★ 03/28/2022
In this raw and captivating debut, journalist Bond chronicles her volatile descent into a benzodiazepine addiction. During her pregnancy with her second child, Chloe, Bond developed extreme insomnia, sometimes sleeping as little as an hour a night. Struggling, simultaneously, to care for an infant with Down syndrome, she relied on Ambien to help her sleep, until she met “Dr. Amazing,” who, after Chloe’s birth in 2010, prescribed Ativan, a benzodiazepine. “ ‘Take these,’ my doctor told me,” Bond recalls. “Frantic for sleep, I took them month after month, my mouth wide-open like a hungry carp.” After her doctor began ratcheting up her doses, Bond realized she was in the grip of a full-blown addiction: “I was simply following my doctor’s orders. I was in a free fall.” In lucid flashbacks—one particularly haunting scene sees her blacking out while driving with her children in the car—she details the hellish recovery process (“a year and a half clawing in the underworld”) that counted her marriage among its casualties. Pairing her unsparing candor with the same deep compassion she finds in the physician who helped her level out, Bond’s narrative casts a burning light onto the hazards of overprescribing and the threat it poses to vulnerable people. This cautionary tale stuns. (June)
In her propulsive, poetic memoir, Blood Orange Night, Bond narrates her experience in harrowing detail... Told with a journalist's commitment to fact and a poet's touch.”
—Shelf Awareness
“In this raw and captivating debut, journalist Bond chronicles her volatile descent into a benzodiazepine addiction... Pairing her unsparing candor with the same deep compassion she finds in the physician who helped her level out, Bond’s narrative casts a burning light onto the hazards of overprescribing and the threat it poses to vulnerable people. This cautionary tale stuns.”
—Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)
“A harrowing memoir about a class of drugs as dangerous as opioids... Bond’s sharp critique of big pharma and the broken American health care system sounds an urgent alarm. A vivid chronicle of suffering.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Bond's story, with lines like ‘the blood orange night turns red and screams through my eyes,’ is an eloquent cautionary tale.”
—Booklist
“A page-turner memoir chronicling a woman’s accidental descent into prescription benzodiazepine dependence – and the life-threatening impacts of long-term use – that chills to the bone.”
—Nylon
“Deeply personal insight into the ongoing benzodiazepine epidemic.”
—AV Club
“An engaging testament to the powers of self-advocacy and resilience written with lyrical clarity and heart. This cautionary tale will help many understand how prescription drug dependency can happen and the strength and courage required to overcome it. Highly recommended.”
—Library Journal
“There is a line in this evocative memoir that I will not forget, for it so perfectly sums up the effect that benzodiazepines have had on millions of lives: ‘Benzos are the thief that steals everything you own a piece at a time.' In Blood Orange Night, Melissa Bond writes of the thief that crept into her life with the narrative skills of a fine novelist.”
—Robert Whitaker, author of Anatomy of an Epidemic and Mad in America
“Blood Orange Night is a beautifully written and exceptionally moving firsthand account of Melissa Bond’s struggle with addiction to benzodiazepines. It should be read by anyone considering taking or prescribing medication for insomnia.”
—Irving Kirsch, PhD, author of The Emperor’s New Drugs: Exploding the Antidepressant Myth
“This is the best-written and most immersive personal story on benzos that I have read. Melissa Bond summarizes the benzodiazepine crisis that is invisibly growing in the shadow of the opioids when she writes: ‘Benzos dismantle the brain over time. Instead of a swift and sudden death by overdose, there is a slow slide into disability.’ Immersed in her deeply personal story and peppered with pulsating prose, Blood Orange Night shows the terrifying but not uncommon consequences of using these drugs long-term as prescribed.”
—Bernard Silvernail, Co-founder and President, The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices
“Blood Orange Night has it all: sex, ABC World News with Diane Sawyer, brutal addiction that’s not addiction, and outright beauty (not necessarily in that order). There’s also a hilarious kiddo with Down Syndrome lighting the book from the inside, but he’s just the cherry on top of a magnificent cake of a book. If we were at a dinner party together and you asked me about it, I’d tell you to get the thing; get this book now and devour it. It’s that good.”
—Stephanie Wilder Taylor, author of Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay
“With the unblinking eye of a journalist and the highly attuned heart of a poet, Melissa Bond brilliantly lays out the abyss prescribed benzodiazepine tranquilizers opened in her life...Blood Orange Night cuts to the bone. Here, truly, is hell on earth, and I can’t help but be awed by the strength and perseverance Bond manifested to emerge intact for her own sake and for that of her children.”
—Matt Samet, author of Death Grip
05/01/2022
"I feel like a house that has somehow remained standing in the wake of a massive fire" writes journalist and poet Bond in her memoir recounting her dependency on prescription benzodiazepines. Bond experienced chronic insomnia during her pregnancy for her second child. Under doctor's orders, she began taking a drug in the benzodiazepine family. As her dosages continually increased, her body deteriorated with rapid weight loss, fatigue, mental fog, and lack of muscle control. She discovered that she had become physically dependent on her medication and was experiencing withdrawal tolerance. Under the guidance of an addictionologist, Bond decided to undergo the harrowing process of gradually tapering. With the support of friends and with her children as inspiration, Bond was able to taper down to a small dosage and began a new phase of her life. Bond hopes that if she "can ache with honesty, people will hear." This is an engaging testament to the powers of self-advocacy and resilience written with lyrical clarity and heart. VERDICT This cautionary tale will help many understand how prescription drug dependency can happen and the strength and courage required to overcome it. Highly recommended.—Anitra Gates
2022-04-12
A harrowing memoir about a class of drugs as dangerous as opioids.
Making her book debut, journalist and poet Bond, a blogger for Mad in America, recounts her unintended overuse of popularly prescribed benzodiazepine drugs, which led to addiction and a long, painful process of withdrawal. In 2009, pregnant with her second child and caring for an infant son with Down syndrome, Bond experienced weeks of insomnia that left her physically and emotionally exhausted. “After nine weeks,” she writes, “my hands begin to shake. There’s the feeling of being broken, of the head and body not being connected. Some puppeteer jangles my legs, my head.” After the first trimester, her doctor finally prescribed Ambien, assuring her that it would be safe for her nursing infant and growing fetus. At first, Bond was relieved: Ambien worked. Soon, however, the effects sharply diminished. The author learned only later that the medical literature advised taking benzos only occasionally, for a few weeks; she kept swallowing Ambien for months. After her daughter’s birth, her doctor substituted Ativan, another benzodiazepine. Each time its effects stopped, the doctor increased the dose and then added Xanax. Still suffering from insomnia, Bond experienced other symptoms as well: memory loss, olfactory hallucinations, fainting, nausea, digestive problems, and depression, which became exacerbated when she tried to taper the dose. A frantic internet search revealed information that startled her: She was undergoing active drug withdrawal, much more severe with benzos than with opioids. “While the physical withdrawal of opioids is safely done in seven to ten days,” she writes, “benzo withdrawal can be ten times that long.” Furthermore, sudden withdrawal can be fatal. Bond’s anguish affected her relationships with friends and family (her mother had been an addict) and especially with her husband. Marital stress added to her despair, as did her frustration in finding medical help. Bond’s sharp critique of big pharma and the broken American health care system sounds an urgent alarm.
A vivid chronicle of suffering.
★ 09/01/2022
Author and narrator Bond's story starts off so well: man of her dreams, wedding, pregnancy. But things soon start to change. Her firstborn son is diagnosed with Down syndrome; her job is a casualty of the 2008 recession; and her second child arrives soon after. Her doctor prescribes Ativan because she's stressed out and unable to sleep, and she still struggles, then bumps up the dosage. She collapses while holding her daughter and learns that she has a benzodiazepine addiction. Quitting is not going to be easy—if not managed properly, withdrawal can be fatal. Bond's story about the journey to sobriety and the challenges it holds is one that is not as commonly known but is very real for many. VERDICT This cautionary tale about dependence on and addiction to benzodiazepines (which include Xanax, Klonopin, and Valium) is very timely. Bond's voice is strong and real and the perfect choice to narrate the audio book. Strongly recommended for public libraries of all sizes.—Gretchen Pruett
