Confessions of an Introvert: The Shy Girl's Guide to Career, Networking and Getting the Most Out of Life

by Meghan Wier

Overview

"Funny and insightful, Meghan has written a true resource for any introvert seeking to break out of their shell and step into the spotlight."
Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and CEO of Business Network International

Are you an introvert who wants to succeed in the business world? Do you:

• Avoid unnecessary social interaction?
• Keep to yourself or to your small group of friends?
• Seek out time alone?

Confessions of an Introvert offers you practical advice, interspersed with real-life stories, that will help you overcome your shyness and find ways to have a satisfying future in the corporate world. Packed with valuable insights and personal anecdotes, Confessions of an Introvert will teach you:

• Why business networking is the key to professional growth and how even the shyest person can learn how to network
• That a little self-promotion goes a long way in showing others how good a businessperson you are
• How to communicate with people in a way that is comfortable to you but still gets the results you need
• That being an introvert is just a part of who you are and not a serious roadblock to your success

Confessions of an Introvert is a must-read for any introvert seeking to excel in business and get the most out of life.

Meghan Wier is known for melding her professional style, keen business sense, and desire to share her work and life experiences with others. An introvert/forced-extrovert, her relationship-building savvy and strong marketing skills have made her a recognized expert in building through networking. Ms. Wier is an influential authority on business networking and marketing.

From ForeWord Magazine (12/10/08):
Networking is a big buzzword these days. People are joining networking Web sites and networking groups in the hopes of improving their career or social status, or simply expanding their social circle. Confessions of an Introvert: The Shy Girl's Guide to Career, Networking, and Getting the Most of Out Life helps women for whom networking and self-promotion don't come naturally.

"[E]xtroverts gain energy from other people and introverts feel like they just get the energy sucked out of them by other people," author Meghan Wier writes. She is an expert on marketing and networking, and a self-proclaimed introvert. Wier insists that introverts can become charismatic speakers and great leaders. She helps readers along the way with sections on identifying sources of anxiety, building confidence in tough situations, becoming an expert in one's field, and organization. In order to make public speaking easier, she recommends that readers write down everything they dislike about speaking and why, then come up with actions that will offset each item.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781402230134
Publisher:	Sourcebooks
Publication date:	02/01/2009
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	224
File size:	648 KB

About the Author

Throughout her diverse career, Meghan Wier has been a carpenter, a special events coordinator, a professional fundraiser, a corporate relations director, a salesperson, and a vice president at businesses and organizations large and small. Ms. Wier is known for melding her professional style, keen business sense, and desire to share her work and life experiences with others. An introvert/forced extrovert, her relationship-building savvy and strong marketing skills have made her a recognized expert in building through networking. Ms. Wier is an influential authority on business networking and marketing, and she believes in the importance of managing your job as if you owned the company. Currently, Meghan Wier is working as a writer in Charlotte, North Carolina, where she lives with her husband Jason and son Nathaniel.

Read an Excerpt

Excerpt from the Introduction of Confessions of an Introvert by Meghan Wier

As an introvert, I can honestly say that I have never been one for the spotlight, and I generally don't crave much attention of any kind. I cringe at the thought of public speaking, and I will avoid phone calls with new people if possible - even if just to order pizza. However, I believe that I have always worked very hard in my professional career, and I do appreciate being recognized for that hard work. The feeling of accomplishment, pride in my work, and the desire to be considered successful drive me to do more and to be more - and sometimes that means doing things that push my comfort level and stretch my boundaries.

After several years of reflection and candid conversations with other people about my own challenges as a businesswoman, and later as a business owner, I realized that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of us out there - shy, introverted professionals who are trying to triumph in business while balancing the demands of life, family, and convention. I began to examine what it is about me and others that creates the obstacles for career advancement and business success, and to my surprise, much of it came down to inherent personality traits. I hadn't ever labeled myself an introvert, although I certainly knew I was one. But until I took the time to understand the reasons for my own eventual happiness and career success, I was not aware how much the introversion, and my later ability to manage it, had affected my accomplishments.

What I came to know is that, beyond dealing with life's regular idiosyncrasies and injustices, introversion and shyness can be career crippling. Introversion often prevents professionals from establishing strong business relationships, speaking up, proving themselves to others, and being viewed as legitimate and knowledgeable. In some cases, a supervisor or peers may see being an introvert as a weakness - leading to slower promotions and career advancement.

It is no surprise that to be successful, businesspeople need to be heard from and respected. They need to be considered strong leaders and exude confidence. All that is known; however, as introverts, it is natural to seek occasional solitude, feel the drain from interactions with others, and handle social interaction differently. And this is often contradictory to being seen as strong and capable by the people around us. The introvert is at an immediate disadvantage in a business setting, and this can have serious adverse affects. This is what drove me to investigate the habits and skills of other successful introverts and to seek ways to harness that knowledge and share it with others.

I am a shy introvert, but that does not mean that I'm a recluse, socially inept, or unsuccessful in my career. It does not mean that I lack confidence or that I am not a strong leader respected by my peers. It does, however, mean that I have had to use my natural abilities as an introvert. Instinctually I crave time spent alone thinking and preparing. I enjoy the opportunity and excel at working alone, and I have need of fewer, but stronger, relationships than many of my peers. As an introvert, I know I handle social situations differently, and so I use this to adapt my behavior to be the most effective when faced with these types of challenges.

My research and investigation revealed that many successful individuals are introverted, yet they, like me, have learned to project their inner strength outward. As an introvert, this was not a natural process for me but one that evolved through years of first failures and then successes in my professional career.

Being successful is different for everyone, but sincerely considering yourself successful is the greatest accomplishment - the greatest success. For a long time I felt that the goals I sought would not be obtainable for an introvert such as myself. There were just too many factors working against me. What I have come to realize is that I put more roadblocks in my own way than others did. I was the one who could most determine and affect my own level of success. If I wanted it, it may have been hard work, but nothing was impossible. Being an introvert did not stop me from doing anything I hoped to do; it only shaped how I might go about doing it.

The truth is that success takes on many forms. Success is self-determined, it is relative, and it evolves over time. For many years I was essentially a salesperson, and my success was directly measured by the number of sales I made and the dollars I generated. Struggling in this world, I believed that good salespeople were inherently pushy and ruthless - the people around me were being successful at the expense of the clients whom they were meant to serve. I found that type of behavior sometimes unethical and always unsettling and distasteful. I did not want to succumb to that type of behavior in order to meet a sales goal, but I also hated failure. What I did not know, or what I had forgotten in the race for better numbers, was that success cannot always be singularly defined by one goal. I was focused on how many meetings could be set, calls made, deals closed, and yet I still struggled. It was easier to fail, because it is hard to be motivated by more when you derive no pleasure from any.

As an introvert, I did not push myself onto others to make the sale. When I tried to follow the sales strategy set by my supervisors and hammered by sales trainers, I fumbled through it, uncomfortable, uninspired, and ineffective. I bristled at the enthusiastic aggression of my peers as they pushed prospects into buying something that they may not have needed or wanted. I was miserable, and needless to say, I wasn't a great salesperson. As much as I wanted to succeed in my job, I never saw myself excelling in sales, because my misconception was that to truly be good, I would have to be aggressive and extroverted like my coworkers. I felt that to be good at sales, I would have to betray a part of myself and become someone I wasn't and did not wish to be. What I later realized was that I had not worked to find a way to have success as an introverted salesperson. Instead, I pretended I was like those around me, just to fail, feel inadequate, and suffer from ever-lessening self-confidence. A similar scenario played out several more times and in several jobs as I looked to find a career that best suited my values, skills, and personality.

Table of Contents

Introduction

CHAPTER 1: SO AM I AN INTROVERT (OR JUST KIND OF SHY)?
Reaching Out and Reaching In
Getting What You Want out of Life
The Rule of Persistence
Emerging from the Shadows
Shyness, Social Anxiety, and Stage Fright - Oh My

CHAPTER 2: BUILDING BLOCKS OF SUCCESS
Building Blocks of Business Success
Self-Belief
Business Acumen
Creating Connection
Network Knowledge

CHAPTER 3: FIRST STEPS
Realistic Goals
Getting Out and Being On
Being a Forced Extrovert
Reaching Equilibrium (Realigning, Prioritizing, Balancing)
Outsourcing the Small Stuff

CHAPTER 4: WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS IQ?
Fourteen Ways to Self-Promote
Self-Branding - Developing the Outer You
Confidence - Your Secret Weapon
Rock That Boat - Making Waves
Management - You Are the Boss of You
Mentor and Be Mentored
Learning from the Best - The Wegmans Approach

CHAPTER 5: ADVANCED BUSINESS KNOWLEDGE
Have a Backup Plan (and Why I Always Carry a Tea Bag)
Establish Yourself as an Expert
Continuing Education
Charisma
Taking the Lead
Being a Great Leader
Seeking Out Feedback
Capitalize on Opportunities
Getting Professional Help

CHAPTER 6: BUSINESS NETWORKING
The Importance of Networking
Networking 101
Assessing Your Networking Needs
Finding Your Style
You Already Have the Skills - Apply Them
Make Networking Your Job
Reap the Rewards of Business Networking
Getting More Referrals

CHAPTER 7: GETTING NOTICED AND BEING FABULOUS
What Does Your Business Card Say about You?
Connecting Effectively with Other People
Developing Your Business Networking Skills
Treating Your Life Like a Business

CHAPTER 8: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
Staging - Creating the Best Environment for Your Performance
Finding a Comfortable Home Base for Networking
The Power of the One-on-One
Meeting All the CEOs
Why I Like Coffee Shops

CHAPTER 9: ORGANIZATION
Handling Business Card Overload
Leaving Your Mark
Card Filing and Filing the Cards
Movin' on Up
Getting on the List
Networking Gold - Your List
Where Is That Card?
Should I Put That in a Database?
Respect That List
The A-List and the B-List

CHAPTER 10: YOUR COMMUNICATION TOOLBOX
Managing Your Network
Staying in Touch

CHAPTER 11: TIPS FOR BEING A MASTER NETWORKER
You Are a Goodwill Ambassador
It Is Who You Know
Party Mentality - Working the Room Like an Extrovert
Friends and Contacts

CHAPTER 12: GETTING AWAY
The Road Less Traveled

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