Behind the Marble and Mirrors: A Woman's Memoir of the Trials and Triumphs of Working in a Traditionally Male-Dominated Environment

by Carol L. Farrand

Overview

One of the first lessons author Carol Farrand learned was that opportunity lurks where you least expect it. When she took her daughter to a local resort to apply for a seasonal position, she had no idea how her own life would change on that fateful day. She was over forty years old and had just sold the small resort she ran with her husband. She was looking forward to a summer of relaxation, freedom, and fun. Instead, a new path was laid before her—one that would take her to top resorts all over the United States and the world. As a new project manager for an international hotel chain, she had the world at her feet.

The trouble was that not everyone would prove welcoming.

Carol quickly learned how to deal with the many challenges facing a female manager in a male-dominated industry: sexual harassment, bigotry, sexism, and more. Eventually, she adjusted to life on the road; once she dug deep enough, she found the strength to triumph over the stressful situations she encountered. But the greatest lessons she learned was that she was stronger than anyone thought—and that life truly can begin at forty.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781469715179
Publisher:	iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:	01/20/2012
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	180
File size:	299 KB

Read an Excerpt

Behind the Marble and Mirrors

A Woman's Memoir of the Trials and Triumphs of Working in a Traditionally Male—Dominated Environment

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By CAROL L. FARRAND

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Carol L. Farrand
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4697-1215-4

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Chapter One

Palm Springs and the Male Escort

Palm Springs in the winter is a lovely place to visit, but it is a brutally hot, convection oven in the summer. My assignment at one of the luxury hotels was a complete renovation of the individual, high-dollar duplexes on the property. In anticipation of the project, the hotel had removed all the air-conditioning units and would not be replacing them until our scope of work had been completed. As a result, even working inside was little relief from the cloudless sky and piercing sun.

The contractor's superintendent was a young, street wise, arrogant man whom I had worked with on a previous project. He had a verbally abusive attitude which affected the moral of the men working on the various trades and which added to the tension. Occasionally when I would have to discuss a problem with him, I would find him in one of the rooms his family shared with him. He would be screaming obscenities into the telephone, oblivious to his small children playing nearby.

A few months after the project began his men started to complain they had not been paid. After checking into the situation with my company I was advised that payment had been made for all invoices which had been submitted. The condition became critical after another week had gone by and the workers who had still not been paid were threatening to leave. A decision was made to send me the next check, have the resort cash the check and I would be in charge of distributing the correct funds to each of the men. While I had sympathy for the men, this put an additional burden on my already hectic schedule.

As part of the project a decision had been made to replace all the interior doors of the cottages. As the doors arrived, they were unloaded in the 100 degree plus heat by workers who grew more hot and sweaty as the work progressed. It didn't occur to anyone how this might affect the surface of the wooden doors until, once they began staining them, dark areas appeared where the workers bodies had pressed against them. The supplier had neglected to wrap the doors in plastic to protect them, and when the damage became obvious, the resort refused to accept them and the entire order had to be replaced.

The project lasted for a long and frustrating four months and the only thing that prevented my sanity from diving into the deep end was a local couple who befriended me and invited me into their home some evenings for a small glass of wine and a large dose of sympathy. The husband was a local contractor who had an interest in the project and because he was older, he was able to instill some calm into the midst of the many crises.

His wife wrote the society column for the local paper and her stories of the celebrities who made Palm Springs their winter homes were always interesting. She and I became friends and when I could find time, we would meet for lunch or shopping trips to one of the local malls.

The project was ongoing over the July 4th holiday and I was invited to the festivities at one of the country clubs. As soon as I met my friends and we entered the club I was pleased and surprised at the attention I was receiving. As I was introduced to one participant after another I found business cards being pressed into my hand and several invitations to lunch. What a shock to discover that each of my new acquaintances was a plastic surgeon attempting to solicit business from someone who they obviously felt was in need of their services.

Finally the project was complete and it was time for me to leave. My luggage was packed and placed by the door of the suite which had been my home for the past three months. When the doorbell rang, I opened the door to see, standing on the threshold, an extremely good looking, very buff, naked from the waist up and spandex from the waist down, man, holding a single rose in his teeth. "Can I help you?" I asked. He removed the rose from his mouth and replied, "I am here to do anything you desire."

He explained that "my boys" had paid for him to visit me as their gift. It took a few minutes of conversation for the man to realize this had been a set-up. I told him to go back to the boys and tell them, "thanks but no thanks." He seemed confused and it didn't help matters when I grabbed the rose he was holding and then closed the door.

I headed for the bedroom to spend my last night in the desert catching up on all the sleep I had missed over the length of the project. It was about a half hour later when the telephone rang, interrupting my sleep. As I picked up the receiver, I could hear laughter in the background as one of the men asked me, "What are you doing?" "Trying to sleep." I replied and went on to tell them I had rejected their lovely gift.

I shouldn't have been shocked at the thought process of the men who had worked with me on this difficult project. Over the years of working on the road, I had discovered the main source of activity for the men after a hard day of work was a visit to any local Gentlemen's Bar in the area, where a considerable amount of their pay would be spent on lap dances.

As I would cruise the nearby malls looking for bargains and eating in food courts, I would be unaware and unconcerned about their nighttime activities. It was only on rare occasions when tales of their activities would be relayed to me either intentionally or by accident that I would find myself being either amused or appalled at their actions.

Chapter Two

My new construction experience

This was not the first time I had worked in Palm Springs. Years before I had been sent to the desert in order to increase my limited knowledge of new construction. The resort where I was assigned was a luxurious, new, property spread over acres of beautifully landscaped grounds with numerous indoor and outdoor pools. An open area between two of the buildings had been chosen as the site for a new Italian restaurant. The company had rented an apartment for me near the resort which was an air-conditioned oasis after working outside everyday.

My teacher was an older man who had been with the company for many years. His years of experience included being in charge of building the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in the New York City area in the early 1960's. Each morning my mentor would choose a section of the blueprints and ask me, "What is this?" Most of the time I had no answer, but my knowledge increased each day with his help.

One day I noticed the holes which had been dug for the restaurant's support piers were being filled in and new holes were being dug. My teacher explained the reason. The holes had been dug in the wrong area. It was then I realized I had actually noticed this on the blueprints a few days earlier, but I was too timid to point this out to the man I felt had knowledge far superior to mine. When I mentioned this to my teacher he gave me valuable advice. "Don't ever be afraid to ask a question or point out something you feel is incorrect. There are no stupid questions, but to remain silent when you think you see a problem is inexcusable." I had been correctly chastised and his words stayed with me for the rest of my career.

The man had an apartment in the same complex where I was staying and one night I invited him to have dinner with me. I asked him if he had a drinking preference and when he replied he liked vodka, I bought a bottle. When he arrived I made him the first drink of the evening. Shortly after that he requested a second drink and then continued to drink until the bottle was empty and he could barely walk.

Because the complex was so large he had driven to my apartment. I helped him to his car and worried that he would be unable to find his way back to his apartment. I felt guilty, thinking he would probably be unable to work the next day. He was in his seventies and I thought I could have contributed to a possible health problem. The next morning, however, I was amazed to see the man, freshly shaven, hair combed and dressed in one of his suits, ready to begin the day. It was the first of many times during my years with the company when I discovered how an alcoholic could be totally incoherent in the evening and show no effects the next day.

Chapter Three

How it all began

My career began with an accidental meeting at a large and luxurious resort near where I lived.

I had taken my daughter to apply for a summer job. The director of Human Resources noticed me sitting in the foyer area waiting for my daughter and asked if I would be interested in working in the construction office of the resort. The property had recently been purchased by a large hotel chain and there were twenty-eight separate projects scheduled to be completed within the next two years.

The woman who had been working in the office was retiring and the hotel was hoping to replace her with someone who could fill the full time position instead of the high school and college applicants who had been applying for part time summer jobs.

I walked across the hotel drive and up a flight of stairs to an office that consisted of five separate rooms overlooking the indoor pool. It had previously been the executive office and was furnished like a luxurious suite. After a few minutes of what consisted of a brief interview with the woman, I decided to accept the job even though I would be giving up the freedom of the first spring I had had in ten years, as my husband and I had just sold a small resort we had owned.

I had less then a week to become oriented with the office before the woman left for Arizona, and after two days I had already regretted my decision. The man in charge was loud, coarse, crude, and obnoxious. It was easy to tell what he had eaten for lunch each day as the remnants of food would be stuck in his wiry, black beard or splattered on his tie.

As it turned out, I didn't see much of him in the afternoon as he would leave on some pretense, (word had it one of the housekeepers was leaving with him after her shift), however, I could depend on the phone ringing between 4:30 and 5:00 when he would call to make sure I was still "on the job."

The sexual advances began a few months after I began working. Maybe his housekeeper had found a new love. At any rate he began by making remarks which I managed to ignore. Then the touching began. I would be on the phone or putting away blueprints and he would slide his hand down the sleeve of my dress, or touch my hair. What to do? I really liked the job and I loved the office. So I came up with a plan. As I was standing at the file cabinet one day he came up behind me, pressed himself against me and said, "C'mon honey, why don't we get out of here and go somewhere where we can play?" I turned toward him and said, "Oh I don't think you would really be interested." "Why?", he asked, "Because," I replied. "My husband says I'm frigid." The shock on his face was laughable, but it worked. He backed away, looked at me and said, "Yeah, you've probably right." I had correctly assumed he would not want to waste his time with someone who was not deserving of his "stud" capabilities.

From that day until the day he was transferred to a large project in California, we worked together without another advance. Of course, this was years before it was possible for women to instigate a sexual harassment suit. Later as women began to win harassment suits, I often wondered if I could have been one of them.

One advantage to the man being gone every afternoon was the chance it gave me to study the blueprints, make notes, and work with the contractors who would come to the office with a question for Mr. Sleaze man. Gradually with their help and their answers to my questions I learned more and more about the renovation process.

One day the project director from the Washington office called to say he would be coming to the property and would like to talk to me. During his visit he asked me if I thought I could take over the remaining projects. They had decided to transfer Mr. Sleaze man to a large project in California. I explained that with Mr. Sleaze man gone each afternoon I was already handling many of the problems that had come up, a fact he verified by telling me the contractors had been calling him with the same information.

A few weeks later Mr. Sleaze man was gone and I assumed all responsibilities of the office, becoming a project manager. It didn't take long to discover this involved twice as much work with no increase in pay.

When I realized how ridiculous this was, I made a phone call to the project director who had returned to Washington. I informed him the executive secretary for the general manager was leaving and I had been offered her job at a higher salary then I was being paid. I soon had a raise to go along with my responsibilities.

For the next seven months, I completed as many of the projects as possible. I was then told the construction office was being closed and whatever projects remained would be handled by the Engineering department of the resort. I was kept busy for the next few weeks closing out whatever jobs I could and transferring all files, blueprints etc. to the director of engineering.

One of the projects I completed was the total renovation of 110 rooms in one of the main resort buildings. I talked the engineer into giving me space at the back of one of the levels of the enclosed parking garage where I stored all the new furniture. I kept an inventory of all the items, scheduled the various phases, processed the invoices and, when the project was complete I received praise from the corporate offices in Washington, D.C. Several of the corporate managers from the home office visited the resort and expressed amazement that I had been able to handle all of the aspects of the projects without any help.

Finally I was informed that I was to give up my beautiful suite of offices as I was being transferred to an office in the Engineering department.

Chapter Four

My new position

My new surroundings were incredibly depressing. Wires ran along the walls, no carpet existed on the concrete floors, I had no typewriter, and my desk looked like it had been dug out of a landfill. The secretary was working very closely with the Director and it was obvious she did not like the addition of another woman in her space.

I was miserable in my dark, drab office and even though I was still in charge of all projects which had been turned over to the resort, I was given a low level, engineering position, (no title included), having had my records transferred from the construction division of Washington to the operation division of the resort.

When it became obvious the secretary was in charge of who did and did not receive promotions, I made an appointment to see the general manager. As I sat in his office I explained the scope of work I was doing for his hotel and why I deserved to have a title and monetary compensation. He agreed and when I left his office, I felt assured my problems were over.

I returned to my office and was met by the secretary who had received a phone call from the general manager. She informed me that, inasmuch as I was to receive a raise, she would be increasing her pay as well. Then she added, "As long as you work for this company you will never make more money then I make."

A few weeks later, she left on vacation and I went to work improving my office. I had one of the contractors paint the ceiling, install paneling on the walls after hiding the wiring, install carpet on the floor and we found my old desk from the construction office and sent the previous one back to the landfill. There was one item however, I could not improve. After asking several times for a typewriter, (the secretary refused to type any of my papers or let me use her typewriter), I had been presented with a 1956 Underwood manual machine much to the amusement of the secretary and the director.

When the secretary returned she was furious to see the improvements which had been made and demanded to know who had paid for the changes. When I told her I had paid for everything myself she went into the directors office, closed the door, and I'm sure made him aware of her feelings. Shortly after that, she would partially close the door between my office and hers. She had one of the engineers install a security mirror in a position which allowed her to sit in her office, look out into mine, but I was unable to see into her office.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Behind the Marble and Mirrors by CAROL L. FARRAND Copyright © 2012 by Carol L. Farrand. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Chapter 1 Palm Springs and the Male Escort....................1
Chapter 2 My new construction experience....................5
Chapter 3 How it all began....................7
Chapter 4 My new position....................11
Chapter 5 Meeting My English Friend:....................13
Chapter 6 My English Adventure....................15
Chapter 7 New Orleans—the First Time....................19
Chapter 8 The French Quarter....................23
Chapter 9 New Orleans—the second time....................25
Chapter 10 Sanity Restored....................28
Chapter 11 Tampa Florida and the Hurricane....................30
Chapter 12 The other woman project manager....................32
Chapter 13 Orlando in the summer....................34
Chapter 14 The first Boston assignment....................37
Chapter 15 Next stop, Chicago....................42
Chapter 16 Chicago Unions....................44
Chapter 17 Massachusetts and my piercing experience....................46
Chapter 18 Meeting Susan....................49
Chapter 19 Montreal and the Lumerian boots....................51
Chapter 20 Quebec, Canada and the bread ovens....................54
Chapter 21 Chappaquiddick and the locked car....................57
Chapter 22 The date that got me into trouble....................59
Chapter 23 Another Newton Room Renovation....................62
Chapter 24 The Airport Shuttle Driver....................66
Chapter 25 The airport security breach....................68
Chapter 26 Hunt Valley Maryland....................70
Chapter 27 New friends and tourist attractions....................72
Chapter 28 New York City adventures....................74
Chapter 29 New York City highlights....................77
Chapter 30 The attack....................79
Chapter 31 Do Not Disturb....................82
Chapter 32 Atlantic City and my Gambling experience....................84
Chapter 33 The Grease Trap Fiasco....................87
Chapter 34 Atlanta toVail in the autumn....................90
Chapter 35 The Dallas Mascot....................93
Chapter 36 A weekend get-a-way....................95
Chapter 37 A night out/A plane crash....................97
Chapter 38 The Earthquake....................99
Chapter 39 MacGyver....................102
Chapter 40 Working in St Louis....................104
Chapter 41 Surviving a fire....................106
Chapter 42 Punching rooms (it's not what you think)....................108
Chapter 43 The punch process in public areas....................110
Chapter 44 Some thoughts on the designers....................113
Chapter 45 Another incorrect color scheme....................115
Chapter 46 Working at Corporate....................117
Chapter 47 Meeting Diane:....................120
Chapter 48 Bermuda....................123
Chapter 49 The Scooter Accident....................128
Chapter 50 Springfield, Massachusetts....................130
Chapter 51 My awesome car....................134
Chapter 52 Dayton, Ohio, the last project and my first retirement....................136
Chapter 53 My return to work....................139
Chapter 54 Hawaii....................141
Chapter 55 Memphis and my second retirement....................145
Chapter 56 The absolutely final projects....................148
Chapter 57 The Darker Side....................153
Boston:....................153
Arizona:....................154
New Orleans:....................156
Chapter 58 Epilogue....................158