Paula is not quite four-years-old. She insists that "Penny," her imaginary girlfriend, talks to her every night. Paula's parents are alarmed because their daughter truly seems to believe in what she is saying.
Johnny is eight years of age. His mother reports that she often overhears him tell his friends lies about where his father works and things his father promised to do with him and for him. Johnny's parents were never married and he has never met his father.
Freddy is age 13. He recently was caught stealing and has a history of fighting at school. According to his mother, Johnny lies constantly. Not only does he lie to avoid punishment, his mother thinks he lies for no apparent reason. Freddy's mother is very concerned about this behavior but his father thinks it is "just a phase" that all boys go through. The parents disagree about disciplining Freddy.
All three of these children have lied, each for his or her own reason. Paula's lie may be the result of a vivid imagination that is too immature to distinguish between fact and fiction. Johnny's lie is a fantasy that he wishes were true. Freddy is a "delinquent liar" and is probably fully aware of what he is doing. All three of these children may benefit from psychological intervention, especially Freddy and Johnny, before their lying behavior grows worse or they develop other inappropriate behaviors.
Parents and teachers want their children and students to be honest. In fact, both parents and teachers rank honesty as the most desirable characteristic they wish to see in their children and students. Furthermore, childhood lying is the characteristic least liked by parents and teachers.
Most children "bend the truth" at some point in their development. For example, many parents have heard their very young child describe a make-believe friend or caught a child fibbing to avoid punishment. However, when these behaviors extend into middle childhood, or occur frequently, parents should be concerned. Frequent lying in children is likely to create hostility, mistrust and feelings of betrayal in parents, causing potential problems in the parent/child relationship. Parents also often fear that this behavior may be symptomatic or a more serious problem. This publication explores the many aspects of lying in childhood.
