Bitch Is the New Black: A Memoir

by Helena Andrews

Overview

Strong, sassy, always surprising—and titled after a Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update” monologue by Tina Fey—Bitch Is the New Black is a deliciously addictive memoir-in-essays in which Helena Andrews goes from being the daughter of the town lesbian to a hot-shot political reporter… all while trying to answer the question, “can a strong, single, and successful black woman ever find love?” Fans of Sloane Crosley (I Was Told There’d Be Cake) will love the bold and brassy Bitch Is the New Black.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780061778841
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	05/24/2011
Pages:	240
Product dimensions:	4.40(w) x 7.96(h) x 0.62(d)

About the Author

A graduate of Columbia University, Helena Andrews has written for numerous publications including Glamour, the New York Times, and TheRoot.com. She lives in Washington, D.C., and is working on the film adaptation of Bitch Is the New Black.

Table of Contents

1 Dirty Astronaut Diapers 1

2 Getting My Hair Undid 21

3 The Beatitudes of St. Clair 39

4 Riding in Cars with Lesbians 53

5 Mileage 65

6 Chasing Michelle 81

7 "Perfect Girl" and Other Curse Words 95

8 Has the Best Pussy in the World Helena Andrews 105

9 Walk Like a Woman 127

l0 Dry V-Wedgies 139

11 RuhBuhDuh 159

12 Trannygate 175

13 G.H.E.I. 189

14 The New B Word 203

15 Your Sixteen Cents 221

Acknowledgments 227

What People are Saying About This

Shonda Rhimes

“Bitch Is the New Black is an authentic fresh exploration of what it is to be young, black, and single right now—from a voice both outrageously funny and heartbreakingly honest.”

Angela Nissel

“I didn’t like this book. I loved it....I’m giving copies to all of my girlfriends who have crazy families, love lives that revolve around IM, and, of course, I’m pretending I helped Helen write it.”

Editorial Reviews

The scathingly witty author examines a wide variety of topics that, beneath the jokes and sarcasm, address weighty issues (depression, aging, abortion) with wry astuteness…An irreverent, savvy and sharp memoir.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Bitch Is the New Black is an authentic fresh exploration of what it is to be young, black, and single right now—from a voice both outrageously funny and heartbreakingly honest.” — Shonda Rhimes, creator of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice"

“I didn’t like this book. I loved it....I’m giving copies to all of my girlfriends who have crazy families, love lives that revolve around IM, and, of course, I’m pretending I helped Helen write it.” — Angela Nissel, author of Mixed and The Broke Diaries

“[A] bitingly funny — and honest — read....[Andrews] establishes herself as an individual, proving that the women who fit into the “strong (single) black woman” category are more complex than the one-dimensional persona lets on.” — Lisa Ko, author of The Leavers

“Andrews’ combination of personal anecdote and analysis of success and race makes her tales unique. And at the same time, her exploration of gender in America is one surely any woman can relate to.” — Bust Magazine

“With honesty and wit...Andrews is not afraid to reveal anything, even her bra size.” — Washington Post

From the Publisher

With honesty and wit...Andrews is not afraid to reveal anything, even her bra size.

Washington Post

I didn’t like this book. I loved it....I’m giving copies to all of my girlfriends who have crazy families, love lives that revolve around IM, and, of course, I’m pretending I helped Helen write it.

Angela Nissel

Andrews’ combination of personal anecdote and analysis of success and race makes her tales unique. And at the same time, her exploration of gender in America is one surely any woman can relate to.

Bust Magazine

[A] bitingly funny — and honest — read....[Andrews] establishes herself as an individual, proving that the women who fit into the “strong (single) black woman” category are more complex than the one-dimensional persona lets on.

Lisa Ko

Bitch Is the New Black is an authentic fresh exploration of what it is to be young, black, and single right now—from a voice both outrageously funny and heartbreakingly honest.

Shonda Rhimes

With honesty and wit...Andrews is not afraid to reveal anything, even her bra size.

Washington Post

[A] bitingly funny — and honest — read....[Andrews] establishes herself as an individual, proving that the women who fit into the “strong (single) black woman” category are more complex than the one-dimensional persona lets on.

Associated Press Staff

[A] bitingly funny — and honest — read....[Andrews] establishes herself as an individual, proving that the women who fit into the “strong (single) black woman” category are more complex than the one-dimensional persona lets on.

Associated Press

Andrews's exploration of what it's like to be young, black and single in Washington, D.C., is at times cringingly frank. Still, any young professional woman, regardless of color, will relate.
—The Washington Post

Nancy Trejos

Political reporter Andrews assembles 16 autobiographical essays exploring her unconventional upbringing, academic and professional accomplishment and the challenges of being a successful, single black woman in Washington, D.C. The scathingly witty author examines a wide variety of topics that, beneath the jokes and sarcasm, address weighty issues (depression, aging, abortion) with wry astuteness. The "bitch" referred to in the title is an allusion to the tough veneer-perhaps subtly survivalist-that Andrews claims is necessary for a black woman who is often the only black woman in school or at work. She reveals the inception of this facade in chapters about her childhood, where she describes being the only child of an openly gay single mother whose eccentricities were both fascinating and impenetrable. One anecdote describes the author's abduction by her grandmother at age six, in a misguided attempt to protect her; another details her attempt to reconcile the Bible with her mother's homosexuality (she couldn't). Whatever the effect of these profound incidents, the author clearly inherited ambition and confidence. She attended Columbia and Northwestern before climbing the ranks as a reporter in Washington-a situation that presented an entirely new set of obstacles, from finding an apartment without rats to finding camaraderie in the workplace. "There's something terribly frightening about being the only black person at a political newspaper when there's a black guy running for president," she writes. "Or should I say freeing?" Much of the book chronicles Andrews's dating misadventures. Nearing 30, and with a hilariously grandbaby-crazed mother, the author's reaction to a Washington Post headline titled "Marriage Is for White People" is understandably incredulous. Andrews, however, finds comfort in her artistic success, and has already sold the movie rights to her book. An irreverent, savvy and sharp memoir.

Kirkus Reviews