12/23/2013
Bremer, associate publisher of the Sun, explores the points of connection—and potential conflict—in her marriage to Libyan-born Ismail. Bremer, a surfing aficionado, feminist, avid traveler, and aspiring journalist, was not looking for a commitment when she began dating the older Ismail and shortly thereafter became unexpectedly pregnant. Her eventual surrender to a different kind of imagined future forms one of the memoir's central themes, as does the couple's evolving conversations on such issues as circumcising their son and encouraging their daughter's desire to wear the Muslim headscarf to school. One extended section recounts the couple's first visit to Libya, a trip during which Bremer addresses the political realities of Ismail's home country and finds herself alienated from and unexpectedly drawn to Ismail's family, so unlike her own white suburban American one. The memoir does not, however, offer similar insights into Ismail's (assumed) interactions with Bremer's extended family—such a focus could have offered rich potential for critical examination of and revelations about Bremer's own upbringing rather than merely the exotic otherness represented by Ismail's clan. Nevertheless, Bremer's particular story strikingly highlights the (usually more mundane) cultural clashes and compromises inherent to every marriage or long-term relationship. (Apr.)
My Accidental Jihad is a bold piece of writing (and thinking) by an incredibly brave woman.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, author of The Signature of All Things and Eat, Pray, Love“Utterly absorbing . . . A beautiful book.” —Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild“Candid and rich.” —Good Housekeeping“Lucid, heartfelt and profoundly humane, My Accidental Jihad navigates the boundaries of religion and politics to arrive at the universal experience of love.” —G. Willow Wilson, author of Alif the Unseen“A beautiful account of [Bremer’s] jihad, or struggle, to find peace within herself and within her marriage.” —The Kansas City Star“Readers of memoir will welcome this love story about patience and kindness and learning the importance of putting culture first.” —Library Journal “A moving, lyrical memoir . . . A sweet and rewarding journey of a book.” —Kirkus Reviews“Told with rare honesty, My Accidental Jihad is the story of Krista Bremer's lifelong quest for insight and understanding, a search that leads her out of the Pacific surf to journalism school in North Carolina and through the complex challenges and unexpected joys of a cross-cultural marriage and family. This book is a powerfully personal account of the courage and hard work necessary to open one's heart and keep it that way.” —Maggie Shipstead, author of Seating Arrangements“My Accidental Jihad is one of the most captivating and moving memoirs I've read in years. The story Krista Bremer tells—one of radical foreignness between a married couple—could be a metaphor for all committed relationships.” —Haven Kimmel, author of A Girl Named Zippy
2014-02-16
A moving, lyrical memoir about how an American essayist fell in love with a Libyan-born Muslim man and learned to embrace the life she made with him. Sun associate publisher Bremer was a wayward former California surfer girl just starting to build her life in North Carolina when she met Ismail. He was 15 years older than she and different from her in almost every possible way. Yet his gentle simplicity made her feel as though she could "finally exhale…and [open] up to [herself]" in ways she had not been able to with anyone else. When she unexpectedly became pregnant not long after they met, she faced a difficult choice: terminate the pregnancy and continue her pursuit of a promising career in journalism or keep the baby and accept Ismail's heartfelt offer of marriage. Unable to resist the mysterious allure of the future she "never intended—or even knew how much [she] wanted," Bremer chose to "stitch [their] mismatched lives together to make a family." Among the many challenges she encountered was coming to terms with Ismail's loving but traditionalist family in Tripoli. To them, she was a woman "weighed down by so much individualism, impatience, and desire." Yet through her visits with them, she also learned to temper the Western individualism she came to realize had been the source of the "creeping despair that comes from doggedly chasing the elusive dream that women can be everything at once." As she gradually came to accept a different way of living—and eventually, worshipping—in middle-class America, Bremer grew to appreciate Ismail, her extended family and the struggle they brought into her life more than she even imagined possible. A sweet and rewarding journey of a book.
An honest—and at times painful—portrayal of a beautiful union.”
—BookPage
“My Accidental Jihad is a bold piece of writing (and thinking) by an incredibly brave woman.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, author of The Signature of All Things and Eat, Pray, Love
“Utterly absorbing . . . A beautiful book.” —Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild
“Candid and rich.” —Good Housekeeping
“Lucid, heartfelt and profoundly humane, My Accidental Jihad navigates the boundaries of religion and politics to arrive at the universal experience of love.” —G. Willow Wilson, author of Alif the Unseen“A beautiful account of [Bremer’s] jihad, or struggle, to find peace within herself and within her marriage.” —The Kansas City Star
“Readers of memoir will welcome this love story about patience and kindness and learning the importance of putting culture first.” —Library Journal “A moving, lyrical memoir . . . A sweet and rewarding journey of a book.” —Kirkus Reviews
“Told with rare honesty, My Accidental Jihad is the story of Krista Bremer's lifelong quest for insight and understanding, a search that leads her out of the Pacific surf to journalism school in North Carolina and through the complex challenges and unexpected joys of a cross-cultural marriage and family. This book is a powerfully personal account of the courage and hard work necessary to open one's heart and keep it that way.” —Maggie Shipstead, author of Seating Arrangements
“My Accidental Jihad is one of the most captivating and moving memoirs I've read in years. The story Krista Bremer tells--one of radical foreignness between a married couple--could be a metaphor for all committed relationships.” —Haven Kimmel, author of A Girl Named Zippy
Readers of memoir will welcome this love story about patience and kindness and learning the importance of putting culture first.”
—Library Journal
Sands’s calm tones connect the many realizations on Bremer’s rocky road to change and compassion.”
—AudioFile
If you’re going to bridge the distance between a Southern California upbringing and the world you enter when you marry a Libyan man, you’d better have a sense of humor, serious though your contemplations may be. Xe Sands strikes the balance between these two positions well. She moderates Krista Bremer’s wry perceptions with her sincere reflections—for example, as she attempts to explain to her husband (and herself) the commercial celebration of Christmas in contrast to the selfless devotions of Ramadan. There’s torment in making peace with the brutality of her son’s circumcision, which is part of her husband’s cultural belief system, but ultimately Bremer shows grace, and so does her husband. Sands’s calm tones connect the many realizations on Bremer’s rocky road to change and compassion. S.W. © AudioFile 2014, Portland, Maine
