Balance Is a Crock, Sleep Is for the Weak: An Indispensable Guide to Surviving Working Motherhood

by Amy Eschliman, Leigh Oshirak

Overview

wickedly funny, girlfriend-to-girlfriend survival guide for working mothers who want real answers, not mommy manifestos or sappy crap on finding "balance"

Most books for working mothers are earnest, serious guides with some usefull information, but lack the snark and praticality that today's overworked moms relate to. Marketing veterans Amy Eschliman and Leigh Oshirak know firsthand what a struggle it can be to hold down a stressful job while raising a family-and that sometimes the only way to preserve your sanity is with laughter. A survival guide for the rest of us, Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak is filled with bitterly funny topics like:

• Congratulations. Now, where do I slot "baby" in Outlook?

• Maternity Leave: Vacation or Hell?

• The Breastaurant is Open for Business: The pump and grind of nursing after you return to work.

• You Are Not Your Husband's Mother! and other time-sucking obligations.

• And more day-to-day advice for surviving the working-mommy trenches

Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak is the indispensable "what to expect when you're expected back at work" guide for working mothers or any woman considering returning to work after baby.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781583333709
Publisher:	Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:	04/06/2010
Pages:	352
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.00(d)
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Amy Eschliman is a marketing veteran and the coauthor of Balance Is a Crock, Sleep Is for the Weak: An Indispensable Guide to Surviving Working Motherhood.

Leigh Oshirak is a marketing veteran and the coauthor of Balance Is a Crock, Sleep Is for the Weak: An Indispensable Guide to Surviving Working Motherhood.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part I The Pollyanna Period

1 Congratulations, Now Where Do I Slot “Baby” in Outlook? 9

2 CU Wouldn't Want 2BU/Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone? 27

3 On Leave: Vacation or Hell? You Make the Call 43

Part II The Bitch Is Back

4 Child Care: It'll Make You or Break You 65

5 The Breastraunt Is Open for Business: It's Official—You Are a Dairy Queen 98

6 Call the Help Desk—You Need Your Password! 120

7 Fake It Till You Make It (Looks Are Everything) 138

Part III The Crash

8 The Realities of the Working Mom: Business Trips, Diarrhea, a Leaking Roof, Pinkeye, Hand-Foot-and-Mouth Disease, Whining Employees, Pouting Husbands, and Other Issues That Drive You to the Brink of Insanity 161

9 Crazy Eyes and Other Signs That You've Officially Lost It 187

10 The Guilt Is Killing Me! 204

11 Your Career—The Sacrificial Lamb 214

Part IV Mommy Gets Her Mojo Back

12 Throwing Money, Mothers-in-Law, and More Money at the Problem 233

13 You Are Not Your Husband's Mother 257

14 Fried Eggs for Dinner and Other Time-Saving Tips 273

Part V We've Got Your Back

15 The Circle of Trust 297

16 Taking Care of You: More Than the Three S's (Shower, Sh*t, and Shave) 310

Epilogue: Yes, It's Hard, but We're Not About to Change It 325

Acknowledgments 327

Resources 331

Index 337

Editorial Reviews

"Balance Is a Crock provides straightforward advice from moms who know your pain. For the working mom who is under stress, this book is like a spa day for your psyche!"
-Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, author of Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay

"An indispensible and laugh-out-loud hilarious bible for working mothers. You definitely cannot have it all but having this book will help you keep your sanity."
-Amy Sohn, author of Prospect Park West

"You needn't be an office-dweller to benefit from their wisdom: Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak is for every mother who has felt she was juggling too many jobs to do any of them well, for every mother bedeviled by guilt and the endless hamster-wheel pursuit of perfection. In other words, for all of us."
-Alexa Stevenson, author of Half Baked and creator of Flotsam (flotsamblog.com)

"A must read for all those who struggle to manage the chaos of modern motherhood."
-Amy Keroes, Founder & CEO, mommytracked.com

"This wickedly funny book debunks once and for all the myth that you can balance children and anything else in life, offering comfort, smart advice and humor for those times when motherhood feels like a sitcom in which you are the only audience member."
-Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Crazy Love and Mommy Wars, and columnist for Mommy Tracked

"Like a bracing, affectionate talking to from a (funnier and more experienced) dear friend, Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak is the perfect irreverent self-help manifesto for any working mom who struggles to keep it together. That is: just about all of us."
-Kristin van Ogtrop, Editor of Real Simple and author of Just Let Me Lie Down

"Get ready to laugh out loud, Balance Is a Crock provides no-nonsense, tell-it-how-it-is advice and practical tips for any mom who is trying to navigate working motherhood. No matter what age or stage your kids are in, this book will remind you that one of the most invaluable assets you need to survive is your sense of humor."
-Cate Colburn-Smith and Andrea Serrette, authors of The Milk Memos

From the Publisher