Preface:
This is not an Alcoholic Anonymous branch-off book. Although it was created from the blue-print that is AA. This is not a “Get your ex-back” book. Although you may end up getting back with your ex. This is not a “Learn the tricks” book. Although you may get the exact tool you needed to shift everything. And mostly this is not like every other breakup book on the market. It was written as a love letter to you.
I get you are reading this book for one of two reasons: You want to go back or you want to move forward. Of those reasons there are endless variations. Some people are feeling a sense of contrition for not being the person their significant other wanted them to be. Others are reacting to loss, fear of being lonely, or just really love the person they lost and can’t imagine life without them. I’ve been there. But, this is not about me. It is about us.
Breakup Rehab has existed in the world for four years now and through a series of miracles, it has been reborn anew. It took me two years and three breakups to write the original manuscript. Then it took another year to edit the book and birth it into the world using Amazon Create Space. After it was self-published I mostly ignored it.
Then, in a seemingly unconnected action, I wrote an article for Elephant Journal and got a response from my now book agent. Then I got a book deal with New World Library. I share all of this to say, that when I was first wrote Breakup Rehab it was from the perspective of having been freshly broken up with. And it has been years since that breakup. In the years following I’ve dated, practiced radical self-love, and dug deep into the realm of relationship.
So, reading Breakup Rehab will be a comprehensive experience that will handhold you through grieving your loss to learning the necessary steps you need to create the love you want.
I pride myself on pushing the edges of awareness and digging up perspectives that are unencumbered by tradition. That being said, we all have to start somewhere and the best place to build from is the wisdom of those who have come before us.
This book is predicated on conventional wisdom in that I preach that familiar sermon of “loving yourself first.” It follows a set of guidelines that were gleaned from the Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12 steps. The central premise of the twelve steps is to surrender to a higher power and to not skip steps. Breakup Rehab was built from the essence of the 12 steps but deviates from its format in that the steps are not identical and they esteem awareness of our choices as the premise needed to relate to a higher intelligence. Also, while the original 12 steps are intended to convert addiction into sobriety, Breakup Rehab seeks to reacquaint the individual, or half of the couple, with the absolute knowing that he or she is a powerful creator.
And I’m going to let you in on a little secret about being a powerful creator—if you don’t learn the techniques needed to acquire and maintain a healthy relationship, life is going to basically suck. In other words, maybe your breakup is an opportunity for you to break tradition and figure out what actually works for you.
That may sound stupid. But don’t stop at the edge of your understanding. Keep reading and everything will start to make sense.
The skills required to navigate contemporary life let alone relationship have to be acquired and refined through practice. There’s a lot of information to sort through with a variety of messages to subscribe to. “It is a hopeless place for the hopeless romantics”. “It is a cynical place for the cynics”. And relationship is a spiritual place for those to see beyond the veils of comparison right to the clarity of knowing we are all in this together.
Okay—my work here is done. Just kidding.
I also know if you are reading this book it is because you want epic sex; because you want to wake up next to someone who “gets you”; because you thought you had that; because you realize you didn’t but wish you did; because being single sucks; because being with the wrong person sucks; because you had a friend tell you about this book and you will try anything; because drinking isn’t working; because drinking is working too well; because you lost yourself and want to find yourself; because you’re tired of dating apps; because you didn’t know you could hurt like this and you want it to stop; because you want to get back out there; because you “want them back”; because the internet doesn’t have the answers on this one; because you don’t know what to do.
So, while the most complete thought we can think is “we are all in this together” the last thing in the world we want to feel is that we aren’t. There is a story of two horses that can pull more weight in tandem than they can alone. That is to say, that we can do more together when in harmony with one another than we can do alone. Conversely, when you are “unequally yoked”, as it states in the Bible, one person ends up pulling more weight than the other. Simply, being in this together does not mean that you don’t feel alone.
I’ve been there in every capacity from madly in love, to chronically single, to experimenting with being a slut, to celibacy, and to infinity and beyond. And I’ve brought back a gift from my journeys—the twelve steps of Breakup Rehab.
This is the definitive guide to getting your life on track and learning to love without limits. Turn the page and begin your journey now.
