Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides

by Geoffrey L. Cohen

Overview

Finalist for The Next Big Idea Bookclub • Book of the Year Selection Behavioral Scientist and Greater Good Society

“This is perhaps the richest book on belonging you’ll ever read.… The inspiration one draws from every page of this book is an enhanced sense of what is possible. It revives the very thing we need most in these times: hope.” —Claude M. Steele, author of Whistling Vivaldi

Discover the secret to flourishing in an age of division: belonging. In a world filled with discord and loneliness, finding harmony and happiness can be difficult. But what if the key to unlocking our potential lies in this deceptively simple concept? Belonging is the feeling of being a part of a group that values, respects, and cares for us—a feeling that we can all cultivate in even the smallest corners of social life. In Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides, Stanford University professor Geoffrey L. Cohen draws on his own and others’ groundbreaking scientific research to offer simple, concrete solutions for fostering a sense of belonging. These solutions can generate surprisingly significant and long-lasting benefits.

Small but powerful actions can bolster belonging—actions such as encouraging people to reflect on their core values before they face a challenge or expressing belief in someone’s capacity to reach a higher standard. A wide range of innovative approaches have been found to boost achievement at work and at school, bridge political divides, reduce prejudice, and even contribute to overall health. Rigorously tested in diverse arenas—from classrooms to disadvantaged neighborhoods to iconic Silicon Valley companies—these methods offer a path forward in these demanding times. Belonging is a compelling read for all who yearn for a more connected world, whether you’re a manager or employee, an educator or student, a parent or caregiver, or simply someone seeking to make the most out of every moment you spend with others. Packed with actionable insights and specific strategies, this book offers hope and practical guidance, serving as both an inspiration and a roadmap to creating a world of inclusion, understanding, and empathy.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781324006190
Publisher:	Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:	09/13/2022
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	448
Sales rank:	218,077
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Geoffrey L. Cohen is professor of psychology and the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business at Stanford University. He lives in Palo Alto, California.

Table of Contents

Introduction A Crisis of Belonging and What We Can Do About It ix

Part 1 The Science and Art of Situation-Crafting

Chapter 1 The Potential of the Situation

How Situations Shape Us and How We Can Shape Situations 3

Chapter 2 Belonging Uncertainty

Belonging Can Be Fragile, but It Can Also Be Fostered 23

Port 2 Causes and Cures

Chapter 3 The Pernicious Power of Us vs. Them

Why We Seek Belonging by Excluding Others 51

Chapter 4 Turning Them into Us

Crafting Situations to Bridge Group Divides 81

Chapter 5 Blaming the Person, Ignoring the Situation

How to See and Respond to What Is Really Going On 106

Chapter 6 They're All the Same

Why We Stereotype Others and How We Can Stop Doing It 139

Chapter 7 How Am I Seen?

How We Experience Being Stereotyped, and How Situation-Crafting Can Help Push Back 160

Chapter 8 I Can See It on Your Face (or Can I?)

How to Read Others with Empathy 187

Part 3 Fostering Belonging in All Walks of Life

Chapter 9 Belonging in School

Creating Situations That Help Students Thrive 211

Chapter 10 Belonging at Work

Combating Workplace Discrimination and Building Team Spirit 241

Chapter 11 Belonging and Health

Fostering Belonging to Strengthen Our Bodies and Minds 264

Chapter 12 Belonging in Policing and the Community

Building Understanding to Combat Systemic Abuses 285

Chapter 13 Belonging and Our Politics

Situation-Crafting to Bridge Partisan Divides 296

Key Takeaways

How We Can All Create Belonging 319

Acknowledgments 329

Notes 333

Index 405

Editorial Reviews

07/04/2022

In Cohen’s mixed debut, the Stanford psychology professor lays out a blueprint for cultivating a sense of community. Cohen argues that lacking a sense of belonging drives such social ills as chronic loneliness and toxic partisanship, and suggests that by “creating situations that foster belonging and bring out our individual and collective best” one can increase one’s sense of camaraderie. Cohen draws from social science research to lay out “interventions that nurture people’s belonging and self-worth” and details studies that found asking young people to work toward common goals with those from other backgrounds reduced prejudice more than instruction alone. The author explains how to address “belonging uncertainty” in education and discusses research he conducted that concluded that supplying students with statistics about how common some of their struggles are and pairing students with mentors increased students’ sense of belonging, especially for students of color. This is thoroughly researched, but the study summaries sometimes confuse and feel strung together, repeatedly making the same points. The ideas are provocative and humane, though the execution sometimes comes up short. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

"Belonging combines rich science, compelling stories, and beautiful prose to illuminate the social psychological principles behind the need to belong and how to foster belonging and connection in a fractured world. Reading this book will yield insights into your own motivation and behavior and will help you understand the source of many pressing problems of our time."

Sonja Lyubomirsky

"No one before Geoffrey L. Cohen has pulled together all the research relevant to diversity and inclusion in a single volume, helping us to understand belonging through a social psychological lens. The book is masterful, showcasing highly effective interventions. An inspiration!"

Peter Salovey

"This book shines piercing illumination on one of today’s most timely topics—the causes and consequences of belonging to modern social groups. Importantly, it maps scientifically grounded routes to minimizing the harmful consequences while optimizing the positive ones. The world needs this book."

Robert B. Cialdini

"Belonging is a masterpiece of social psychology—well-researched, highly engaging, and fundamentally useful to anyone who wants to bring out the best in themselves and in others, whether at school, at home, or in the workplace. At a time of so much social disruption and disconnection, Geoffrey L. Cohen has provided a very helpful and profoundly hopeful guide, rooted in well-tested psychological principles, that we urgently need. Everyone should read this book!"

Beverly Daniel Tatum

"Cohen alternates between telling the deep history of successful social psychological interventions and focusing on modern interventions that are being used to astounding effect...If we want more people to have the chance to maximize their abilities and their contributions to society, reading Belonging is the right place to start."

Science Magazine - Matthew Lieberman

"An exhilarating book, filled with actionable insights about making the world around you better."

Dacher Keltner

"This book is a beacon of hope for our fractured times. A leading expert on belonging offers an engaging analysis of the science and practice of breaking down the barriers between people and building bridges to a more respectful world."

Adam Grant

"This is perhaps the richest book on belonging you’ll ever read. It’s absolutely fresh—bringing together sometimes unexpected evidence and ideas to yield a transformative understanding of human belonging. And then, from its depth—fascinatingly revealed--it surfaces state-of-the-art practical advice about how to achieve and sustain belonging—in our lives, in our most important walks of life. The inspiration one draws from every page of this book is an enhanced sense of what is possible. It revives the very thing we need most in these times: hope."

Claude Steele

2022-07-13
An intriguing investigation of our need to belong and how to make that process easier for the bashful among us.

Stanford psychology and business professor Cohen offers a learned tour of experimental and social psychology, connecting science to real life in meaningful ways. On the issue of the pitched politics of our time, he observes that there’s an evolutionary reason for not deviating from group beliefs, no matter how ridiculous or dangerous: “Being outcast from our tribe,” he writes, “would once have presented a physical threat to survival, and our brains still seem to see it that way. To venture dissent is to risk expulsion.” The tribe element is important, for being a member of a group is an essential part of identity, and being outside of a group is, writes Cohen, as bad for one’s health as a pack-a-day smoking habit. Throw race into the mix, and things get more complicated. Drawing on a variety of disciplines, the author observes that White people are often visibly stressed when in the company of Black people, fearing that they may be called out for racism. “The accumulation of mortifications can put people in a constant state of alert, ready for the possibility of demeaning treatment,” he adds, and while those mortifications apply to oppressed minorities more often than to the dominant majority, everyone has plenty of shame-inducing incidents. The ticket out? Cohen suggests that it’s as simple as kindness, judging less and listening more, and being polite: “Not interrupting; saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’; apologizing when we do harm, whether intended or not, and even if others seem oversensitive about the harm caused, are signs that we see other selves as belonging in the circle of those to whom we should show respect.” Cohen is to the point and unsentimental even as he points the way to a nicer way to live.

A well-written, inviting treatise to be a better person.

Kirkus Reviews