![All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss](http://img.images-bn.com/static/redesign/srcs/images/grey-box.png?v11.9.4)
All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss
![All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss](http://img.images-bn.com/static/redesign/srcs/images/grey-box.png?v11.9.4)
All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss
eBook
Available on Compatible NOOK devices, the free NOOK App and in My Digital Library.
Related collections and offers
Overview
“The tumultuous feelings that accompany pregnancy loss are hard to describe, and women who experience this often feel terribly alone in their grief. But All the Love, written by three wise and compassionate women, offers much-needed understanding, consolation, wisdom, and hope. Its heartfelt and caring message will provide solace and guidance to those who have lost babies as well as those who seek to support them.” –Christine Gross-Loh Author, Parenting Without Borders and co-author, The Path
All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss is a book dedicated to supporting and empowering women and their partners through miscarriage, stillbirth, and other types of pregnancy loss.
The book is part memoir, part therapy session; combining the personal story of Kim Hooper, who endured four losses, with therapeutic insights from Meredith Resnick (a licensed social worker) and Dr. Huong Diep (a board-certified psychologist). It is our hope that reading this book feels like sitting and chatting with someone about their experience, while therapist-friends listen in to provide clarity and comfort.
All the Love is the most in-depth book available to console women and partners in the wake of pregnancy loss. Topics include how to navigate the medical part of pregnancy loss, the emotional rollercoaster of grief, connecting with your partner, returning to “normal” life, rediscovering yourself, deciding whether to try again and having a baby after a loss. The book touches on considerations for LGBTQ+ couples and people facing racial, cultural, or socioeconomic issues that compound their grief.
For a loss that is so common, each woman’s story is beautifully unique. We want each woman to feel seen in this book. We want her to feel validated and hopeful as she steps into what’s next on her journey.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781684425587 |
---|---|
Publisher: | Turner |
Publication date: | 03/23/2021 |
Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
Format: | eBook |
File size: | 2 MB |
About the Author
Meredith Resnick worked in healthcare for two decades and maintains a strong interest in healing through the expressive arts. Her creative nonfiction has appeared in the Washington Post, JAMA, PsychologyToday.com, Los Angeles Times, Newsweek, Motherwell and others. This is her first book.
Dr. Huong Diep is a board certified psychologist and has provided clinical services, assessments and international trainings and consultations for over ten years. She is passionate about the intersection of gender, language, and culture and is an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.
Table of Contents
Kim's story xv
Meredith's story xviii
Huong's story xx
A loss like no other
Why, why, why? 1
It's about the baby-and so much more 3
Different kinds of loss
Chemical pregnancy 10
Ectopic pregnancy 12
Blighted ovum 16
Molar pregnancy 18
First-trimester miscarriage 21
Second-trimester miscarriage 24
Preterm delivery 30
Stillbirth 31
Different circumstances
When the pregnancy wasn't planned 35
When the pregnancy was very much planned 39
When you were pregnant with more than one child 41
When you already have a child (or children) 43
When you've struggled with infertility 48
When you had to make the difficult decision to end a pregnancy 51
The medical part of pregnancy loss
Why didn't anyone tell me about all the blood? 55
The hormones are real 60
Dealing with all the doctor's appointments 63
Looking for answers 66
When doctors don't say the right things 69
The care you're probably not getting 74
Shock, guilt, shame, loneliness, anger, despair, anxiety-the gang's all here
Shock and confusion
Is this really happening? 78
It wasn't supposed to be this way 80
Guilt and shame
Is this my fault? 83
I feel like a failure 87
Loneliness and isolation
If it's so common, why do I feel so alone? 91
I just want to hide from the world 94
Anger
My favorite stage of grief 98
The "It's not fair" tantrum 101
Betrayal
Feeling betrayed by my body 103
Feeling betrayed by nature 105
Feeling betrayed by God 107
Sadness and despair
Is it normal to be this sad? 110
Crying all the tears … or not 113
Dealing with depression 116
Anxiety and posttraumatic stress
Feeling a loss of control 120
I'm worried about more bad things happening 122
Why am I obsessed with death? 127
Posttraumatic stress: It's a thing 130
Understanding your grief process
What is the "process" anyway? 138
How long is this going to last? 143
Riding the grief rollercoaster 147
Physical signs of grief 152
Grieving in a society that sucks at grief
Feeling pressure to "move on" 156
All the unhelpful things people say 161
When people say nothing at all 171
The Pity Face 174
What I wish people would say 176
Connecting with your baby
Who was my baby? 180
A little ceremony goes a long way 182
Writing to my baby 185
Where is my baby now? 189
Tracking a pregnancy that is no more 191
Connecting with your partner
Grieving differently 194
Understanding your Other Half 202
Can my relationship survive this? 208
Intimacy after a loss 215
When your partner can't give you the support you need 219
When you don't have a partner 221
Thoughts for LGBTQ+ couples 223
Connecting with others
Joining the Pregnancy Loss Club 230
Navigating social media 233
How friendships can change 238
Getting professional help 240
Returning to "normal" life (whatever that means)
Feeling disoriented 246
Triggers at every turn 248
Acting like you're fine (not recommended) 251
Going back to work 253
When grief sneaks up on you 257
Coping with holidays and celebrations 259
Triggering dates 263
Dealing with other people having babies
Why does pregnancy seem to be everywhere? 266
All the triggered feelings-anger, sadness, envy, shame, guilt 270
My kind-of-bitchy open letter to expecting mothers 273
The dreaded baby showers 276
Rediscovering (and loving) who you are
Finding faith 280
Will I ever feel like me again? 284
Self-compassion and self-care 286
Coming back to my body 290
Moments of joy 293
Finding meaning 296
Trying again … or not
Should we try again? 301
I want to try again, but I'm terrified 306
When you and your partner aren't on the same page 309
Deciding not to try again 312
Getting pregnant after a loss
When it feels like you're holding your breath for nine months 315
Coping with the anxiety 319
I'm having trouble connecting with my baby 322
To tell people, or not to tell people 326
More unhelpful things people will say 328
Why do I still resent pregnant women? 332
Allowing for hope and gratitude 335
Having a baby after a loss
Giving birth 338
A word about "rainbow babies" 342
I'm still afraid something bad is going to happen 344
Is it normal to still be sad? 349
Am I allowed to think the newborn days are hard? 351
What if I forget the baby I lost? 355
How loss taught me about mothering 357
When grief gets (more) complicated
When you have multiple losses 361
When there is no "happy ending" 363
When racial, cultural, and socioeconomic issues come into play 365
When you have a history of loss or trauma 371
When your loss happens at the same time as another loss 373
When your loss feels overshadowed by a major event 375
When your loss causes financial stress 378
When things get political, religious, or otherwise emotionally charged 381
Moving forward from here 385
Acknowledgments 386
Bibliography 387
References 389
Appendix
Charities and organizations 403
Helpful websites 404
Books about pregnancy loss 404
Resources for health-care providers 405
Questionnaires and screeners
Perinatal Grief Scale 407
Generalized Anxiety Disorder 7-item (GAD-7) Scale 410
Patient Health Questionnaire-9 (PHQ-9) 411
PTSD Checklist for DSM-5 (PCL-5) 412
Life Events Checklist (LEC) 414
Patient Stress Questionnaire 416