Being a Dad Is Weird: Lessons in Fatherhood from My Family to Yours

by Ben Falcone

Overview

A funny and intimate look at fatherhood from the actor and writer/director of The Boss and Tammy that combines stories about his own larger-than-life dad and how his experiences raising two daughters with his wife, Melissa McCarthy, who also penned the Foreword, are shaped by his own childhood.

Though he’s best known for his appearances in the movie Enough Said, as well as his hilarious role as Air Marshall Jon in Bridesmaids, Ben Falcone isn’t a big shot movie star director at home. There, he’s just dad. In this winning collection of stories, Ben shares his funny and poignant adventures as the husband of Melissa McCarthy, and the father of their two young daughters. He also shares tales from his own childhood in Southern Illinois, and life with his father—an outspoken, brilliant, but unconventional man with a big heart and a somewhat casual approach to employment named Steve Falcone.

Ben is just an ordinary dad who has his share of fights with other parents blocking his view with their expensive electronic devices at school performances. Navigating the complicated role of being the only male in a house full of women, he finds himself growing more and more concerned as he sounds more and more like his dad. While Steve Falcone may not have been the briefcase and gray flannel suit type, he taught Ben priceless lessons about what matters most in life. A supportive, creative, and downright funny dad, Steve made sure his sons’ lives were never dull—a sense of adventure that carries through this warm, sometimes hilarious, and poignant memoir.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062473592
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	04/10/2018
Pages:	240
Product dimensions:	5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x (d)

About the Author

Ben Falcone is a film director, writer, and comedic actor. He lives in Los Angeles with his family.

Table of Contents

Foreword Melissa McCarthy xi

Preface xv

1 Have Good Times: or The Value of Adult Friendships for the Sanity of Parents and Children Alike 1

2 It's About Who You Know: or Why Having Feathered Friends Will Keep Your Kids from Worrying About Your Crappy Job 9

3 Take It All in Stride: or Nothing Is Too Big of a Deal 19

4 The Big Sky Theory: or Sometimes It's Okay to Lie to Your Kids 25

5 Rip off the Band-Aid: or The Argument for Truth Once in a While 37

6 Parenting through Hypochondria: or The Time I Thought I Might Be Gay 45

7 Not All Vacations with Your Children are Magical: or Never Take Travel Advice from a Bird-watcher 51

8 Navigating Breakfast Conversations: or My Dad Never Had to Deal with This Stuff 63

9 Having Children of the Opposite Gender: or My Mom DID Have to Deal with This Stuff 67

10 Parenting the Parents: or The Art of Waking Up Your Dad When He Falls Asleep on the Can 77

11 Admit Your Faults: or Don't Mutilate the Chocolate Bunnies 85

12 All Hail the Road Warrior: or Being Grateful for What Matters 91

13 How to be an Inspiration to Young Athletes: PS: Maybe Skip the Mimosas? 101

14 Admit When You Have Said, Done, or Cooked Something Wrong: or The Apology Fish 109

15 High School-Let it be a Time of Poor Choices: or Forgive Them, for They Know Not What They Do 119

16 My Dad's Noises: (Oh Holy Shit, I'm Making Noises) 127

17 It's Okay to Let Them See You Sweat: but Sometimes I Sweat a Whole Bunch 131

18 Music Makes the World go 'Round: (This One Is Easy) 139

19 Stop Feeling Guilty: Your Kids Are Never Really Bored 143

20 Forget Counting Sheep When You Can't Sleep: One of the Many Reasons it Helps to Have a Sibling 149

21 Foster Political Ideas: or The Time I Was an Asshole for Halloween 153

22 Learn the Rules of the Game: or Never Leg-Whip a Priest 161

23 Always Support Your Children: Even When They Lose Their Way and Take Their Waiter Job Way Too Seriously 169

24 Teach Your Children the Value of Money: Spend It Now 187

25 Find a Good Lady to Spend You Life With: but Be a Good Husband 195

26 Appreciate Every Gesture: For Example, The Meat That My Daughters Made Me for Father's Day, 2014 201

27 It's Okay to Cry: or The Art of Gathering Wine 203

28 Choose Happy: and It Is a Choice 209

Acknowledgments 215