Children of Hoarders: How to Minimize Conflict, Reduce the Clutter, and Improve Your Relationship

by Fugen Neziroglu PhD, ABBP, ABPP, Katharine Donnelly PhD

Overview

Growing up with a hoarder can be a confusing, painful, and sometimes dangerous experience. And when it comes to finding help for a hoarder parent, many adult children find themselves taking on the exhausting role of caretaker. As the child of a hoarder, you may be wondering what resources are available to you.

Written by nationally recognized obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) expert Fugen Neziroglu, a regular on the popular TLC television series, Hoarders, Children of Hoarders explores strategies for communicating with hoarder parents and outlines practical intervention skills. In addition, the book shows readers how to let go of the personal shame and guilt associated with being the child of a hoarder.

Using mindfulness, acceptance, assertiveness and validation skills, this is the first book written specifically for adult children of hoarders that focuses on the interpersonal effects of hoarding. Inside, you will learn to communicate with your loved ones in a way that minimizes conflict, while still dealing with the logistical and organizational issues that arise when living with or witnessing hoarding behavior. The book also includes tips for reclaiming living space, strategies for ensuring that the health and safety of residents is not compromised by the hoarder’s living conditions, and organizational tactics for sorting through the clutter after the death of a parent who hoards.

As the child of a hoarder, sometimes it can be helpful to know that you are not alone. In Children of Hoarders, you will get the support that you need to deal with your hoarder parent, and reclaim your own life in the process.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781608824403
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	11/01/2013
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	200
File size:	472 KB

About the Author

Fugen Neziroglu, PhD, ABBP, ABPP, is a board-certified cognitive and behavior psychologist and leading researcher on anxiety disorders. She is the director at the Bio Behavioral Institute in Great Neck, NY; professor at Hofstra University; clinical professor of psychiatry at New York University; and coauthor of Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding. She has appeared numerous times on the TLC television series, Hoarders.
 
Katharine Donnelly, PhD, is a behavior therapist at the Bio Behavioral Institute in Great Neck, NY. Her areas of interest include behavioral and acceptance-oriented therapies and obsessive-compulsive spectrum behaviors. She is also coauthor of Overcoming Depersonalization Disorder, another collaboration with Fugen Neziroglu.

Fugen Neziroglu, PhD,  ABBP, ABPP, is a board-certified cognitive and behavior psychologist and leading researcher in the treatment of anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive spectrum disorders, trichotillomania, hoarding, body dysmorphic disorder and hypochondriasis at the Bio Behavioral Institute in Great Neck, NY, where she serves as director. She is also the coauthor of Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding, When Your Child is Cutting, and has been featured on the TLC show, Hoarders. Her books have been translated to various languages.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments v

Introduction: Children of Hoarders 1

1 Understanding Hoarding: The Problem Underlying the Mess 9

2 How Your Parent's Hoarding Affects You 29

3 Talking to Your Parent about the Problem: What Works and What Does Not 47

4 Managing Your Reactions and Coping with Your Emotions: A Mindfulness- and Acceptance-Oriented Approach 67

5 Tools for Coping Specifically with Anger, Depression, and Disgust 91

6 Improving Your Relationship with Your Parent 109

7 Talking to Others about the Problem 129

8 If You Live with Your Parent 143

9 Potential Adversaries and Allies in the Community 157

10 Inheriting the Mess: How to Tackle Cleaning Up When Mourning the Loss of Your Parent 169

Resources 183

References 187

Interviews

Fugen Neziroglu lives in Great Neck, NY. Katherine Donnelly lives in Williston Park, NY.

Editorial Reviews

“Children of Hoarders provides a clear and thoughtful path out of the pain, terror, and shame of loving a parent who hoards. Filled with practical suggestions to manage a multitude of problems that plague adult children with a parent who hoards, readers are certain to visit and revisit this resource and pass it on to other family members who are looking for a way to help someone they love who hoards and, as importantly, to help themselves.”
—Michael A. Tompkins, PhD, cofounder of the San Francisco Bay Area Center for Cognitive Therapy; clinical professor at the University of California, Berkeley; and author of Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive Acquiring
 



“If you are growing up in fear of your doorbell ringing because your parent is a hoarder, then this book is for you. Children of hoarders need support as much as any other group struggling with an addicted family member.”
—Amy Doyle, supervising producer of seasons one and two of TLC’s Hoarding: Buried Alive




“Written by experts in the field of hoarding research, this information-packed manual for children of hoarders offers helpful strategies for minimizing the suffering that naturally accompanies watching someone you love suffer, as well as fascinating explanations for the roots of hoarding behavior. As a child of a hoarder, I highly recommend it.”
—Jessie Sholl, author of Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding

From the Publisher