Read an Excerpt
Chapter 3: Training The Mind For Happiness
The Path To Happiness
In identifying one's mental state as the prime factor in achieving happiness, of course that doesn't deny that our basic physical needs for food, clothing, and shelter must be met. But once these basic needs are met, the message is clear: we don't need more money, we don't need greater success or fame, we don't need the perfect body or even the perfect mate-rigbt now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness.
In presenting his approach to working with the mind, the Dalai Lama began, "When we refer to 'mind' or 'consciousness, I there are many different varieties. Just like external conditions or objects, some things are very useful, some are very harmful, and some are neutral. So when dealing with external matter, usually we first try to identify which of these different substances or chemicals are helpful, so we can take care to cultivate, increase, and use them. And those substances which are harmful, we get rid of. So similarly, when we talk about mind, there are thousands of different thoughts or different 'minds.' Among them, some are very helpful; those, we should take and nourish. Some are negative, very harmful; those, we should try to reduce.
"So, the first step in seeking happiness is learning. We first have to learn how negative emotions and behaviors are harmful to us and how positive emotions are helpful. And we must realize how these negative emotions are not only very bad and harmful to one personally but harmful to society and the future of the whole world as well.That kind of realization enhances our determination to face and overcome them. And then, there is the realization of the beneficial aspects of the positive emotions and behaviors. Once we realize that, we become determined to cherish, develop, and increase those positive emotions no matter how difficult that is. There is a kind of spontaneous willingness from within. So through this process of learning, of analyzing which thoughts and emotions are beneficial and which are harmful, we gradually develop a firm determination to change, feeling, 'Now the secret to my own happiness, my own good future, is within my own hands. I must not miss that opportunity!'
"In Buddhism, the principle of causality is accepted as a natural law. In dealing with reality, you have to take that law into account. So, for instance, in the case of everyday experiences, if there are certain types of events that you do not desire, then the best method of ensuring that that event does not take place is to make sure that the causal conditions that normally give rise to that event no longer arise. Similarly, if you want a particular event or experience to occur, then the logical thing to do is to seek and accumulate the causes and conditions that give rise to it. "This is also the case with mental states and experiences. If you desire happiness, you should seek the causes that give rise to it, and if you don't desire suffering, then what you should do is to ensure that the causes and conditions that would give rise to it no longer arise. An appreciation of this causal principle is very important.
"Now, we have spoken of the supreme importance of the mental factor in achieving happiness. Our next task, therefore, is to examine the variety of mental states that we experience. We need to clearly identify different mental states and make a dis-tinction, classifying them according to whether they lead to happiness or not." "Can you give some specific examples of different mental states and describe how you would classify them?" I asked.
The Dalai Lama explained, "Now for instance, hatred, jealousy, anger, and so on are harmful. We consider them negative states of mind because they destroy our mental happiness; once you harbor feelings of hatred or ill feeling towards someone, once you yourself are filled by hatred or negative emotions, then other people appear to you as also hostile. So as a result there is more fear, greater inhibition and hesitation, and a sense of insecurity. These things develop, and also loneliness in the midst of a world perceived as hostile. All these negative feelings develop because of hatred. On the other hand, mental states such as kindness and compassion are definitely very positive. They are very useful. . ."
"I'm just curious," I interrupted. "You mention that there are thousands of different states of mind. What would be your definition of a psychologically healthy or well -adjusted person? We might use such a definition as a guideline in determining which mental states to cultivate and which ones to eliminate."
He laughed, then with his characteristic humility he responded, "As a psychiatrist, you might have a better definition of a psychologically healthy person."
"But I mean from your standpoint."
"Well, I would regard a compassionate, warm, kindhearted person as healthy. If you maintain a feeling of compassion, loving kindness, then something automatically opens your inner door. Through that, you can communicate much more easily with other people. And that feeling of warmth creates a kind of openness. You'll find that all human beings are just like you, so you'll be able to relate to them more easily. That gives you a spirit of friendship. Then there's less need to hide things, and as a result, feelings of fear, self-doubt, and insecurity are automatically dispelled. Also, it creates a feeling of trust from other people. Otherwise, for example, you might find someone who is very competent, and you know that you can trust that person's competence. But if you sense that person is not kind, then you have to hold something back. You feel that 'Oh, I know that person can do things, but can I really trust him?' so you will always have a certain apprehension which creates a kind of distance from him.
"So, anyway, I think that cultivating positive mental states like kindness and compassion definitely leads to better psycho-logical health and happiness...."
