Bully-Proof Kids: Practical Tools to Help your Child Grow Up Confident Resiliant & Stron

Bully-Proof Kids: Practical Tools to Help your Child Grow Up Confident Resiliant & Stron

by Stella O'Malley
Bully-Proof Kids: Practical Tools to Help your Child Grow Up Confident Resiliant & Stron

Bully-Proof Kids: Practical Tools to Help your Child Grow Up Confident Resiliant & Stron

by Stella O'Malley


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We can't always be there to protect our kids, but we can equip them with the tools they need to ensure they have a positive social experience. Based on many years' experience counseling bullies and targets, Stella O'Malley offers concrete strategies to empower children and teenagers to deal confidently with bullying and dominant characters. Stella's common-sense approach will help your child, tween, or teen to develop their emotional intelligence and will provide relief for families navigating the rapidly changing social environment.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780717175420
Publisher: Gill Books
Publication date: 05/22/2018
Pages: 288
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.00(d)

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 Defining bullying: What is and what isn't bullying? 5

Why do some people bully? 7

Human nature and our competitive culture 9

The neuroscience of bullying 13

The difference between bullying and conflict 14

Over-protected 'cotton wool kids' 17

2 Complicated relationships: Frenemies and power plays 22

Psychosocial stages and personality types 23

Popularity and the social hierarchy 26

Relational aggression 28

The controlling friend 31

Humour and teasing 31

Frenemies and toxicity 35

Teen drama, gossip and hormones 38

3 The bully and the crew: Lions, hyenas and antelopes 44

The 'pure' bully 46

Bully or failed leader? 51

The victim-bully 54

The bully's crew 58

Nurturing the nature: good and evil 60

4 The target: Tall poppies, provocative victims and gentle souls 65

The impact of bullying 66

Why are some people targeted? 68

Tall poppy syndrome 75

The passive target 77

When targets play the clown 81

The accidental target 82

Handling difference and promoting tolerance 85

Victim-blaming and victim-shaming 87

The provocative target 90

Children who play the victim 96

From victim to survivor 104

5 The bystanders: The untapped strength of the upstanders 106

'The bystander effect' 110

Pluralistic ignorance and audience modelling 113

The diffusion of responsibility 116

Deindividuation 121

Blaming the target and blaming others 122

Bystander fear and lack of confidence 127

Dehumanising the target 129

When parents and teachers are the bystanders 131

The bystanders in Nazi Germany 134

'Be the arrow, not the target' 138

6 The bullying environment: Group cohesion and competitiveness 140

The school environment 145

Handling difference 147

Cohesion and competitiveness 149

Group identity 150

The perfect bullying environment 152

Being your child's advocate 154

What you can do 163

7 Cyberbullying: Trolls, hate mail and sextortion 165

Keyboard warriors 167

Hate mail 174

Anonymous apps 175

Check your tech 177

Sextortion and scammers 179

Protective measures 182

8 How to stop bullying: Practical tips 190

How to handle yourself 194

How to open a dialogue with your child 199

How to communicate with the school 204

How to introduce school initiatives 208

How to handle the unhelpful school 214

How to handle the bully's parents 220

How to identify the bully's motivations 225

How to develop emotional intelligence 226

How to help children adapt to their environment 233

How to deal with violent bullying 236

How to support your child during bullying 242

9 Recovering from bullying: Stronger than ever before 246

Living well is the best revenge 246

Increased inner strength 251

The gift of resilience 253

Improved emotional intelligence 253

Improved social skills and relationships 254

Increased inner confidence 254

Increased empathy and understanding 255

Increased moral engagement 257

A flexible mindset 258

Bibliotherapy and the comfort of the arts 259

Rebuilding the parent-child bond 260

Character development 262

The holistic approach 263

Resources 266

References 275

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