Table of Contents
Foreword xi
Introduction xiii
Section 1 Two In Deep 1
Chapter 1 Hold On to the Foundations of Your Relationship 3
Happy, Loving Couple 3
Chapter 2 Dealing with Heavy News 7
Brain Stem Lesion 7
Telling Your Family and Friends 7
Short-Term vs. Long-Term Conditions 9
Chapter 3 Dealing with Daily Challenges 13
Loss of Mobility and the Dreaded Wheelchair 13
Developing My Feminine Side 15
Chapter 4 Why Me? And the Blame Game 17
Chapter 5 Take Stock of Your Ship 21
How's Your Ship? 22
Assess the Mental Health of Your Team 24
Children's Needs 25
Assess Your Own Health 26
Manage Caregiver Stress 28
Chapter 6 Caregiver Mental Health Breaks 31
Caregiver Escapes 32
Escape into Nature 34
Go to Your Village 35
Chapter 7 Counseling 39
Taking Care of Yourself 40
Value What You Provide 40
Chapter 8 Take Stock of Your Finances 43
Finances-Or the Money Pit 43
Use Your Caregiving Dollars Wisely 44
Pick Your Priorities 45
Seek Professional Advice 46
Chapter 9 Seek Ways to Adapt and Still Enjoy Life 47
Carve Your Joy Niche 49
Keep It Light 49
Entertainment 50
Exercise 52
Cycling System 53
Help Care Recipient Keep a Favorite Activity 54
Travel Strategies and Fabio 56
Chapter 10 Mental Health and Staying Sane 59
Ignore and Distract 61
Staying Sane 62
Chapter 11 The Social Aspect 65
Visitors: The Good, the Bad, and the Clueless 66
Kindred Spirit-Louie Zamperini 67
Chapter 12 Chasing Rainbows 69
Dead Man Surfing 69
Israeli Dream 71
Quacks 'R' Us 73
Chapter 13 Frustration and Loss 75
Six-Day War, 2012 76
Bub and Lovie Sitcom, 2015 77
Section 2 Basic Tasks 81
Chapter 14 Gut Check and the Daily Challenge 83
Trust Your Instincts 84
Feeding 85
Sleeping 86
Bathroom and Beyond 89
Public Bathrooms 92
Bathing 93
Transfers 96
Chapter 15 Medications and Marijuana 99
Avoid Problems with Pills 100
Section 3 Reach Out For Help 103
Chapter 16 Seek Expert Help and Advice 105
Seek Financial Advice 105
Seek Legal Advice 106
Public Benefits 106
Services for Veterans 106
Community Services 107
Adult Day Care 108
Medicare In-Home Part-Time Nursing or Rehabilitative Care 109
Community Care Services 110
Hospice and Medicare 110
Family and Medical Leave Act 111
Insurance 111
Free or Discounted Services for Seniors or Caregivers 112
Chapter 17 Nurses and Helpers 117
Live-In Help at Care Recipient's Home 117
Suggestions for Employing Live-In Help 117
Considering Applicants 118
Interview 118
Checking References 119
Physical Help at Home 120
Hiring Help 120
Privacy 121
Help from Family 122
Chapter 18 Doctors 125
Dealing with Doctors 127
Choosing a Doctor 128
Doctor's Visits 129
Chapter 19 Fight for Your Rights and Causes 131
Section 4 Grieve and Then Create New Dreams 133
Chapter 20 Love, Loss, and Lessons Learned 135
Chapter 21 Caregiving, A Daughter's Perspective, Kera Yonover 137
Index 141