Emotional security and self-esteem are two of the more important components of personality. Without the former, it is impossible to love, trust, respect and appreciate other people, and without the latter, it is impossible to love, trust, respect and appreciate oneself.
Serious social and behavioral problems associated with emotional insecurity and lack of self-esteem may not become obvious until the teen years or beyond. However, it is during early childhood that the fundamental tendencies form. These key elements of personality will continue to be influenced, for better or worse, by the winds of fortune throughout the life span; but an individual with strong foundations is likely to weather even the severest storms, whereas someone with weak foundations may succumb to the slightest breeze.
There is no doubt that each child is born with unique characteristics and that all children exhibit different temperamental inclinations right from the start. However, it is clear that a child's experiences with other people (particularly his parents) ultimately play a far greater role in shaping his personality than any genetic or biological factors.
In other words, the major portions of a child's personality begin to develop before the moment of birth. They progress through a series of stages, with each new step resting upon the former one. If the lower stages are built wide and firm, they will provide a solid base for whatever comes along later. If, on the other hand, the lower stages are shaky, the entire structure will become increasingly unstable as time goes by.
Therefore, mothers and fathers have an awesome responsibility to make sure that the roots of their child's emotional security and self-esteem are well nurtured. This task may seem even more formidable and intimidating because, for much of the early years, children are largely non-verbal and non-rational. Parents can – and should – tell their child that he is cherished and explain that he is someone special; but they also must realize and remember that their actions will always speaker louder than their words.
Fortunately, doing what needs to be done is relatively easy. In fact, much of what is involved may come naturally to many mothers and fathers; and armed with a little insight and a few simple suggestions, most parents will have no trouble pursuing appropriate policies and practices that will promote the optimal development of their child's personality.
