2020-03-19
This slim memoir and self-help book offers ideas for navigating grief.
In April 2010, Sardella’s wife, Margaret, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Devastated, the couple worried how they could maintain a normal life for their three school-age children as she pursued treatment. In 2013, the cancer metastasized to her liver, and after battling the disease for three more years, Margaret died in January 2017 at the age of 51. In this book, Sardella tells how he still grapples with the pain of Margaret’s death while continuing to move forward with his life. He also includes reflections from family members, including his children, and from friends, such as Margaret’s college roommate, and they relate their own experiences with grief. Although there are no written exercises, meditations, or organized assignments for readers that one usually finds in self-help books, there is heartfelt, worthwhile advice from experience. He also compassionately tackles some difficult topics, such as how he and his wife told the kids that their mother was dying and how hard it was to clean out the bedroom after Margaret was gone. There are upbeat ideas here, too, that may encourage a person who’s battling a disease; for example, the day that Margaret began her chemotherapy regimen, the author asked family and friends to send surprise photos to her phone of themselves wearing yellow—Margaret’s favorite color. Some of the author’s creative ideas for overcoming grief can be helpful to society as whole; for example, he memorialized Margaret by setting up a lacrosse scholarship in her name. But perhaps the best takeaway from the book is in how it shows how Sardella surrounds himself with consistently supportive people. It also includes 25 pages of black-and-white family photos.
An engaging act of catharsis for the author and a gentle embrace for grief-stricken readers.
