Beyond the Big Talk Revised Edition: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Teens - From Middle School to High School and Beyond

by Debra W. Haffner, Alyssa Haffner Tartaglione

Overview

Every parent needs help in guiding their teenagers through the difficult adolescent years, when they face peer pressure, dating, alcohol, drugs, harassment, and pressure to have sex, among many issues. In this revised and updated edition of her acclaimed book, parenting educator Debra Haffner offers invaluable practical advice, sample conversations, and checklists that parents can use to talk to their teens. The book includes:

• “Values Exercises” to help you identify and communicate your beliefs to your teens
• “Special Issues” to advise you on discussing difficult topics such as eating disorders and date rape, and responding to your teen’s questions about your own sexual history
• “Teachable Moments” to help you recognize opportunities or entry points into a discussion of important issues.

“Don’t wait for your teen to say, ‘I want to talk to you about sex today.’ It’s not going to happen,” writes Haffner’s daughter, Alyssa, in the book’s Foreword. “You will probably have to initiate the discussion. It may be difficult at first, but most teens will talk to their parents if we think you are comfortable talking to us.”

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781557048110
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	03/27/2008
Edition description:	Revised
Pages:	256
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d)

About the Author

Debra W. Haffner has been a parenting educator for more than twenty-five years, regularly speaks to parent groups across the country, and appears frequently on national TV, including CNN, Today, and The O'Reilly Factor. She holds a Master's in Public Health from Yale University School of Medicine and a Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary. She is an ordained minister with the Unitarian Church in Westport, Connecticut.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments     viii
Introduction to the Revised Edition     xi
Foreword   Alyssa Haffner Tartaglione     xiii
The Basics     1
Sexually Healthy Families     6
"Good Kids"     9
Adult Amnesia     15
Communication Tips     19
Tips for Parents     42
Adolescence: An Introduction     45
The Five I's of Adolescent Development     49
Early Adolescence     57
Middle Adolescence     65
Late Adolescence     69
The Middle School Years     73
Starting Middle School     73
How Much Pressure is Peer Pressure     76
Going Together     82
Sex and the Middle School Teen     83
Boy-Girl Parties and School Dances     87
Unsupervised Time     90
"How Come He's in the Bathroom AGain?     93
Erotica and the Middle School Child     96
It's Time to Leave the Baby Doctor's Office     98
Special Issue
"How Old Were You When You First Had Sex, Mom?"     100
Starting High School: Ninth and Tenth Grades     105
Starting High School     105
SexualBehavior: What to Expect     107
Helping Your Teen Set Sexual Limits     110
Parties     116
Alcohol and Drugs     119
Date Rape Drugs     122
The Media     125
The Internet     129
Dealing With Sexual Harassment in Schools     133
Special Issue
Preventing Eating Disorders     137
Late High School: Eleventh and Twelfth Grades     145
Staying Connected     145
First Love     147
Sexual Behavior: What to Expect     153
Talking about Contraception and STD Prevention     160
Other Methods of Birth Control     166
Finding Condoms or Pills in Your Teen's Room     169
"Mom, I Think I'm Pregnant"     171
"Dad, I Think I'm Gay"     181
Leaving High School     188
Special Issue
Helping Your Teen Avoid Date Rape and Violence     189
Beyond High School, Ages 18-21     195
Your Almost Adult Child     195
Preparing Your Child (and Yourself) for College     197
The Late Adolescent Who Lives at Home     201
Sexual Behavior: What to Expect     202
Relationships     207
"But You Know We Sleep Together"     209
Teens Who Are Transgender     212
Perspective     216
Afterword     219
Sources for More Information     223
Books for Teens     224
Websites on Adolescent Sexuality     224
Websites on General Adolescent Topics     227
Websites on Specific Issues     228
National Toll-Free Hotline Numbers     229
References     231
Index     237

Editorial Reviews

"An excellent guide covering children's and teens' sexuality issues. Haffner's message is practical and frank, both forward-looking and nonpermissive." —Library Journal

From the Publisher