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| ISBN-13: | 9781847775788 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Carcanet Press, Limited |
| Publication date: | 06/01/2013 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 364 |
| File size: | 6 MB |
About the Author
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John Clare By Himself
By Eric Robinson, David Powell
Carcanet Press Ltd
Copyright © 2002 Eric Robinson and David PowellAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-84777-578-8
CHAPTER 1
SKETCHES IN THE LIFE OF JOHN CLARE
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF AND ADDRESSED TO HIS FRIEND JOHN TAYLOR ESQR MARCH 1821
There is a pleasure in recalling ones past years to reccollection; in this I believe every bosoms agrees and returns a ready echo of approbation and I think a double gratifycation is witness'd as we turn to a repetition of our early days by writing them down on paper on this head my own approbation must shelter its vanity while thus employ'd, by consieting self-satisfaction a sufficient appology. But I am carless of praise and fearless of censure in the business, my only wish being to give a friend pleasure in its perusal for whom and by whose request it is written and as I have little doubt of being able to accomplish that matter those who (strangers to the writer) that it displeases need not be startled at the dissapointment
I was born July 13, 1793 at Helpstone, a gloomy village in Northamptonshire, on the brink of the Lincolnshire fens; my mothers maiden name was Stimson, a native of Caistor, a neighboring village, whose father was a town shepherd as they are calld, who has the care of all the flocks of the village my father was one of fates chance-lings who drop into the world without the honour of matrimony he took the surname of his mother, who to commemorate the memory of a worthless father with more tenderness of love lorn feeling than he doubtless deservd, gave him his sirname at his christening, who was a Scotchman by birth and a schoolmaster by profession and in his stay at this and the neighboring villages went by the Name of John Donald Parker this I had from John Cue of Ufford, an old man who in his young days was a companion and confidential to my run-a-gate of a grandfather, for he left the village and my grandmother soon after the deplorable accident of misplaced love was revealed to him, but her love was not that frenzy which shortens the days of the victim of seduction, for she liv'd to the age of 86 and left this world of troubles Jan. 1. 1820. Both my parents was illiterate to the last degree my mother knew not a single letter and superstition went so far with her that she beleved the higher parts of learing was the blackest arts of witchcraft and that no other means coud attain them my father coud read a little in a bible or testament and was very fond of the supersti[ti]ous tales that are hawked about a sheet for a penny, such as old Nixons Prophesies, Mother Bunches Fairey Tales, and Mother Shiptons Legacy etc etc he was likewise fond of Ballads and I have heard him make a boast of it over his horn of ale with his merry companions at the Blue bell public house which was next door that he coud sing or recite above a hundred he had a tollerable good voice and was often calld upon to sing at those convivials of bacchanalian merry makings in my early years I was of a waukly constitution, so much so that my mother often told me she never coud have dreamd I shoud live to make a man, while the sister that was born with me being a twin was as much to the contrary a fine livley bonny wench whose turn it was to die first for she livd but a few weeks, proving the old saying for once mistaken 'that the weakest always goeth to the wall.' As my parents had the good fate to have but a small family, I being the eldest of 4, two of whom dyed in their Infancy my mothers hopfull ambition ran high of being able to make me a good scholar, as she said she expirenced enough in her own case to avoid bringing up her childern in ignorance, but god help her, her hopful and tender kindness was often crossd with difficultys, for there was often enough to do to keep cart upon wheels, as the saying is, without incuring an extra expence of putting me to school, though she never lost the oppertunity when she was able to send me, nor woud my father interfere till downright nessesity from poverty forced him to check her kind intentions; for he was a tender father to his childern, and I have every reason to turn to their memorys with the warmest feelings of gratitude and satisfaction, and if doing well to their childern be an addition to rightousness I am certain god cannot forget to bless them with a portion of felicity in the other world, when souls are called to judgment and receive the reward due to their actions commited below. In cases of extreeme poverty my father took me to labour with him and made me a light flail for threshing, learing me betimes the hardship which adam and Eve inflicted on their childern by their inexperienced misdeeds, incuring the perpetual curse from god of labouring for a livlihood, which the teeming earth is said to have produced of itself before, but use is second nature, at least it learns us patience I resignd myself willingly to the hardest toils and tho one of the weakest was stubbor[n] and stomachful and never flinched from the roughest labour by that means I always secured the favour of my masters and escaped the ignominy that brands the name of idleness my character was always 'weak but willing'. I believe I was not older then 10 when my father took me to seek the scanty rewards of industry Winter was generally my season of imprisonment in the dusty barn Spring and Summer my assistance was wanted elswere in tending sheep or horses in the fields or scaring birds from the grain or weeding it, which was a delightfull employment, as the old womens memorys never faild of tales to smoothen our labour, for as every day came new Jiants, Hobgobblins, and faireys was ready to pass it away as to my schooling, I think never a year passd me till I was 11 or 12 but 3 months or more at the worst of times was luckily spared for my improvment, first with an old woman in the village and latterly with a master at a distance from it here soon as I began to learn to write, the readiness of the Boys always practising urgd and prompted my ambition to make the best use of my abscence from school, as well as at it, and my master was always supprisd to find me improved every fresh visit, instead of having lost what I had learned before for which to my benefit he never faild to give me tokens of encouragment never a leisure hour pass'd me with out making use of it every winter night our once unletterd hut was wonderfully changd in its appearence to a school room the old table, which old as it was doubtless never was honourd with higher employment all its days then the convenience of bearing at meal times the luxury of a barley loaf or dish of potatoes, was now coverd with the rude begg[in]ings of scientifical requ[i]sitions, pens, ink, and paper one hour, jobbling the pen at sheep hooks and tarbottles, and another trying on a slate a knotty question in Numeration, or Pounds, Shillings, and Pence, at which times my parents triumphant anxiety was pleasingly experiencd, for my mother woud often stop her wheel or look off from her work to urge with a smile of the warmest rapture in my fathers face her prophesy of my success, saying 'shed be bound, I shoud one day be able to reward them with my pen, for the trouble they had taken in giveing me schooling', and I have to return hearty thanks to a kind providence in bringing her prophesy to pass and giving me the pleasure of being able to stay the storm of poverty and smoothen their latter days; and as a recompense for the rough beginnings of life bid their tottering steps decline in peacful tranquility to their long home, the grave, here my highest ambition was gratifyd for my greatest wish was to let my parents see a printed copy of my poems that pleasure I have witness'd and they have moreover livd to see with astonishment and joy their humble offspring noticed by thousands of friends and among them names of the greatest distinction, the flower and honour of his native country surely it is a thrilling pleasure to hear a crippled father seated in his easy arm chair comparing the past with the present, saying 'Boy who coud have thought, when we was threshing together some years back, thou woudst be thus noticed and be enabled to make us all thus happy.' About this time, which my fathers bursts of feeling aludes too, I began to wean off from my companions and sholl about the woods and fields on Sundays alone conjectures filld the village about my future destinations on the stage of life, some fanc[y]ing it symtoms of lunacy and that my mothers prophecys woud be verified to her sorrow and that my reading of books (they woud jeeringly say) was for no other improvment then quallyfiing an idiot for a workhouse, for at this time my taste and pasion for reading began to be furious and I never sholld out on a Sabbath day but some scrap or other was pocketed for my amusment I deeply regret usefull books was out of my reach, for as I was always shy and reserved I never woud own to my more learned neighbours that I was fond of books, otherwise then the bible and Prayer Book, the prophetical parts of the former, with the fine hebrew Poem of Job, and the prayers and simple translation of the Psalms in the latter was such favourite readings with me that I coud recite abundance of passages by heart I am sorry to find the knowledge of other books shoud diminish the delight ones childhood experiences in our first perusal of those divine writings. I must digress to say that I think the manner of learing childern in village schools very erronious, that is soon as they learn their letters to task them with lessons from the bible and testament and keeping them dinging at them, without any change, till they leave it A dull boy never turns with pleasures to his school days when he has often been beat 4 times for bad readings in 5 verses of Scripture, no more then a Man in renewd prosperity to the time when he was a debtor in a Jail Other books as they grow up become a novelty and their task book at school, the Bible, looses its relish the painful task of learning wearied the memory irksome inconvenience never prompts reccolection the bible is laid by on its peacful shelf and by 9 Cottages out of 10 never disturb'd or turnd too further then the minutes referance for reciting the text on a Sunday, a task which most christians nowadays think a sufficient duty at least in the lower orders I cannot speak with assurance only where expirience informs me so much for village schools About now all my stock of learning was gleaned from the Sixpenny Romances of 'Cinderella', 'Little Red Riding hood', 'Jack and the bean Stalk', 'Zig Zag', 'Prince Cherry', etc etc etc and great was the pleasure, pain, or supprise increased by allowing them authenticity, for I firmly believed every page I read and considerd I possesd in these the chief learning and literature of the country But as it is common in villages to pass judgment on a lover of books as a sure indication of laziness, I was drove to the narrow nessesity of stinted oppertunitys to hide in woods and dingles of thorns in the fields on Sundays to read these things, which every sixpence thro the indefatigible savings of a penny and halfpenny when collected was willingly thrown away for them, as oppertunity offered when hawkers offerd them for sale at the door to read such things on sundays was not right while nessesity is a good apology for iniquity and ignorance is more so I knew no better and it may be said that ignorance is one of the sweetest hopes that a poor man carries to the grave, when his manhood muses oer the exclamation of his dying Saviour, asking and offering the same plea for the worst of Sinners 'Father forgive them, they know not what they do' Clergymen may say tis an enlightend age and when a man can have oppertunitys to hear good from bad every Sunday he has no longer the cloak of ignorance to skulk from iniquity as the west indian and the Cherokee digressions may become tiresome and ill grounded opinions may be reckoned consciets but, while it is pleasant to turn out of the way for a b[e]autiful blossom, tis nothing short of humanity to release the plund[er]ing fox from the snare — hopes unrealized are hopes in reality blessings possesd are hopes no longer tis the weakness and not the fault of nature to throw a cloak over its imperfections when it seeks for heaven as a better place then it posseses A staff to the maimed and a couch to the weary traveller are desirable blessings and usful to wish for as blessings thats wanted.
I have often absentet my self the whole Sunday at this time nor coud the chiming bells draw me from my hiding place to go to church, tho at night I was sure to pay for my abscence from it by a strong snubbing I at length got an higher notion of learning by going to school and every leisure minute was employ'd in drawing squares and triangles upon the dusty walls of the barn this was also my practice in learning to write I also devourd for these purposes every morsel of brown or blue paper (it matterd not which) that my mother had her tea and sugar lapt in from the shop but this was in cases of poverty when I coud not muster three farthings for a sheet of writing paper the saying of 'a little learning is a dangerous thing' is not far from fact after I left school for good (nearly as wise as I went save reading and writing) I felt an itching after every thing I now began to provide my self with books of many puzzling systems Bonnycastles Mensuration, Fennings Arithmetic, and Algebra was now my constant teachers and as I read the rules of each Problem with great care I preseverd so far as to solve many of the questions in those books my pride fancyd it self climbing the ladder of learning very rapidly, on the top of which harvests of unbounded wonders was concieved to be bursting upon me and was sufficient fire to promt my ambition, but in becoming acquainted with a neighbour, one John Turnill, who was a good mathematical scholar, I found I was not sufficient to become master of these things without better assistance as a superficial knowledge of them was next to nothing and I had no more he kindly enough put me in a plan but cirscumstances soon calld him from me and I luckily abandond the project, not without great reluctance — I was now thought fit for some other employment then th[r]eshing with my father which the neighbours said was far too hard for my weak constitution and the first step taken for my releasment from it was an application to put me apprentice to a shoemaker to a neighbour in the town, but this, on my being apprisd of it, I dislikd, for at that time I hardly knew what I liked I was such a silly, shanny boy that I dreaded leaving home were I had been coddled up so tenderly and so long and my mother was determind if I was [i.e. bound to] a trade that I shoud have my choice, far as cirscumstances woud let me, for they coud give not a sixpence with me — however my lot was not for shoe making nor did I ever repent missing it — a next door neighbour, who kept the Blue Bell public house, got me a week or two to drive plough for him, having a small cottage of 6 or 8 acres, and knowing me and my parents he usd me uncommon well his name was Francis Gregory he was a single man and lived with his Mother they both used me as well as if I was their own and after I had been there awhile I got used to them they hired me for a year, the only year I livd in hired service in my life my master was of very bad health and dyd a year or two after I left I have reason to drop a good word to his memory my friend John Turnill wrote his epitaph on his grave stone, such as it is; for he used to dabble in poetry tho I saw very little of it — Here I got into a habit of musing and muttering to ones self as pastime to divert melancholly, singing over things which I calld songs and attempting to describe scenes that struck me tis irksome to a boy to be alone and he is ready in such situations to snatch hold of any trifle to divert his loss of company and make up for pleasenter amusments, for as my master was weak and unwell he seldom went to work with me unless necessary as ploughing etc I always went by my self to weeding the grain, tending horses and such like. Once every week I had to go for a bag of flower to Maxey, a village distant about 2 Miles, as it was sold cheaper then at home and as my mistress was an economist she never lost sight of cheap pennyworths in the short days of winter its often been dark ere I got home and even by times dusk before I started I was of a very timid disposition the traditional Registers of the Village was uncommonly superstitious (Gossips and Granneys) and I had two or three haunted Spots to pass for it was impossible to go half a mile any were about the Lordship were there had nothing been said to be seen by these old women or some one else in their younger days. therefore I must in such extremitys seize the best remedy to keep such things out of my head as well as I coud, so on these journeys I mutterd over tales of my own fancy and contriving them into ryhmes as well as my abilities was able; they was always romantic wanderings of Sailors, Soldiers etc following them step by step from their starting out to their return, for I always lovd to see a tale end happy and as I had only my self to please I always contrivd that my taste shoud be suited in such matters Sometimes I was tracking my own adventures as I wishd they might be going on from the plough and flail to the easy arm chair of old age reciting armours, intrigues of meeting always good fortune and marrying Ladies etc Hope was now budding and its summer skye warmd me with thrilling extacy and tho however romantic my story might be I had always cautions, fearful enough no doubt, to keep ghosts and hobgoblings out of the question what I did was to erase them and not bring them to remembrance, tho twas impossible, for as I passd those awful places, tho I dare not look boldly up, my eye was warily on the watch, glegging under my hat at every stir of a leaf or murmur of the wind and a quaking thistle was able to make me swoon with terror
(Continues...)
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Table of Contents
Contents
Title Page,Maps,
Introduction,
Sketches in the Life of John Clare,
More Hints in the Life etc,
Autobiographical Fragments,
Appendix: Clare's Notes for his Autobiography,
John Clare's Journal,
Some Brief Observations,
Memorandums,
Clare's Will and Related Observations,
Business Dealings with Edward Drury and John Taylor,
The Will o Whisp or Jack a Lanthorn,
A Remarkable Dream,
'Closes of greensward ...',
Journey out of Essex,
Asylum Observations,
Letter to Matthew Allen, c. 27 August 1841,
Self Identity,
Autumn,
Letters and Notes of the Northampton Period,
Glossary,
Index,
About the Authors,
Copyright,