Read an Excerpt
All We Have Is All We Need
DAILY STEPS TOWARD A PEACEFUL LIFE
By Karen Casey Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
Copyright © 2006 Karen Casey
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-60925-117-8
CHAPTER 1
Honor Our Common Path I
DEVELOPING A WILLINGNESS TO LEARN, FORGIVE, AND MAKE AMENDS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS
The men and women who share our journey today, along with those who shared it yesterday and those who will come calling tomorrow, do not make their appearances coincidentally. We share this path by design, because of the lessons we need to learn from one another. We have on some level selected one another, and it's within these carefully selected relationships that the lessons we need to learn present themselves. The people we meet today are our teachers.
And we switch roles, moment by moment. In one instance we may be the teacher, and in the next the student. The dance is what matters.
That doesn't make every experience easy, however. Some lessons are very difficult, in fact. But, usually, the difficulty lies in our resistance to embracing the lesson, to seeing the experience as hopeful or beneficial or spiritual or necessary to the growth we are ready to enjoy. And our resistance usually invites resistance from our teacher, too. It is helpful to remember that our Higher Power is part of the equation.
Being in the role of teacher or student in all our relationships is the constant in our lives. That's the exciting news, and it makes all interactions purposeful. We may choose not to appreciate the purpose or learn the lesson that's calling to us, and that's okay. A similar experience, with a similar lesson, will come our way at another time. We are not being held to a specific timeframe. We are held only to the lessons. When we learn them is up to us.
The ultimate lesson, of course, is forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves and of one another. And we can best accomplish this through making amends when we have harmed ourselves or others. The healing that fills our hearts and the hearts of our companions on this path when we make an amend is the substance that allows each one of us to carry the message of hope and love to all the people we meet on a daily basis. No one heals in isolation. Every opportunity we take to extend ourselves to others in a forgiving way heals hearts. And never just one ...
The simple but powerful ideas in this part of the book will help you, one day at a time, to look carefully at your relationships, approaching them more lovingly or openly or honestly, with full awareness that they are exactly the relationships you need in order to grow into the person you are meant to be. A particular relationship may not seems like a blessing when we're in the midst of an argument, but if we remember that all arguments are masking fear and that a loving response is always the right response, we can incorporate the experience into our journey in a way that makes our "trip" what it is supposed to be.
Let's not waste any more time. Let's look at every person and every experience throughout the day with the joy and gratitude that they deserve. Without these people, without these experiences, we would not be capable of doing the work we have been called here to do. No one of us is without purpose, just as no experience is without purpose. We must do our part toward making this world a more peaceful place; each person we meet is an opportunity that's been divinely sent to us for extending the love that is necessary to heal our personal lives, our communities, and the world beyond us too.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Only one person has to be kind for a relationship or situation to dramatically change. I will be kind today.
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We will not hear the messages we need to hear if we isolate ourselves from the message carriers.
I will join with others today and trust in the process of life.
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Listening is a tool that will help heal our relationships. I can make the commitment to listen today.
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
We are helping or hindering ourselves and one another each time we speak. I will remember this today.
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Our relationship to the world community is helped by our willingness to listen to the travelers on our path. I will pay attention to them.
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Difficult relationships generally have the most to teach us. Am I willing to learn?
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We need the people who are sharing our journey, all of them. They have much to teach us, and we them. Do I show up for the lessons?
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Each lesson needs our acceptance so that we can offer our insights to another person who is journeying with us. We are constantly students and teachers. I will likely be both today.
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The primary lesson in this life is to forgive ourselves and one another. I can release any grudge or resentment I may be holding on to. I will begin by developing the willingness to forgive today.
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All struggles, big and small, allow us to give and receive forgiveness.
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
Being willing to resolve any conflict contributes to world peace. I can do my part today by making a small decision.
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Experiencing one peaceful relationship will change every experience one has.
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There is really only one relationship to heal. Am I showing up lovingly?
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When we commit to healing one relationship, all relationships benefit. Am I willing to change my behavior today?
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Changing our behavior in one relationship makes it easier to change it in all relationships. Can I take the first step today?
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Our judgment of others holds us hostage while it harms those we judge. Am I willing to give up my judgments today?
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Our growth in relationships depends on our willingness to love and forgive. Sitting in judgment prevents both. Is there someone I should forgive today?
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
The travelers on our path are exactly where they are supposed to be. The same is true for us. Am I willing to appreciate this fact today?
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Every person we meet has been chosen to share our path. Our willingness to cherish this idea gives all our encounters the meaning they deserve. Am I seeking the opportunity for growth that is present within every experience?
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Each time any one of us remembers that God is always present, we help those individuals who are not, in that moment, remembering. I am willing to do my part in helping others remember today.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Never lament what appears to be a failed relationship. Every relationship has played a part in our journey. Am I grateful for this understanding today?
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Being courteous makes us feel good, just as it pleases those who are sharing our journey today.
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Relationships allow us to heal. Isolation prevents our healing. Am I making healthy choices today?
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Our isolation harms the people who need us on their journey at the same time that it's harming us. Am I willing to reach out today?
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
Being in a relationship with others is why we are on this journey. Don't resist the opportunities to grow that present themselves today.
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There is no discussion that cannot be helped by the remembrance that God is present at the discussion too. Be alert to God today.
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Resentments clearly injure us. And others. Our relationships are intentional. Ask, "What do I need to see today? Is there an amend that needs to be made?"
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Forgiveness heals, ourselves and others too. Am I willing to forgive a friend or perhaps a stranger today?
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We cannot feel resentment and forgiveness at the same time. The choice is obvious.
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Regardless of any painful experience, it must finally be forgiven if we are to know peace in all our relationships. Am I willing to consider this possibility today?
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The accumulation of unforgiven resentments becomes "the stuff" of wars. Ask, "Am I contributing to peace today?"
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
The greatest deed for humankind we can contribute today is forgiveness. Do I need to seek an opportunity to forgive a past hurt today?
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Forgiveness honors others. It softens us, too. I may have an opportunity to help two or more people today. Will I take it?
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Be grateful for every relationship. It has come our way by design. Even those relationships we are not peaceful in have something to offer us if we change how we see them. Am I looking?
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Seemingly insignificant relationships are as important as the very memorable ones. Believing this will change every experience in one's life.
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Difficult relationships educate us. We need them. We can walk away, and the lesson they are offering will come in another way, on another day. The decision to stay is ours. Today may be the day for making this decision.
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Remember that "who you see is who you are" in the moment of seeing. Understanding this can change the complexion of every relationship. Am I seeing what I want to see today?
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
Our relationships teach us everything we have come here to learn. Are you taking advantage of your opportunities today?
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Relationships teach us how to forgive. They also present opportunities for making amends. Our hearts are softened by both. That's why they are significant. Do I need to do one or the other today?
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We cannot learn how forgiveness feels in isolation. And forgiveness is what ushers peace into our lives and into the lives of those we journey with, both here and elsewhere.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Isolation never, ever solves a problem. It will however, complicate it. I will focus my energy on being present to my teachers today. My solution will be found there.
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Every relationship is connected to every other relationship one has. None are inviolate. Can I honor this idea today by how I treat every person I encounter?
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To do no harm is a shortcut to improving all relationships. Making this choice even once today will have a positive influence.
HONOR OUR COMMON PATH
Doing no harm in one relationship miraculously improves all relationships. Experience this miracle today.
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Every person who refrains from harming someone today improves the relationships of every other person today.
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The choice to do no harm is the least complicated choice to make today.
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Any discomfort tells us that we have work to do in our relationships. Maybe it's time to make an amend. I am willing to consider this possibility today.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Being in relationships with others is why we are here. Am I fully appreciative of this information today?
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What you give in one relationship, you give in all relationships. Today is no exception.
CHAPTER 2
Take the Road to Peace II
LETTING GO, SURRENDERING THE NEED TO CONTROL, AND ACCEPTING WHAT IS
The desire to control our loved ones and the events in our lives is seductive, very powerful, and so very foolish. We are all guilty of trying to control other people, but we will never find peace by making a hostage of someone. The men and women in our lives are there for only one purpose: they are our preselected teachers. Every interaction is divine. Every encounter is intentional.
Surrendering our attempts to be in charge of other people or events relieves us of a huge burden. It may seem like there is too little to do if we're not trying to make others do our will. Trying to manage everything has become our job. But being in charge of our own behaviors and attitudes is a full-time job, and it's the only one we need! We will eventually love the freedom that we feel if we give up the illusion of control. We never really had it anyway. We only thought we did.
Letting others live their own lives takes willingness coupled with practice. One of the gifts of letting go of control over other people's lives is that it gives us the time to attend to our own needs and decisions. In the process, we discover that we have very rich lives that are quite separate from our loved ones', lives that are full of joy and promise. When we focus on the details of other people's lives, we're not able to see the opportunities for new experiences that have been trying to get our attention all along. Lucky for us, they've waited, and they will continue to do so until we are ready to notice them.
Alongside of giving up control over people and experiences is acceptance of the people and events in our lives as they are. Careful attention will reveal that every conversation, every event, has a message for us and every person has a part to play in the drama that's unfolding in our lives. We don't have to understand why an experience has captured our attention or why a particular person has come calling. It's appropriate to celebrate the importance of our interactions no matter where they happen; they are the experiences that carry us to the next stage of our education. In many instances of conflict with our companions, we—and the relationship—will be best served if we remain quiet. Or perhaps simply smile rather than turn away. The practice of accepting what has arisen as an opportunity for growth and then letting go of any desire to control it is the right response. Surrendering to a situation where necessary, and letting God be in charge of all people and outcomes, will make all our relationships more fun and more peaceful. We do get what we need. Just not always what we want.
Our entire perspective on life, on one another and on why we are here begins to change when we release our grip on the people and the outcomes that are hovering around our experiences. Take a deep breath, and let go. And let the messages that follow on the next few pages guide your daily affairs. Each message suggests a simple task. The effect can be quite profound, however.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Detachment is not indifference. And it doesn't mean we don't love and respect someone. On the contrary, it is a true expression of love. Today, my experiences will be opportunities for expressing detachment.
* * *
To understand acceptance, when you are experiencing a struggle, change places with the other person for a moment. How does this feel in your heart? Practice this exercise today.
* * *
The freedom of saying nothing rather than something hurtful is empowering. Try it today.
TAKE THE ROAD TO PEACE
Do you want to discover the solution to your problem today? Surrender your grasp on it, and wait for your answer.
* * *
How we see everyone on our path is a choice. Praying for the "kinder vision" makes acceptance a reality. Today offers us an opportunity to practice this.
* * *
Every conversation we have is intentional. Let's listen closely today and accept the message.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Don't shy away from any person. His or her presence here is by design. At the end of the day, take note of what you learned.
* * *
Those people who seem to appear in our lives again and again are being drawn to us. Let's be grateful for their presence and our need for one another. Do you wonder what the lesson is?
* * *
The people we need for the lessons we are ready for will follow us until we surrender to the lesson. Maybe we should grow into acceptance today.
TAKE THE ROAD TO PEACE
Surrendering to the experiences that have been hand-picked for our growth makes the journey easier, more hopeful, and more peaceful. Today is a chance to practice this.
* * *
There is no struggle too big to relinquish today.
* * *
Not having to win an argument is huge. Why not experience this today?
* * *
Being the first one to back away from a conflict sets a wonderful example. Today could prove to be very peaceful.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Demonstrating for others that opinions can be relinquished is a worthy action. Can I give up an argument today?
* * *
Each time we walk away from a conflict, we make walking away the next time easier. I will no doubt have an opportunity to do this today.
* * *
Gentleness lowers one's anxiety while it raises the possibility for resolution to whatever is causing one's tension. I can develop this by breathing deeply before speaking today.
TAKE THE ROAD TO PEACE
Being humble means being willing to accept our shortcomings and then learn from them. I will have an opportunity to practice humility today.
* * *
Loving detachment releases all of us. It is the easiest method of discovering peace too. Today is certain to offer an opportunity to practice this.
* * *
Truly letting go of one person teaches us how easy it is to let go of other people too. "Let go" will be my mantra today.
ALL WE HAVE IS ALL WE NEED
Seeing the good in a situation is little more than a decision. But it's a decision that needs to be made every day. Today is a beginning.
* * *
God is forever among us. Does that realization inform your decisions? It should. Practice remembering God today.
* * *
If you are feeling negative about a situation, you can choose to remain quiet. It's very empowering, in fact, to make this choice. Try it.
TAKE THE ROAD TO PEACE
Making the choice to surrender rather than fight changes more than just ourselves. One resolution benefits many struggles. I will be a peacemaker today.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from All We Have Is All We Need by Karen Casey. Copyright © 2006 Karen Casey. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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