the "Terrible Two's"

The Lessons of Infancy for the Parent 96

A Journey of Self-discovery 98

A Chance to Recover Your Rhythm 100

Toddlerhood: A Planet All Its Own 102

Toddlerhood Is the Time to Sow the Seeds of Containment 105

8 From Center Stage to Supportiang Cast 109

A Parent's Opportunity for Spiritual

Growth in the School Years

Middle School: the Challenge of "Being There" for Our Children 110

High School: the Need for Unequivocal Acceptance 113

Why It's Important to Resist the Temptation to Control 115

9 The Insanity of Parenthood 117

The Particular Role of the Mother 118

Raising a Child Is an Invitation to Surrender to a Different Pace 122

10 Parent From Wholeness Instead of Your Wounds 125

If You Grew Up Feeling You Weren't Good Enough 127

If You Learned to Please Others to Earn Their Approval 130

Were You Unable to Be Yourself" 134

"Bad" Behavior Is Really a Search for Our Inherent Goodness 137

Your Brokenness Doesn't Reflect Your True Being 139

11 A Household Built on Being 141

Are You Aware that Anxiety Is a Form of "Doing"" 144

What's the Source of Our Fear of the Present" 147

Beyond Living by "Doing" 149

The Moment Is Now 151

12 The Wonder of the Ordinary 155

Do You Revel In Your Child's Ordinariness" 156

The Fallacy of the Overproduction of Life 158

Surrender the Urgency to "Do" 161

Back to Basics 162

A Life that Mirrors Who Your Child Is 165

13 Shelve Those Great Expectations 167

Honor Who Your Child Is 168

How to Set the Bar for Your Child 169

What Can You Realistically Expect of Your Child" 172

Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome 174

Use the Right Kind of Praise 178

Realize that Your Children Imitate You 179

14 Create a Conscious Space In Your Child's Life 183

Allow Room for Stillness in Your Child's Schedule 184

Create a Meaningful Narrative for Your Child 186

Why Expressing Gratitude to Your Child Is a Powerful Parenting Tool 188

15 Connect to Your Child with Engaged Presence 193

How We Undermine Our Attempts to Connect with Our Children 195

Do You Validate Your Children's Behavior, or Their Being" 197

Just Be There 200

16 How to Handle Your Child's Mistakes 205

Do You Really Know Why They Did What They Did" 206

How You Can Transform Mistakes into Spiritual Gold 208

Celebrate Your Child's Mistakes 210

17 The Two Wings of the Eagle 213

A Child Can't Soar Without Containment 214

The Spiritual Approach to Discipline 218

Don't Avoid Conflict-Value It 221

How to Discipline in a Manner that Works 223

The Rule about Rules 226

Why Teaching Is More Effective Than Punishment 229

Acting Out Reflects Unmet Emotional Needs 232

Do You Own Your Part in Your Children's Behavior" 234

Why Delightful Children Turn into Defiant Teens 238

Heavy-handed Tactics Backfire 241

How to Execute the "No" 245

Timing Is Crucial 249

Afterword

Understanding Our Shared Unconsciousness 253

We're All in This Together 254

Becoming a Parent Who Is Present 256

Appendix

The Consciousness Compass 259

Questions to Ask Ourselves

Some Highlights From the Conscious Parent 263