Believe Me: How Trusting Women Can Change the World

by Jessica Valenti (Editor), Jaclyn Friedman (Editor)

Overview

What would happen if we believed women? A groundbreaking anthology offers a potent rallying cry and theory of change


Harvey Weinstein. Brett Kavanaugh. Jeffrey Epstein. Donald Trump. The most infamous abusers in modern American history are being outed as women speak up to publicly expose behavior that was previously only whispered about — and it's both making an impact, and sparking a backlash. From the leading, agenda-setting feminist editors of Yes Means Yes, Believe Me brings readers into the evolving landscape of the movement against sexual violence, and outlines how trusting women is the critical foundation for future progress.



In Believe Me, contributors ask and answer the crucial question: What would happen if we didn't just believe women, but acted as though they matter? If we take women's experiences of online harassment seriously, it will transform the internet. If we listen to and center survivors, we could revolutionize our systems of justice. If we believe Black women when they talk about pain, we will save countless lives.



With contributions from many of the most important voices in feminism today, Believe Me is an essential roadmap for the #MeToo era and beyond.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781580058797
Publisher:	Basic Books
Publication date:	01/28/2020
Pages:	336
Product dimensions:	5.80(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.30(d)

About the Author

Jessica Valenti is the author of multiple books on feminism, politics and culture. Jessica is also the founder of Feministing.com. Her writing has appeared in publications like the New York Times, the Washington Post, Nation, and Ms. magazine. She is currently a columnist at the Guardian US. Jessica lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter.


Jaclyn Friedman's work has redefined the concept of "healthy sexuality" and popularized the "yes means yes" standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many U.S. campuses. She is a popular speaker and opinion writer and the author of three books. Friedman hosts Unscrewed, a podcast exploring paths to sexual liberation, named a Best Sex Podcast by both Marie Claire and Esquire.

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Our Word Alone Jessica Valenti 1

How Bertha Pappenheim Cured Herself Moira Donegan 7

Gossip Is an English Word 500+ Years of #MeToo in Indian Country Sarah Deer Bonnie Clairmont 15

The Room Where It Happened Dahlia Lithwick 25

Listening Will Never Be Enough Katherine Cross 35

He's Unmarked, She's Marked Julia Serano 51

"Believe Me" Means Believing That Black Women Are People Soraya Nadia McDonald 64

We Belong Everywhere Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley 77

Nowhere Left to Go: Misogyny and Belief on the Left Sady Doyle 83

Constructing the Future: The Believe Me Internet Soraya Chemaly 93

Yeah, You Like That, Don't You? The Unnecessary Pleasures of Sexual Labor Tina Horn 111

Can BDSM Save Us? Centering Enthusiastic Consent in Queer Worlds Sassafras Lowrey 124

Clocked Matt Lubchansky 133

Do Not Pet Anuradha Bhagwati 135

The Power of Survivor-Defined Justice Stacy Malone, ESQ. 150

Before #MeToo: Black Women in the Anti-Rape Movement in Washington, DC, in the 1970s Loretta J. Ross 162

Believe You, Como Eres Andrea L. Pino-Silva 177

Reproductive Justice: Sacred Work, Sacred Journey Cherisse Scott 187

The Spark to Change Tahir Duckett 197

She Can't Breathe Jamil Smith 209

Taking the Employer High Road to Address Sexual Harassment Mónica Ramírez 218

Big Little Lies Samantha Irby 232

Innocent in the Face: A Conversation with Tatiana Maslany Jaclyn Friedman 240

When Gender Is Weaponized, Peace Depends on Believing Survivors Yifat Susskind Yanar Mohammed 255

Silenced and Doubted: How the US Immigration System Fails Central American Women Anna-Catherine Brigida 267

Survivorship Is Leadership: Building a Future for New Possibilities and Power Sabrina Hersi Issa 278

Survivor Love Letter Tani Ikeda 291

The Cost of Disbelieving Jaclyn Friedman 299

Editorial Reviews

11/18/2019

In this urgent essay collection, feminist activists Valenti and Friedman (Yes Means Yes!) bring together a diverse range of contributors to address the backlash to the #MeToo movement and make the case for “a simple but radical trust in women.” Noting that the Polaroid camera helped to decrease domestic violence rates by providing victims with immediate and tangible proof to take to police, Valenti argues that the internet is enacting a “cultural shift” around sexual abuse by allowing women to share and affirm their personal experiences. Moira Donegan, creator of the Shitty Media Men list, contends that Sigmund Freud’s disavowal of his initial findings on the links between hysteria and widespread sexual abuse set the template for the public’s reaction to rape accusations. Slate editor Dahlia Lithwick describes the dueling congressional testimonies of Christine Blasey Ford and Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, while Rolling Stone writer Jamil Smith explores intersections between rape culture and racism in the outing of Bill Cosby as a serial rapist. Many contributors, including Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley, note the importance of not just believing abuse survivors, but achieving credible justice for them as well. Consistently well-written and soundly reasoned, these essays persuasively cast the tendency to doubt women as one of America’s greatest social ills. This illuminating call to action deserves a wide readership. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

"Feminist champions Jessica Valenti and Jaclyn Friedman are back with their second anthology, rallying a handful of contributors like Samantha Irby, Dahlia Lithwick, Ayanna Pressley, Moira Donegan, and Julia Serano to share their personal stories on sexual assault, consent, gender norms, and overall life after the #MeToo movement."—Marie Claire, Best Books of Winter

"This urgent volume shines a light on the moral imperative to trust and believe women in order to save lives."—Ms.

"Feminist champions Jessica Valenti and Jaclyn Friedman are back with their second anthology, rallying a handful of contributors like Samantha Irby, Dahlia Lithwick, Ayanna Pressley, Moira Donegan, and Julia Serano to share their personal stories on sexual assault, consent, gender norms, and overall life after the #MeToo movement."—Marie Claire, Best Books of Winter

"In this urgent essay collection, feminist activists Valenti and Friedman bring together a diverse range of contributors to make the case for 'a simple but radical trust in women' ... Consistently well-written and soundly reasoned, these essays persuasively cast the tendency to doubt women as one of America's greatest social ills ... an illuminating call to action."—Publishers Weekly

"Inclusive and essential... a must-have for the modern reader."—Library Journal, starred review

"Believe Me is a book that lives up to its title. Jessica Valenti and Jaclyn Friedman have brought together writers, legal experts, actors, advocates, and more, creating both a call to action and a roadmap for a better future — the future women deserve. It's hard to imagine a more powerful and timely portrait of the moment we're in, and where I hope we're headed."—Cecile Richards, co-founder of Supermajority and former president of Planned Parenthood

"A fierce, necessary volume of truth, accountability, and prognostication from a roster of the most fearless and perceptive writers working today. Believe Me feels like therapy to anyone who has been paying attention."—Lindy West

From the Publisher

★ 01/01/2020

Valenti and Friedman (coauthors, Yes Means Yes!) invite activists to share the impact of people having confidence in women and their stories. In this collection, writers such as comedian Samantha Irby, Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley, author Matt Lubchansky, and activist Yanar Mohammed do not soften their message but tell, unequivocally, stories of their own experiences with not being believed and the stories of others, whether about sexual assault, medical need, or the lack of safety in their home. Standout essays include Friedman's, which names the reasons why these stories matter; Tina Horn's meditation on sex work; and Jamil Smith's on his awakening to his own behavior and its contribution to violence against women. To select only three top essays does this excellent collection, however, a disservice. Each piece stands robustly on its own, drawing readers in. The writers make their arguments in accessible, compelling prose. VERDICT Though this collection ultimately preaches to its own choir, the book easily arms feminist activists with valuable content with which to stride forward in engaging misogyny in the world. An inclusive and essential choice following We Should All Be Feminists, and a must-have for the modern reader.—Abby Hargreaves, District of Columbia P.L.

Library Journal