Celebrity Sadhana: Or How to Meditate With a Hammer

by Vijay R. Nathan

Overview

Celebrity Sadhana, Or How to Meditate with a Hammer is a series of poems aimed to imagine meditative moments from the 'sadhana', spiritual practice, of Hollywood's elite. Building on the wisdom traditions of the East to bring the hammer down on complacent notions about what it means to be spiritual in today's world. The author's previous work includes: Escape from Samsara, a collection of free-verse poems, that Kirkus Review found " genuine and compelling, blending spiritual questioning with an engaging humor and using language that is by turns down-to-earth and lushly suggestive" .

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781543944396
Publisher:	BookBaby
Publication date:	10/01/2018
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	60
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Vijay R. Nathan, aka the Paparazzo Poet, is a avid follower of celebrity stories and enjoys watching big budget popcorn movies. He has been studying Buddhist philosophy for the past decade and has traveled the world from Tibetan monasteries in northern India to Theravada wats of Thailand and received Buddhist teachings in Ulverston, United Kingdom. He is the host of the web series "The Truth to Power Show" on Radio Free Brooklyn.

Table of Contents

I Pathways to the Breeze

The celebrity sadhana you can't miss 1

That special kind of crazy 2

Natalie Portman recites 'he will not divide us' 3

They walk the line 4

Joaquin Phoenix receives an amber alert 5

A cool breeze over the mountains 7

The supernova seduction plan 9

A Shia Labeouf dream 11

Jodie Foster & Sacha Baron Cohen consume incredible edibles 12

Buddha Tara emanates to Joaquin Phoenix 15

II The Veil Between

The celebrity renunciation you won't believe 19

Sacha Baron Cohen on the rocks 20

A Joaquin Phoenix dream 21

The many faces of Winona Ryder 23

Sacha Baron Cohen Performs as Divine Madman Drukpa Kunley 25

Joaquin Phoenix searches for 'Satori' 27

A Winona Ryder Dream 28

The divine madman returns 30

Natalie Portman listens to Tori Amos 31

Somewhere in the Mojave 32

Shia Labeouf listens to Radiohead 34

III How to Meditate with a Hammer

The Celebrity Confrontation That Will Shock You 37

Somewhere in the Mojave 39

The Natalie Portman body poem 40

Somewhere in the Mojave 41

Flowers on the wall 42

Glimpses of Winona Ryder's ass 43

The hammer speaks 44

Jodie Foster in the rye 46

Shia Labeouf feeds stray dogs 48

Editorial Reviews

2020-04-03
Hollywood stars seek enlightenment in this volume of poetry.

Sadhana is a yogic term for “a means of accomplishing something.” In this collection, Nathan imagines the sadhana of various Hollywood celebrities with his tongue very much in cheek. Natalie Portman admires the quirkiness of Winona Ryder: “Winona is the kind of crazy that Natalie will love / even after she drinks all her beer / & wrecks her truck.” Shia LaBeouf takes inspiration form Joaquin Phoenix’s esoteric performance art: “Shia remembers / that time when everyone thought / Joaquin went AWOL from / acting & became a rapper. / Shia is a bona fide fashion icon / & Joaquin has rounded up the actor- / artist’s finest ’fits to prove it.” Jeff Bridges encounters Keanu Reeves eating a sandwich: “Now, let’s just permit / this fear to engulf us for a moment / & not do our normal thing,” the grizzled actor tells the famously serene one. Jodie Foster and Sasha Baron Cohen discuss ancient Buddhist masters: Baron Cohen’s “joke is to show Jodie / a doughnut, eat it, tell her where / it’s been, then reveal / that it wasn’t a doughnut.” These celebrities search for wisdom in one another, music, isolation, and snippets of Eastern philosophical traditions that they may or may not completely understand. (Baron Cohen discusses the 15th-century monk Drukpa Kunley in his Borat voice: “When will I have big penis like / this Bhutanese poet yogi?”) Are these stars any closer to understanding than the rest of humanity? Are they further away?Nathan proves himself a versatile poet, switching registers between the comic and the serious as well as impersonating different voices. Several poems are written from the perspective of a TMZ–like entertainment news service, which is just as interested in celebrities’ spiritual pursuits as it is in whatever else they do: “You may not have heard, but / our sources tell us Joaquin Phoenix, the star / of Gladiator, aged 42, prepares / to spend the next year on retreat / in a cave. / We were like, ‘OMG / WHAT?’ / Phoenix renounces / his Hollywood lifestyle in favor / of an underground chamber / in the Mojave Desert where / he expects to achieve complete & total / enlightenment.” The author also summons the aesthetics of various filmmakers in poems like “A Shia LaBeouf Dream (dir. Terrence Malick)” and “A Winona Ryder Dream (dir. Tim Burton).” The poems are narratives and very much flow one into the next, with the same cast of actors reappearing and comingling. Nathan is skilled at crafting a succinct, evocative image. He describes Bridges as “a man who fits / perfectly into the clothes / of passing strangers.” LaBeouf’s sex dream includes the lines “Hands tighten around the shaft / as minds pronk off / to starlit savannas.” But the most impressive aspect of the collection is that it transcends its gimmicky conceit to challenge readers to engage sincerely with the notion of enlightenment. By the end of the volume, neither the audience nor the poet is condescending to LaBeouf or Ryder. Instead, all are acclimated to the reality that they are all blindly searching, all absurdly lost.

A deftly composed collection of poems on the struggle to find meaning in modern life.

Kirkus Reviews