Be Happy Now!: From Wall Street Ambition and the Illusion of Success My Path to Happiness

by Alison Lanza Falls, David S. Prudhomme

Overview

On September 11, 2001, Alison Lanza Falls had a great career as a Wall Street banker, a caring and supportive family, and an enormous secret. She was silently and profoundly unhappy. Nine years after watching smoke billow from the World Trade Center where she was heading for a meeting, Alison began an incredible journey of personal transformation, with guidance from David Prudhomme, mind coach and founder of Mederi Wellness.

While chronicling the evolution of her remarkable life, Alison shares her unique experiences and important life lessons using Prudhommes framework, The Best Me NOW!, that guided her through an experiential process on how to choose emotions, let go and feel free, practice forgiveness, release deep-seated fears, love herself and others unconditionally, and accept and embrace her uniqueness. Alisons story reveals simple, practical lessons for anyone interested in improving self-talk, applying universal truths in a professional setting, and preparing the mind for excellence, proving that positive change is not only possible, but also that it follows a specific path of perception, awareness, and choice.

Be Happy NOW! combines two unique voices to share an inspiring story of transformation and life lessons intended to guide others on how to attain authentic happiness and a true understanding of self.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781504384179
Publisher:	Balboa Press
Publication date:	08/11/2017
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	244
File size:	729 KB

About the Author

Alison Lanza Falls is a Certified High Performance Coach, certified stress reduction specialist who was formerly a Wall Street banker. She currently resides on Catawba Island, Ohio, overlooking beautiful Lake Erie, living out her soul purpose to serve others in their search for fulfillment and joy through coaching, writing, and speaking. Visit her at www.alisonlanzafalls.com.

David S. Prudhomme is the creator of The Best Me Now, a comprehensive program for fulfilling your physical, mental and emotional potential. He is also the co-creator and co-author of From Stressed to Best: A Proven Program for Reducing Everyday Stress, an inspirational speaker, wellness consultant and high performance coach. He is the founder Mederi Wellness and a former Marine Corps Captain. To learn more about him, visit www.davidsprudhomme.com.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

September 11 Shatters My Illusion of Success

A contented man is never disappointed. He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril, Only thus can you endure long.

— The Tao Te Ching, verse 44 Rendition by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

It was 9:00 a.m. in New York. I had just landed at LaGuardia after an exhilarating and grueling two-week business trip in Asia. As managing director with a global investment bank, my associates and I had called on some of the largest managers of fixed income portfolios in the world. I was returning to my office on 59th and 5th Ave., the new uptown Wall Street. Still somewhat jet-lagged and forging ahead to prepare for another meeting with an important client at the World Trade Center, I saw an empty hallway and baggage claim area. LaGuardia Airport was eerily quiet.

Where is everyone? I wondered. I heard the scuffle of two people, security personnel, sprinting past me. Where were all the limo drivers with their placards greeting us important people? I walked out the door to look for my driver. There were no horns blaring. It was way too quiet.

Then I saw one of the World Trade Towers burning in the distance. The sight was disconcerting, disorienting, and disturbing. Focused on business as usual, I greeted my driver and asked, "What's going on?" He told me that early reports were that a private plane had crashed into one of the towers. I told my driver, "I need to get to an important meeting in one of the towers." Which tower? Was it the one that was burning? I did not know. I was in routine business mode, yet deep inside, I sensed something was wrong.

As we left La Guardia and were stuck in the traffic jam approaching the Triborough Bridge, we heard on the radio that another plane had just crashed into the second World Trade Tower. In the back seat of the limo, I was in total shock. My throat constricted. My eyes teared up, and I suddenly realized that we, the United States of America, were under attack. We were at war! I am five hundred miles from home and alone. Horns were blaring. People on the radio were screaming and I was shaking. I felt totally alone and vulnerable.

As I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing, my driver was very professional and levelheaded, and he tried every way to get into The City. The Triborough Bridge was shut down, and the back way through the Bronx was also blocked. Manhattan was on lockdown. Emotions were running high. Two big truck drivers were out of their cabs, screaming at the top of their deep voices. Their trucks had hit each other in the middle of an intersection. The drivers were angry and scared.

I was frightened — eyes wide open and seeing nothing and not believing what I was seeing. "Please just get me out of here!" was my prayer. It was everything I could do to contain my trembling and speak in full sentences. It took every ounce of energy to stay in control on the outside, while I felt the world crumbling around me.

Then it came to me. Aunt Mary would save me.

I asked my driver if it were possible to take me to Aunt Mary's home, which was two hours north of The City in the small town of Craryville. To my relief and amazement, he agreed. Then I discovered I had left my cell phone in my car in the Cleveland airport. It must have been the jet lag as my cell phone was never off my person. Coincidence? My driver again was a lifesaver. I managed to make one call out to Aunt Mary. I wanted to let her know I was safe and that I was coming to her house. Then all the lines were jammed. No cell phone communication was possible.

As we headed north, we listened to the live radio coverage of the disaster. The screams and the chaos down at the towers were bone-chilling and penetrating, even from the security of the limo. The radio reporters were bringing the tragedy into the car. It was surreal. I was looking out the window of the limo at a beautiful clear blue sky with hints of autumn in the leaves just starting to turn color. Nature was beautiful that day, which was in stark contrast to the death and destruction I was hearing and escaping.

I had flown to NYC to meet with one of our clients on the ninety-ninth floor of the second World Trade Tower. The timing was strangely miraculous. I could have been there — there but for the grace of God. The tears were streaming down my face. I was so scared and so thankful for my own safety. I could not even begin to imagine the horror and the heartbreak of the people in the towers and their families.

I looked out the rearview window and saw the thick plumes of black smoke turn white, reaching high into the sky. The radio reported that the World Trade Towers were collapsing — first one and then the other. As the towers came down, the smoke turned white, and I turned white. "All those poor innocent souls, may they rest in peace," I silently prayed. Black smoke turned to white. The imagery was powerful.

I said another silent prayer and got shivers. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I was praying over and over, "Our Father who art in heaven ..." On the radio's live coverage, the screams were horrific, the chaos unimaginable. I was safe, and I did not feel safe. I could not stop shaking.

*
That day I stayed with my Aunt Mary. I was glued to the TV's nonstop coverage. I was following all the reports and seeing the horrifying videos over and over. I went through the motions. From Aunt Mary's rotary landline, I checked in with my husband, Doug, who had been fielding calls of concern all day. He did not know of the events until a friend called him and he turned on the TV. Aunt Mary shortly thereafter called him and told him I was coming to her home. I checked on my closest associates. All were safe.

By the next day, Wednesday, I was ready to plan the logistics to return home and to work. The airports were closed until further notice. My mind was spinning. What should I do? Should I rent a car and drive fifteen hours to Ohio or take the train back to NYC? What can I do? What did I want to do?

I was shaken to the core. I could not stop crying. My mind was racing. And I knew instinctively that it was not the time to make any big life decisions. I just needed to focus on the next steps, putting one foot in front of the other. I prayed, "Please, Lord, deliver me from this nightmare!" It felt like I was on my own. I decided to take the first flight out of Albany when the airports reopened and to return to Ohio.

*
There I was in a bucolic upstate New York setting of rolling hills. I was taking walks and watching the birds. The deer came down to feed in the evening. The TV was on, and reality intruded with constant replays of the World Trade Towers collapsing. I was on the phone to the office every hour, checking on associates and learning who had been lost. To this day, the surreal contrast of the idyllic setting with the reality of the news from the TV and phone remains the most powerful image in my memory. My mind and emotions were on overdrive.

At that point, I thought it was all about my intellect. My brain had gotten me here. What came to my mind? I had been working in New York City with people, some of whom I did not like and many who did not like me. All of the stress came to the forefront — the commuting weekly, the working with all the sharp elbows, which is the modus operandi of many on the Street, the travail of working seventy-plus hours a week, building two new strategy groups from scratch on a shoestring budget, and the high demands and expectations.

What was I really doing? What did I want? What were my priorities? What did I need to change in my life? What was my plan?

For more than ten years, I had been racking up frequent flier miles, first in the United States and then with international travel, making calls with our sales people on major global investors in London and Paris. I had been invited to speak at an international conference on credit derivatives with more than a thousand attendees. The topic involved the research on credit defaults in the high-yield market, which utilized a third-party technology on the probability of default at the company level. Heady stuff. I had made three trips to Asia to meet with global fixed-income investors in Hong Kong, China, Indonesia, Singapore and South Korea. My understanding of the global markets and the level of sophistication of global investors had been growing exponentially.

With the support of my boss and with the support of all the fixed-income research analysts, some of whom reported directly to me and many of whom were in specialized teams, we had produced a quarterly credit strategy compendium that covered our strategic asset allocation recommendations and detailed company-specific relative value trade recommendations. This was a first-class research product, and it positioned the firm to rank with the top sell-side securities firms. I add this detail to acknowledge the wonderful contributions of the terrifically smart and talented analysts I had the pleasure of working with. I also want to acknowledge how much I grew and learned professionally from this experience.

Did I love this life on Wall Street and international travel? Hmm. Not really. I was never home. I never had time to breathe. Did I love who I had become? Hmm. Who was I? Who had I become? Yes, the money was nice. The accoutrements of the lifestyle were awesome and beyond my wildest expectations. Was this really who I was?

What were my feelings? As I processed all these thoughts, I felt like a zombie. Either I couldn't feel anything, or I was so overwhelmed with emotions that had been buried deep within that I could not stop crying.

So what was I feeling? After the initial shock on the morning of 9/11, the bone penetrating fear subsided. I knew I was safe. I felt very alone. I was disconnected from everyone and everything I really loved, including myself. I was desolate. The emptiness inside of me was vast. I did not feel successful. I just felt driven — by myself and by others' expectations for me to do even more.

In the great Catholic tradition, I have a confession. What were my prayers? I was praying nonstop my "Hail Mary," my "Our Father." The prayers were rote, a crutch. I was not a person of faith at this point in my journey.

On reflection, there are so many reasons why I felt empty. I was chasing ambition and money. I was always on the go, headed to the next event and focused on the next deadline. I was controlling my emotions, which meant that I was suppressing and denying my emotions of resentment, anger, and self-pity. I had no faith, no soul, not a glimmer of spirituality.

My life had spiraled out of control, totally out of my control. That week in the safety and serenity of upstate New York, I realized that I did not want to go back to work in New York City.

I was not afraid of the terrorists. I just felt so totally, so terribly alone. More importantly, I just knew in my gut that I was not living a life that was true to me.

*
During the next six months, I decided it was time to start to reclaim control of my life, to shift away from my Wall Street ambitions, and to put family first. It was not all about fame and fortune. This was my life, and I wanted to take control.

To say this decision was not easy is an understatement of enormous proportions. What was I giving up? Money? Yes. It was a very scary thought.

And yet I knew in my heart it was time for me to decide what was right for me. The trauma was so deep that I simply had to listen to my inner voice. At the time I had never heard of the term pattern interruption, which we will discuss later. I had not learned to listen to my intuition and my heart. I had no perspective or understanding that I was at a major turning point. I was simply doing what I knew I needed to do to survive. Sometimes we learn the lessons by looking through the rearview mirror.

Over the next several months, I decided to set in motion a careful plan to put my family first and to bring my professional life into the same geographic plane as my personal life. The timing was fortunate for me. There was a reorganization in the works, and I happened to qualify for early retirement. (No coincidences in life, right? Everything happens for a reason.) My managers were supportive and appreciative of the credit strategy research initiative I had helped build.

I left the bank on good terms, and I left the life, my career that I had known for more than twenty-five years. It was a gut-wrenching decision.

I just pulled the rip cord.

CHAPTER 2

Ambition Stirs

It is ordained that to the ambitious,
— Leonardo da Vinci

At the outset, my intent was to share the story about my journey from Wall Street and my focus on ambition and money and reveal how I came home to the real me. My only goal was to share my experience of the process of going deeply within, guided by David Prudhomme and his proprietary framework, The Best Me NOW! If somehow this book helps one person or one thousand people discover the happiness within themselves, I will be overjoyed.

My first editor challenged me, "How can a story of transformation not have a before and after picture?" In other words, it may be fun to write about how I have changed, but readers still needed to know where I came from. It hurt to write this chapter. I was shedding my armor and revealing where I came from, how I came to be perceived, and how I did not listen to my inner voice for most of my career.

*
When I left Ohio State with an MA in economics, only a dissertation short of a PhD, all I knew was that I did not want to teach and write esoteric articles. I wanted to get out into the real world and see what the practical world of business was all about.

Ambition stirred. Oh, yeah, I also got married and left two other boyfriends behind.

I started my professional career in a regional bank in Kentucky as a filing clerk. However, I never accepted that as my reality, much less the extent of my job and what I could do. I was also an instructor at a local community college, teaching macroeconomics, microeconomics, and statistics. The bank, which was starting to form a research group to support the portfolio managers in the trust department, offered me a position. Management did not believe they needed an economist. They had just let a consulting agreement lapse with an economist who was too boring and irrelevant. They were hiring MBAs for the new research department, so I was both overqualified and underqualified. Sound familiar?

With unbounded optimism ... or unbridled ego and arrogance, I snapped at the opportunity to work as an assistant in the research department — as a clerk.

I filed papers for about six months, finished teaching my courses at the local community college, and then wangled a chance to be the bank stock analyst. I knew about interest rate cycles, sort of. I did not know how to read a balance sheet or income statement. I had never taken even one accounting course. With fervor and drive, I went to school. The markets were my education. The stock market made me smart by showing me the practical application of all my book learning. I was learning so much and having a blast.

I worked hard, harder than all the boys. I earned my CFA, the certification of Chartered Financial Analyst. At the time, that certification required passing tests in seven disciplines, including ethics, quantitative methods, economics, corporate finance, financial reporting and analysis, security analysis, and portfolio management at three successively higher levels over a minimum of five years in the industry. The CFA is a prestigious certification that all the up-and-coming Wall Street analysts were earning.

I also made sure I met the right people and cultivated the right business associates. I was intent on making it in a man's world. I was a sought-after brain, an original thinker.

I got a taste of how smart I was, how good I was, and what a standout woman I could be in the financial world. I never looked back — at least not until recently.

As I moved into the ambition and career achievement phase of my life, I left behind many of the values with which I had been raised. My middle-class upbringing in a strict Scotch-Irish Catholic family on Long Island emphasized family, faith, humility, frugality, sports, work ethic, and humanitarianism. Those values were overshadowed by my pursuit of what I had never had, namely freedom and money.

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "Be Happy Now!"
by .
Copyright © 2017 Alison L. Falls; David S. Prudhomme.
Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Foreword By David S. Prudhomme, xi,
Preface, xv,
Introduction, xix,
Part 1 Three Wake-Up Calls Hello ... Is Anybody Home?,
Chapter 1: September 11 Shatters My Illusion of Success, 3,
Chapter 2: Ambition Stirs, 11,
Chapter 3: Same Old Gravy, Just Warmed Over, 25,
Part 2 Opening New Doors of My Mind,
Chapter 4: I Choose One Day in May, 37,
Chapter 5: The Power to Choose, 49,
Chapter 6: Let Go and Take Control, 65,
Chapter 7: Forgive and Be Free, 79,
Chapter 8: Release and Rejoice, 99,
Chapter 9: Look Within and Love Me, 115,
Chapter 10: I Am Not Special, 133,
Part 3 Putting the Lessons into Practice,
Chapter 11: Lessons on Self-Talk, 151,
Chapter 12: Lessons from Business, 161,
Chapter 13: Lessons from Golf., 171,
Chapter 14: The Journey Continues, 187,
Epilogue, 193,
Acknowledgments, 199,
Appendix : Ali's List of Changes and Choices, 203,
Resources, 209,
About the Authors, 217,