Been There, Done That: A Rousing History of Sex

by Rachel Feltman

Overview

A rollicking, myth-busting history of sex that moves from historical attempts at birth control to Hildegard von Bingen’s treatise on the female orgasm, demystifying plenty of urban legends along the way.

Roman physicians told female patients they should sneeze out as much semen as possible after intercourse to avoid pregnancy. Historical treatments for erectile dysfunction included goat testicle transplants. In this kaleidoscopic compendium of centuries-old erotica, science writer Rachel Feltman shows how much sex has changed—and how much it hasn’t. With unstoppable curiosity, she debunks myths, breaks down stigma, and uses the long, outlandish history of sex to dissect present-day practices and taboos.

Feltman’s mischievous humor dismantles fear and brings scientific literacy to a subject surrounded by misinformation, and indeed, as it gravitates toward the strange, Been There, Done That delivers some sorely needed sex ed. Explorations into age-old questions and bizarre trivia around birth control, aphrodisiacs, STIs, courtship rituals, and more establish that, when it comes to carnal pleasures and procreation, there’s never been a normal, and sex isn’t something to be scared of.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781645037170
Publisher:	PublicAffairs
Publication date:	05/17/2022
Sold by:	Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:	eBook
Sales rank:	417,618
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

Rachel Feltman’s first paying gig was organizing a bookshelf full of textbooks on vulvar disease at the age of seven, and she never looked back. She’s the Executive Editor of Popular Science and hosts PopSci’s podcast The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week. In 2014, Feltman founded the Washington Post’s Speaking of Science blog, known for headlines like “You probably have herpes, but that’s really okay,” and “Uranus might be full of surprises.” Feltman studied environmental science at Simon’s Rock and has a master’s in science reporting from NYU. She’s a musician, an actress, and the stepmom of a very spry 14-year-old cat.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Everything Weird Is Normal-Everything Normal Is Weird 1

1 What the Heck Is Sex? 9

2 How Normal Is Heteronormativity? 21

3 Just How Many Sexes Are There? 55

4 How Do We Do It? 77

5 What's the Deal with Masturbation? 103

6 Why Are We So Scared of STIs? 125

7 How Is Baby Formed? 161

8 Have We Always Used Birth Control? 185

9 Why Don't Our Bodies Always Cooperate with Our Horny Hearts? 217

10 What Is Porn, Exactly? 237

11 Why Do So Many of Us Like Sex That Isn't "Normal"? 257

Conclusion: Everything Is Fine if Nothing Hurts 291

Acknowledgments 295

Further Reading 299

Notes 303

Editorial Reviews

02/21/2022

Popular Science editor Feltman debuts with a playful, myth-busting survey of human sexuality and the history of reproductive science. Tackling the subject from a queer, feminist perspective, she explains the mechanics of conception, traces the evolution of birth control methods, and documents the many techniques, such as “poach goat testes in milk and consum them with sesame seeds and porpoise fat,” that have been used to treat erectile dysfunction since the eighth century BCE. Elsewhere, Feltman delves into the science of AIDS transmissibility, debunks historical legends (Cleopatra did not have a vibrator made of bees; Catherine the Great did not have sex with a horse), and discusses recent research into the sexual behaviors of transgender and nonbinary people. Turning to fetishism and the “concept of deviance,” Feltman discusses how the Bible story of Sodom and Gomorrah came to be interpreted as a prohibition against homosexuality and notes that Richard von Krafft-Ebing added more technical jargon and Latin passages to later editions of Psychopathia Sexualis (first published in 1886) in order to keep people from “devouring his academic treatise like porn.” Enlivened by Feltman’s keen sense of humor and affirmational tone, this is an entertaining and informative catalog of “sexual expression and queer existence and horny exuberance through history.” (May)

Publishers Weekly

Rachel Feltman’s writing is wry, clever, and precise. These pages feature creatures, humans included, with all manner of sexual proclivities, mysteries, and biases who have been everywhere and done it in every way one can imagine. Feltman’s perspective is priceless. Along with her insight, she is funny, especially when she’s writing about sex, which she does a lot in Been There, Done That.” 
 —Bill Nye, science educator

“I don't want to spoil all the fun, but Been There, Done That is more than a boisterous, naked romp through the rainforest of human sexuality. Feltman has also added generous dollops of fascinating science that will expand the way you think about you-know-what.”
 —Dan Fagin, author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Toms River: A Story of Science and Salvation

“Feltman has unequivocally demonstrated that it’s possible to make jokes about sex that are both deeply researched AND deeply compassionate and inclusive. Been There, Done That is an eye-opening journey through human (and even non-human animal) sexuality, and everyone should read it.” 
 —Arielle Duhaime-Ross, Vice News correspondent and podcast host

“Been There, Done That is a lovably bonkers book that asks: Did medieval chastity belts even exist? Are bison actually gay icons? What is with James Joyce’s thing for his wife’s farts? Feltman’s writing is curious, clever, and kind as she explores the weird science of human and animal friskiness. An empathetic and relentlessly entertaining read.”
 —Ella Dawson, sex and culture critic

“It shines, instead, as an irreverent invitation to be enchanted by one's body, rather than ashamed; to be present in desire, rather than dislocated from it; to cast off the veil of insecurity and embrace one's whole self.”—Shelf Awareness

“Enlivened by Feltman’s keen sense of humor and affirmational tone, this is an entertaining and informative catalog of ‘sexual expression and queer existence and horny exuberance through history.’”—Publishers Weekly

“Raucous... confident... there are numerous moments of laugh-out-loud amazement and eyebrow-raising surprise... A deep dive for sex nerds and informative fun for everyone else."—Kirkus Reviews

“[A] wide-ranging and entertaining book… Feltman is sassy and opinionated…despite much of her subject matter being deeply serious, she writes about it with humour.”—Daily Mail

From the Publisher

09/01/2022

Like many taboo subjects, discussions of human sexuality are often clouded by hearsay, urban legends, and secrecy. In this informative and delightful history of sex and sex-adjacent topics, science writer Feltman brings sex out of the bedroom and into clear view. She organizes her book by topic rather than time period, allowing the listener the opportunity to take a historical deep dive into a variety of topics related to sex and sexuality, from masturbation to birth control to pornography. She strikes a careful balance between fact and humor and is careful to not accept popular urban legends as historical truth. Feltman's engaging and spirited narration fits the overall tone of her book—bawdy, funny, and surprisingly informational—and it's obvious that she sees the humor in the subject matter. There are times where it sounds like she's leaning in to share a dirty secret, and times when it sounds like a particularly entertaining lecture. Listeners will emerge with a new understanding of human sexuality—and some surprising anecdotes to share with others. VERDICT This well-researched, uproariously funny audiobook is ideal for listeners who enjoyed Strange Bedfellows by Ina Park or Bonk by Mary Roach, both of which cover similar territory.—Nanette Donohue

Library Journal - Audio

2022-02-24
A snarky romp through the “elastic, adaptable, catch-as-catch-can, DIY-friendly, totally open-source method of reproduction and social connection that keeps the world as we know it spinning.”

Popular Science executive editor Feltman could talk your ear off about koala chlamydia, and while she understands that her topic won’t appeal to everyone, this raucous book is sure to have something to fascinate most readers—even those who think they’re experts on all things sex-related. Rather than an in-depth examination of one or two specific elements, she offers “a smattering, a taste, a mere assortment of amuse-bouches of sexual expression and queer existence and horny exuberance through history.” Beginning with the introduction, “Everything Weird Is Normal—Everything Normal Is Weird,” the author demonstrates that she is equally confident discussing bacterial reproduction techniques, the history of heterosexual mating rituals, and contemporary human identities and politics, and there are numerous moments of laugh-out-loud amazement and eyebrow-raising surprise. The chapter on human reproduction is especially well detailed, taking the standard “sperm-meets-egg” story and complicating it almost to the point of absurdity, and Feltman’s exploration of animal biology and reproductive habits is similarly eye-opening. Many of the author’s choices are affirming and diverse—e.g., referring to “people with uteruses” and consistently including nonbinary people. Some of the humor is grating or overworked, including certain sections that will confuse older, less-internet-savvy readers, or will quickly become outdated, as in passages of meme-ready language. Feltman’s jokey tone works well for shorter pieces but becomes exhausting over a full-length book. Consequently, many readers will choose to read a chapter or two at a time. On the whole, though, the book is entertaining and educational. Before presenting a helpful section of further reading, the author notes, “this book is meant to merely be a humorous primer, a lighthearted introduction, a romp through the basics.” It’s an apt description.

A deep dive for sex nerds and informative fun for everyone else.

Kirkus Reviews