Choose to be Happily Married: How Everyday Decisions Can Lead to Lasting Love
From the introduction:
"Now for full disclosure, sometimes I do not make the noble choice . . . [and] I know when I fail to expend the energy needed to make a conscious decision that it takes a toll on my relationship. Here's where this book becomes a gift. Because once we understand the natural laws of sustaining love, we can take control of our actions instead of flailing about, helpless in the face of our basest emotions or leftover childhood trauma. With each choice, we can thoughtfully clear the way for a lifetime of love."

Dr. Bonnie Jacobson, author and psychologist of nearly forty years, knows that no couple is perfect and in Choose to Be Happily Married, this is the first and foremost truth. The second is that every couple has the ability to experience true and lasting happiness, within that imperfect—real life—love. Structured around twenty-five everyday Turning Points, with anecdotal case studies supporting each one, this unique couples' therapy tool inspires and informs readers better than any costly session with a marriage counselor could.
"1111522942"
Choose to be Happily Married: How Everyday Decisions Can Lead to Lasting Love
From the introduction:
"Now for full disclosure, sometimes I do not make the noble choice . . . [and] I know when I fail to expend the energy needed to make a conscious decision that it takes a toll on my relationship. Here's where this book becomes a gift. Because once we understand the natural laws of sustaining love, we can take control of our actions instead of flailing about, helpless in the face of our basest emotions or leftover childhood trauma. With each choice, we can thoughtfully clear the way for a lifetime of love."

Dr. Bonnie Jacobson, author and psychologist of nearly forty years, knows that no couple is perfect and in Choose to Be Happily Married, this is the first and foremost truth. The second is that every couple has the ability to experience true and lasting happiness, within that imperfect—real life—love. Structured around twenty-five everyday Turning Points, with anecdotal case studies supporting each one, this unique couples' therapy tool inspires and informs readers better than any costly session with a marriage counselor could.
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Choose to be Happily Married: How Everyday Decisions Can Lead to Lasting Love

Choose to be Happily Married: How Everyday Decisions Can Lead to Lasting Love

by Bonnie Jacobson PhD, Alexia Paul
Choose to be Happily Married: How Everyday Decisions Can Lead to Lasting Love

Choose to be Happily Married: How Everyday Decisions Can Lead to Lasting Love

by Bonnie Jacobson PhD, Alexia Paul

eBook

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Overview

From the introduction:
"Now for full disclosure, sometimes I do not make the noble choice . . . [and] I know when I fail to expend the energy needed to make a conscious decision that it takes a toll on my relationship. Here's where this book becomes a gift. Because once we understand the natural laws of sustaining love, we can take control of our actions instead of flailing about, helpless in the face of our basest emotions or leftover childhood trauma. With each choice, we can thoughtfully clear the way for a lifetime of love."

Dr. Bonnie Jacobson, author and psychologist of nearly forty years, knows that no couple is perfect and in Choose to Be Happily Married, this is the first and foremost truth. The second is that every couple has the ability to experience true and lasting happiness, within that imperfect—real life—love. Structured around twenty-five everyday Turning Points, with anecdotal case studies supporting each one, this unique couples' therapy tool inspires and informs readers better than any costly session with a marriage counselor could.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781440507045
Publisher: Adams Media
Publication date: 04/18/2010
Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format: eBook
Pages: 256
File size: 266 KB

About the Author

An Adams Media author.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Preface xi

Introduction xiii

Part I Flexibility

Chapter 1 Responsive versus Reactive 3

Choosing to Be Receptive in a Moment of Stress

Chapter 2 Good Judgment versus Critical Judgment 13

Making Room for Another's Beliefs

Chapter 3 Expressing Your True Self versus Conforming to a Role 21

Being Yourself Even as Roles Shift

Chapter 4 Autonomy versus Isolation 29

Standing Up for Yourself Without Isolating Your Partner

Chapter 5 Surrender versus Submission 37

Learning to Yield Without Losing Yourself

Chapter 6 Establishing Space versus Neglect 45

Balancing Your and Your Partner's Space Needs

Chapter 7 Patience versus Passivity 53

Maintaining an Enduring Stance

Chapter 8 Benign Boundaries versus Emotional Tyranny 61

Establishing Borders That Build Connections

Chapter 9 Awareness of Limits versus Emotional Recklessness 69

Embracing the Power of Self-Control

Chapter 10 Embracing Change versus Preserving the Status Quo 77

Being Flexible in the Face of Change

Part II Communication

Chapter 11 Talking Responsibility versus Blame 87

Owning Your Part of the Problem

Chapter 12 Needs versus Wants 95

Knowing What You Require to Be Satisfied

Chapter 13 Detach versus Withdraw 103

The Art of "Getting Across the Street"

Chapter 14 Speaking Up versus Silence 111

Share Your Thoughts, Share Yourself

Chapter 15 Giving the Benefit of the Doubt versus Making Assumptions 119

The Danger of Jumping to Conclusions

Chapter 16 Intimate Listening versus Hearing 127

Listening with an Open Heart

Chapter 17 Influence versus Control 135

Taking the Long View of Change

Chapter 18 Constructive Criticism versus Destructive Criticism 143

Learning to Give Compassionate Feedback

Part III Personal Power

Chapter 19 Deciding versus Craving 155

Deciding What is and What isn't Worth Having

Chapter 20 Fighting Fair versus Fighting Unfair 163

Defining a Fair Fight

Chapter 21 Support versus Protection 171

Establishing an Empowering Stance

Chapter 22 Forgiving versus Forgetting 179

The Boomerang Impact of Forgiveness

Chapter 23 Good Selfish versus Bad Selfish 187

When Taking Care of Yourself is Generous

Chapter 24 Family Loyalty versus Self-Interest 195

The Downside of Attachment

Chapter 25 Joy versus Happiness 203

Embracing What Lasts

Appendix: The Emotional Turning Point Test 211

References 229

Index 234

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