Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life

by Kate James

Overview

Many of us experience feelings of being stuck in the wrong life and disconnected from our true selves.

Australian mindfulness expert and bestselling author Kate James has coached thousands of clients in similar situations.

Now, Kate introduces us to a range of techniques, based on her knowledge of mindfulness, positive psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), creativity and neuropsychology, that will help us clarify our goals, realise our purpose and connect more fully with the wonder of life.

Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life will help you to:
- get to know yourself well
- overcome the thoughts and beliefs that inhibit inner peace and limit you in your life choices
- find your way to your version of a fulfilling life

This is the perfect companion for negotiating transformation in an unsettled age.

Praise for Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life

'Kate James is such an honest, warm and generous teacher. Read this book and you'll be learning from one of the very best.' Clare Bowditch

'Kate's writing is immensely practical. Rich with compassiona nd insight from her many years as a therapist, her books always offer life-enhancing tools that may be applied right away. Transformational wisdom at its best!' David Michie, author of Hurry Up and Meditate

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781760984816
Publisher:	Pan Macmillan Australia
Publication date:	01/27/2021
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	300
File size:	965 KB

About the Author

As a sought-after mindfulness expert, with over 30 years of meditation practice, Australian life coach and mindfulness expert Kate James helps her clients focus on what really matters. Kate facilitates workshops and retreats online, in Melbourne and Byron Bay and continues her own studies into positive psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness and self-compassion. Her teaching draws on the science and psychology of meditation and her aim is to make mindfulness accessible and enjoyable for people from all walks of life.

Kate James is uniquely qualified to help people with important life issues like building confidence, finding purpose and clarifying personal strengths, values and needs.

Kate has first-hand experience of the life balance challenge, having spent the past 32 years juggling marriage, motherhood and a successful career.

Kate is the author of author of five bestselling personal development books including Be Mindful and Simplify Your Life and Create Calm. Her guided meditations have been listened to over three million times on the free Insight Timer meditation app.

As a sought-after mindfulness expert, with over 30 years of meditation practice, Australian life coach and mindfulness expert Kate James helps her clients focus on what really matters. Kate facilitates workshops and retreats online, in Melbourne and Byron Bay and continues her own studies into positive psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness and self-compassion. Her teaching draws on the science and psychology of meditation and her aim is to make mindfulness accessible and enjoyable for people from all walks of life. She is the author of five books, Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life, Believe in Yourself, Be Mindful, Change How You Think and Create Calm.

Praise for Kate James
'Kate James is such an honest, warm and generous teacher. Read this book and you'll be learning from one of the very best.' Clare Bowditch, author of Your Own Kind of Girl

'Kate's writing is immensely practical. Rich with compassion and insight from her many years as a therapist, her books always offer life-enhancing tools that may be applied right away. Transformational wisdom at its best!' David Michie, author of Hurry Up and Meditate

Read an Excerpt

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Many life coaching clients come to me because they’re wanting to overcome imposter syndrome. The first step is learning to identify your imposter type and once you’ve done that, learning to change the way you interact with yourself.

If you’ve ever minimised your accomplishments and considered them to have been the result of luck rather than competence, or if you’ve ever had to fight the persistent fear that you’re a fraud who’s going to be uncovered at any second, then you’ve experienced imposter syndrome.

Dr Valerie Young, internationally-known expert on how to overcome imposter syndrome and author of award-winning book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It has spent decades studying these feelings.

She notes that in high achievers, imposter syndrome is the tendency we have to ‘discount or diminish obvious evidence of our abilities’. Dr Young has categorised five different types of people who suffer from imposter syndrome.

What’s your imposter syndrome style?

The first type is the Perfectionist, whose focus is on how something is done. Perfectionists set unrealistic standards for how something should turn out, and they believe failing to meet those standards is confirmation that they don’t belong.

The second type, the Expert, is like the Perfectionist, but their main concern is around what they know. They expect themselves to know ‘everything’ about the arena in which they are operating. Anything that exposes that they don’t know ‘everything’ leads to a sense of failure and shame.

The Soloist is the third type. They are focused on the who. In order to feel worthy of an achievement or accolade, they need to have done it all by themselves. They believe if they require help, then they’re not deserving.

The fourth type in Young’s categorisations is the Natural Genius, who cares deeply about how and when accomplishments occur. If it takes more than one attempt for them to master a skill, or deliver an outcome, they feel a deep sense of failure and shame.

And then there is the Superwoman/Superman/Super Student. These people measure their competence on how many roles they can excel at. If they are shining at work but falling short as a parent, they feel like a fraud. These people feel they should be exceptional at every role in their life all at the same time.

You are not alone

No matter which of these types you are, (and you may be more than one or even have aspects of all three) you’re not alone.

It’s been estimated that over 70 per cent of people will experience imposter syndrome at some time in their lives and the irony is that people who feel like imposters are usually anything but. They’re more often than not the highest achievers.

In order to overcome imposter syndrome, you need to stop thinking like an imposter. Start to recognise the thoughts that trigger you specifically. This will help you understand which of the five categories you best fit into, making it easier to catch imposter syndrome when it rears its head.

Reframing your imposter mindset

Once you have this awareness, try to set the bar of ‘competence’ at a more realistic level and reframe your self-critical thoughts. Over time, you’ll find that thinking differently will help you overcome imposter syndrome and choose behaviours that are more likely to boost your confidence.

• Remind yourself that non-imposters seek constant improvement, not because they see themselves as flawed but because they see the benefits of continued learning.
• Start to view constructive criticism as an opportunity to improve, rather than proof of your defectiveness.
• Remember that mastering a new skill takes time. Not being good at something initially doesn’t mean you’re inept – it simply means you need more practice.
• Keep in mind that no matter how good you are, no one does everything perfectly all the time. It’s okay to have setbacks and to make mistakes. It’s how you respond to them that counts.
• Also, remember that it’s okay to not know the answer to some questions.
• Not feeling confident about a certain task doesn’t mean you lack confidence overall. It only means you’re not confident in this one area (and maybe you don’t need to be).
• When you do have a setback, make a mistake or experience embarrassment, use mindfulness and self-compassion as you allow for your disappointment.

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Part 1 Connect with your true self 1

1 Finding your true self 3

2 Your life story 10

3 What are your needs? 16

4 Identify your values 22

5 Discover your strengths 33

6 Uncover your patterns of thinking 42

7 Your best possible self 50

8 A vision for your ideal life 59

9 What gives your life meaning? 71

10 Side-step your excuses 79

Part 2 Change your life 85

11 Change your thinking 87

12 Learn to be mindful 98

13 Practise self-compassion 115

14 Make room for your difficult thoughts and feelings 125

15 Overcome your irrational beliefs 135

16 Reframe your negative thinking 145

17 Choose the right mindset 155

18 Boost your optimism 164

19 Quieten your inner critic 173

20 Overcome imposter syndrome 186

21 Create possibility 194

22 Make it a habit 200

23 Give up self-sabotage 208

24 Build your resilience 216

25 Trust your intuition 223

26 Face your fears 229

27 Find your tribe 235

28 Practise forgiveness 241

29 Did you choose the right dream? 248

30 Make your life beautiful now 256

References 263

Text acknowledgements 267

Acknowledgements 269