04/19/2021
Filmmaker Selvaratnam (The Big Lie) traces the harrowing story of her relationship with former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman in this courageous work. Following her explosive admission in the New Yorker in 2018 about Schneiderman’s abuse, she unflinchingly shares details of the violence she endured. Selvaratnam met Schneiderman at the 2016 Democratic National Convention, where they connected over their progressive ideals. Soon after, they started dating. Schneiderman was a rising public figure, but in their relationship, she writes, he became a “nightmare” and would slap and choke her during sex, and called her “his property.” Despite being a successful woman in her 40s, she stayed with him. Recently divorced, Selvaratnam writes she “was weakened with regard to romance” and that Schneiderman “had a history of breaking strong women down.” After a year of abuse and threats, she finally sought the aid of friends, and when news broke about Harvey Weinstein, they helped her leave him. The revelation that Schneiderman abused another ex-girlfriend inspired her to come forward to the New Yorker, leading to his resignation. In capping her account, Selvaratnam offers advice and resources for victims of abuse, emphasizing, “you are not alone and you are not crazy.” This gripping story is not to be missed. Agent: Meg Thompson, Thompson Literary. (Feb.)
“Assume Nothing is raw, gut-wrenching, and honest in its exposure of how—and why—women find themselves trapped in the stories that comprised their childhoods, with particular attention to the shame that comes from believing that they should have known better.” — Library Journal (starred review)
“Crystal prose, precise and calm, grants Selvaratnam’s narrative of manipulative abuse, a profound ethical clarity. A grave book, a powerful and essential book.” — Kiran Desai, Man Booker Prize-winning author of The Inheritance of Loss
“Part survivor’s tale and part exposé of intimate violence, the book offers a candid, often frightening exploration of the diabolically schizophrenic ways that the patriarchy conspires to disempower women.” — Kirkus Reviews
“Assume Nothing is a harrowing story of the illusions we live with about power and authority and the splits between our public and private selves. This book illustrates how vulnerable we all are; even those who outwardly seem so strong have ancient fractures, points of entry where we are susceptible to the debilitating darkness of others.” — A.M. Homes, author of The Mistress’s Daughter and May We Be Forgiven
“This courageous and terrifying book charts the author’s descent into an abusive relationship and also her emergence from it in taut, seductive prose. Selvaratnam explains how—even as an educated, sophisticated, liberal feminist—she was enthralled by her lover’s fame and tolerated escalating personal violence. Her narrative is vivid and bracingly frank, a tour-de-force of self-revelation and, ultimately, of redemption.” — Andrew Solomon, National Book Award-winning author of Far from the Tree and The Noonday Demon
“In Assume Nothing, Selvaratnam very bravely and compellingly uses her personal experience to shine a light on the global crisis of violence against women. An important book for the women’s rights movement, Assume Nothing demonstrates that violence against women exists across race, class, economic status and education levels, and may be perpetrated by those we think of as allies! It dispels the myth that there are certain types of victims and perpetrators. It will help a lot of people, and particularly those who hesitate to identify as a victim/survivor for fear of losing their grounding both publicly and privately.” — Yasmeen Hassan, Global Executive Director, Equality Now
“Every woman who tells her story of experiencing sexual violence is brave. But it takes a particularly strong breed of courage to tell the story of how an outspoken advocate for women’s issues becomes embroiled in an abusive relationship, and that is Tanya Selvaratnam’s story. Assume Nothing is a vivid accounting of her experience, and it demolishes dozens of old cliches in one fell swoop: the stereotype of the typical victim, for one, and the image of the typical abuser, for another. Read it. It has the power to change how we all think—and what we put up with.” — Cindi Leive, journalist; senior fellow, USC Annenberg School for Communications and Journalism
“Assume Nothing is a searing account of Tanya Selvaratnam’s relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York. In lucid prose, she recounts the confusion of signals—the loving embrace turned choke hold—and her struggle to reclaim her voice and power. This book is a necessary and important addition to the conversation around #MeToo—and a gift to women everywhere.” — Danzy Senna, author of CAUCASIA and NEW PEOPLE
“Assume Nothing is a searing account of Tanya Selvaratnam’s relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York. In lucid prose, she recounts the confusion of signals—the loving embrace turned choke hold—and her struggle to reclaim her voice and power. This book is a necessary and important addition to the conversation around #MeToo—and a gift to women everywhere.
This courageous and terrifying book charts the author’s descent into an abusive relationship and also her emergence from it in taut, seductive prose. Selvaratnam explains how—even as an educated, sophisticated, liberal feminist—she was enthralled by her lover’s fame and tolerated escalating personal violence. Her narrative is vivid and bracingly frank, a tour-de-force of self-revelation and, ultimately, of redemption.”
Every woman who tells her story of experiencing sexual violence is brave. But it takes a particularly strong breed of courage to tell the story of how an outspoken advocate for women’s issues becomes embroiled in an abusive relationship, and that is Tanya Selvaratnam’s story. Assume Nothing is a vivid accounting of her experience, and it demolishes dozens of old cliches in one fell swoop: the stereotype of the typical victim, for one, and the image of the typical abuser, for another. Read it. It has the power to change how we all think—and what we put up with.
In Assume Nothing, Selvaratnam very bravely and compellingly uses her personal experience to shine a light on the global crisis of violence against women. An important book for the women’s rights movement, Assume Nothing demonstrates that violence against women exists across race, class, economic status and education levels, and may be perpetrated by those we think of as allies! It dispels the myth that there are certain types of victims and perpetrators. It will help a lot of people, and particularly those who hesitate to identify as a victim/survivor for fear of losing their grounding both publicly and privately.”
Crystal prose, precise and calm, grants Selvaratnam’s narrative of manipulative abuse, a profound ethical clarity. A grave book, a powerful and essential book.
“Assume Nothing is a harrowing story of the illusions we live with about power and authority and the splits between our public and private selves. This book illustrates how vulnerable we all are; even those who outwardly seem so strong have ancient fractures, points of entry where we are susceptible to the debilitating darkness of others.
Assume Nothing is a harrowing story of the illusions we live with about power and authority and the splits between our public and private selves. This book illustrates how vulnerable we all are; even those who outwardly seem so strong have ancient fractures, points of entry where we are susceptible to the debilitating darkness of others.
★ 02/01/2021
With its epigraph from Terry Tempest Williams's When Women Were Birds and chapter titles that invoke the fairy tale tropes her story dismantles, Assume Nothing is raw, gut-wrenching, and honest in its exposure of how—and why—women find themelves trapped in the stories that comprised their childhoods, with particular attention to the shame that comes from believing that they should have known better. Selvaratnam has written this for other women, in an effort to amplify the voices of people who lack the visibility she gained in the aftermath of going public about experiencing abuse by former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. She writes with tremendous personal vulnerability, yet never loses sight of the broader policies and data surrounding domestic violence, which lends her work strength as a memoir and as a polemic. By taking Schneiderman's own language and using it as a framework for exploring the complexity of domestic violence, Selvaratnam has successfully undermined the damaging rhetoric designed to prevent women from recognizing themselves as experiencing abuse, especially in situations where there is an imbalance of power. VERDICT A searing, yet sensitive account of vulnerability and redemption that will find a wide audience.—Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI
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