Table of Contents
A Disclaimer 1
Chapter 1 Gelato Is an Excellent Substance in Which to Drown Your Sorrows 7
Chapter 2 Sometimes You Run Screaming from the Person You're Madly in Love With 23
Chapter 3 The Contents of My Mother's Carry-On Look Like Evidence from a Prison Riot 39
Chapter 4 In Which I Am Surprised to Learn That Getting Lost Doesn't Bring About the Apocalypse 59
Chapter 5 Life Lessons from a Three-Hundred-Year-Old Dead Guy and His Boring Clock 75
Chapter 6 You Take the Grenade My Mom Brought to Dinner; I'll Book Our Flight-Finding Balance in Relationships 97
Chapter 7 Marry Someone Who Will Help You Deal with Your Shit 119
Chapter 8 Listen to Your Heart, Even If It Tells You to Steal Things 133
Chapter 9 Home Is Where Your MRI Is 147
Chapter 10 It's Always Easier to Leave for a Trip Than to Be Left Behind 155
Chapter 11 Bucket Lists Are Just Plain Greedy 169
Chapter 12 Is There a Gaelic Word for "I'm Freaked Out About Our Marriage"? 183
Chapter 13 Salvation Looks a Lot Like Wisconsin 197
Chapter 14 Turns Out, Things Aren't Always What They Seem 209
Chapter 15 Munich-Land of Sausages and Epiphanies 229
Chapter 16 Where There's a Fiat, There's a Way 245
Chapter 17 Just Go 267
Acknowledgments 271
