Read an Excerpt
A Deep Well of Strength
A 'Real Life' Novel - A Sequel to - "A Driving Force Within" (Part Two)
By BERNICE G. DYCK
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Bernice G. Dyck
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-3263-7
Chapter One
-1- Kelly thrashed around and moaned quietly. It was very hot ... and so dark! She was terrified! The walls were closing in on her! The darkness was dreadfully scary! And the heat was so bad that she could barely breathe! Panting, she threw the covers onto the floor, and then frantically groped around, scratching and gouging at the wall in a desperate attempt to escape from her putrid, stifling prison. She had to get out of there! She wanted desperately to scream, but for some reason she couldn't! When she opened her mouth, nothing came out, and although she felt an uncontrollable urge to shriek loud enough to pierce the endless silence, so she could be heard all around the world, something very strong seemed to be closing in around her throat, and it was all she could do to breathe.
She needed to escape! There must be a way out of here! She shuddered, remembering the time when she had tumbled out of the window and felt the terrible hurt in her arm as she hit the ground. But that memory was dim now, and the urge to escape was stronger than ever. The window was always locked now. That's why it was so hot, and so dark. But the need to breathe was all-consuming as she scrambled frantically across the floor to the window.
Curling up beneath the window sometimes helped her to settle down. A little of the breeze from the water seeped in, between the cracks in the frame, to provide relief, and she quietly curled up in the fetal position under the window, crooning softly. She felt, rather than heard the sounds from her throat and she sensed the air from the window, although she couldn't really feel it. But the panic continued to consume her and she ground her teeth together fiercely, mutilating the edges of her tongue as she squirmed in discomfort, moaned softly, and calmly proceeded to release her bladder.
Kelly's horrible, strangling screams shattered Molly's heart as she raced toward her granddaughter's room at the rear of the cottage. "Oh no, not again!" she panted as she barged into the room and found Kelly curled up in the middle of her bed, hugging her favourite teddy bear so hard the stuffing almost popped out, and screaming hysterically. Racing towardher, Mollycrooned, "Kelly. Kelly, don't cry. You're okay. Grandma's here, Kelly," she reassured as she gathered the trembling young body into her arms and hugged her tightly." It's okay, honey." But Molly knew that it wasn't okay, and she fervently wished that she could take away this hurt and make it her own so that she could understand it, if nothing else.
"I was so scared, Grandma. And I peed my pants," Kelly blubbered as she clung to her grandmother, trembling and sobbing loudly.
"Hush," Molly soothed as she held Kelly's trembling body close to her and gently rocked her back and forth. Glancing around, Molly noticed that most of the bedclothes were in a heap on the floor, and the sheet that remained on the bed looked perfectly dry. Loosening her hold and feeling around on the bed with one hand, Molly calmly reassured her granddaughter, "No you didn't, Kelly. You didn't pee your pants, honey. See, you're still dry. And even if you did, that wouldn't matter, Kelly. Relax. Don't cry. It was just a dream, sweetie."
"But I smelled it, Grandma," Kelly persisted. "It was so dark and hot, and I couldn't get out, and I wet my pants, and it smelled so bad ..."
"That's okay, Kelly," Molly persisted. "Really, everything's going to be okay, honey. It's just a dream, like the ones you used to have. You don't have to be afraid of a dream. Once you wake up, it goes away, remember?" But Molly knew this would be a long night, and Kelly would take a while to settle down again.
"I have to go to the bathroom, Grandma, but then I want to sleep with you, okay?" Kelly implored between sobs, the whole time clinging tenaciously to her grandma as the panicky feeling persisted.
Gently wiping Kelly's tear-stained cheeks and runny nose with a tissue, Molly kissed the child lovingly on both cheeks and scooped her up in her arms. "Of course you can, honey," she reassured. "Grandma will keep you safe now, don't you worry." But worry lines continued to crease Molly's brow long into the night.
-2-
Molly lay awake for a long time, stroking Kelly's legs and arms gently until the frightened child finally fell into an uneasy sleep. Even then Molly continued to lie awake, wondering anxiously if it had been wrong to bring her back to the cottage so soon. Kelly always loved coming to the cottage! Two summers ago, when she was three, Molly brought Kelly with her to Richardson's Retreat for a whole week. It was the first time the two of them had come to the lake alone. They decided to spend some time together, so they could get to know each other better, and to give Kelly's parents a much-needed break.
Even at such a tender young age, it seemed obvious during their first week at Richardson's Retreat that Kelly and Molly were kindred spirits. They both loved to sunbathe, to swim, and to build castles in the sand. They spent long hours walking hand-in-hand along the beach, collecting shells and driftwood, and each day they would take a few minutes to perch atop 'writer's rock' and talk about the wonders of God's universe as they shared a oneness with nature. After that, Kelly begged to come along each time Molly decided to spend a few days at this wonderful cabin on the eastern shore of Lake of the Woods. Although Kelly missed her mom and dad when she was at the lake, she loved her grandmother a lot, and they soon developed a special bond that was sometimes difficult for others to understand. But one thing was definitely obvious—Molly and Kelly thrived on each other's love!
Last summer had been a special time of rejuvenation for Molly. She always took time away from the busy schedule at her dress shop to enjoy a few days here and there at the lake during the spring and summer, but it wasn't what it used to be now that the children were grown up. Adam still came once in a while, but he was having even more trouble than Carla and Carolyn were as they tried rekindling the magic that the cottage once held for them. Ever since Kelly's birth, when Molly had been forced to reveal some deep, dark secrets about her children's parentage, there had been something lacking in their family closeness, something that prevented them from reigniting the old fires again. Perhaps, with a little more time, the wounds would heal.
Molly had forgiven! And she saw her children come a long way toward doing the same thing, but Adam was taking longer to find peace than the girls did, and Molly couldn't persuade him to come to the lake with her very often. Although she loved Lake of the Woods almost as much as she loved her family, without her children, there was something definitely missing. But last summer, Kelly helped Molly to find the magic again.
Kelly accompanied her several times throughout the season, and Carla and Carolyn joined them for a couple of days on two different occasions. Those times were especially wonderful, and Molly beamed there in the dark as she remembered how rejuvenating it had been for all of them to set aside the struggles of the previous four years and allow the sun, the sand and the solitude to heal so many of their wounds. Those were joyous times of rebirth and regrowth for everyone. But the girls were both studying to be psychologists now, and their assignments at the University kept them very busy. They were commuting to the city three times a week, and Molly was trying to do what she could to take the load off of Carolyn so that she could complete her studies at the same time as Carla. Having Kelly spend time with her grandmother gave Carolyn the periods of freedom that she needed, and Molly enjoyed every minute of the love and attention that she bestowed on, and received from, her precious granddaughter.
Kelly filled Molly's hours in a very special way that past summer, and, although the energy and exuberance of a four year old youngster tired her out completely each day, they were times she wouldn't have traded for anything. Kelly seemed to blossom forth and grow strong under the loving and accepting eyes of her grandmother. Even at the age of four, she had experienced her share of prejudice already, because she was born with black skin. Although most of the people in her town had started to overcome the prejudice, the wariness in her step and the distrust in her eyes were still evident whenever something new was encountered. Carolyn and Andy worked hard at learning to be good parents, but they were both young, wrapped up in each other's love, and very busy trying to forge a life for their family.
At that time, Kelly was the only child in the family. That made her feel lonely sometimes, and the loneliness always increased her vulnerability. Molly didn't want to meddle, but she was determined to be a mentor for Kelly! Although she had no control over the way life unfolded, she still felt largely responsible for the situation Kelly was in, and Molly was driven to do whatever she could to build a bond of love and trust with this precious child. What Kelly needed now, she was convinced, was a steady dose of unconditional love and attention from her maternal grandmother, and that's exactly what she got throughout most of the previous summer.
Every Sunday that they spent together at the lake brought forth the special thrill of joining Uncle Paul on his magnificent boat—exploring Lake of the Woods, having a picnic on an island somewhere, and stopping to swim on sandy beaches. Uncle Paul was fun, and Kelly laughed and laughed when she was with him. During the long drives to the cottage, she prattled on and on about Uncle Paul, and she always asked over and over, "Grandma, will Uncle Paul come again?" until Molly finally refused to answer that question anymore. But Molly secretly glowed whenever Paul's name was mentioned, and deep within her heart, she always answered the question with, "Oh, I dearly hope so!"
Unfortunately, however, everything seemed to change for Kelly toward the end of last August. It began on one of the walks Kelly and Molly were in the habit of taking late in the afternoon. They would set out after Kelly's nap, when she was rested and the afternoon sun had lost its intensity, and walk until they were tired. Then they'd find a little spot to share a treat and to explore among the rocks for little critters, wildflowers, and mosses. Once rested, they'd take a different 'trail' homeward, although their trails weren't really trails at all. They would hike out over the rocks, along the beach, or through the edge of the woods, consciously trying to walk somewhere that they hadn't been before so they would always see something new. At least that's how it went until the day that Kelly saw the 'boy dog'.
They stopped to rest on a rocky outcropping that overlooked the lake. Molly knew that there was a cabin on the other side of the knoll, so she purposefully chose the side closest to the lake to stop and rest, because she didn't want to intrude on the occupants of the cabin. Although they were neighbours, the Walters' family hadn't been there long, and the couple of times that Molly spoke to them, they appeared to be spooked and took off quickly without returning her greeting. She assumed that they were shy, and they wanted her to respect their privacy, so that was exactly what she was doing.
Molly was engrossed in making a daisy chain out of the wildflowers that she and Kelly gathered along the way, when Kelly quietly wandered off, looking for more flowers. She didn't go far, and Molly could still see movement out of the periphery of her vision, but she wasn't paying adequate attention to Kelly for a couple of minutes. When she finally looked up, Kelly was standing rigidly on the edge of a rocky ledge, straining to see something in the general direction of the Walters' cabin. "Kelly," Molly called softly. "Don't go so far away, dear. Come back by Grandma, okay?"
But Kelly's attention was riveted on something below, and she didn't acknowledge her grandma at all. Raising her voice a little, Molly repeated, "Kelly, come back by Grandma, okay? you've gone too far, honey." Still, there seemed to be no response from Kelly. Wondering what could have mesmerized her granddaughter like that, Molly rose and started off in her direction, calling more loudly, "Kelly, what are you looking at?"
Suddenly responding to her Grandma at last, Kelly whirled around, looking both serious and confused at the same time, and trotted off toward Molly chirping, "Grandma, Grandma, come and see the boy dog. Come and see it, Grandma."
Surprised that this four-year-old knew that there were both boy dogs and girl dogs, Molly chuckled as she stretched out her hand. "How do you know that it's a boy dog, sweetie?"
"Come look, Grandma. Come and see." Kelly responded as she trotted over, grabbed Molly's hand, and began dragging her toward the Walters' yard.
Not wanting to create a scene and disturb the Walters family, Molly allowed herself to be led to the top of the rocky knoll and looked down upon the ramshackle old two-story house situated in the sheltered lee at the bottom of the rocks. She was in time to see Mr. Walters' back as he entered the cabin and the screen door slammed shut behind him.
"Why did he have the boy dog tied to the tree, Grandma?" Kelly was asking insistently as she surveyed the scene below, obviously surprised that the dog was no longer in view.
Seeing the chain looped around a huge birch tree close to the door of the cabin, Molly replied, smiling, "They do that so he won't run away. Dogs like to chase squirrels and other wild animals, and sometimes they chase them so far that they get lost. You have to tie dogs up when they're outside so they don't run away when you're not looking." Since Kelly didn't have a dog of her own, it was obvious that she wasn't familiar with the logistics of taking care of animals.
But Kelly had a lot of trouble accepting the concept of tying animals up. "But why did he tie him up, Grandma? Why did he tie him up like that?" she kept asking over and over as they trekked back home later that afternoon. Molly soon tired of hearing about the Walters' dog, and asked Kelly not to talk about him anymore. Although she remained agitated, Kelly finally turned her attention to other things, and Molly thought the dog incident was over.
But, for some reason, that incident became the catalyst that triggered a series of nightmares for poor little Kelly. Two or three times in the month that followed, she woke up totally spooked, screaming about the heat and the dark and being tied up and not able to get away. Molly had been tempted to go back and ask the Walters if Kelly could meet their dog, hoping that knowing the animal would help her to escape from the unknown fear that was causing her to wake up screaming so often. But Carla's husband, Rob, was a good psychologist. He helped the whole family to work through much worse nightmares than this one, four years before, and they all had a great deal of faith in his knowledge of how to help people.
When Molly brought the issue to his attention when they returned to Morley, Rob suggested that they make as little fuss about the incident as possible. Since Kelly hadn't appeared to be afraid of the dog, it wasn't likely that it had anything to do with the nightmares, and he recommended that they allow her to forget naturally. "Kids often have nightmares", he reminded them, "and the chances are that it's an unrelated incident. In such cases, revisiting the scene, or paying undue attention to the event could serve to heighten the worry and intensify the problem". Unless the problem persisted for a long period of time, he recommended that they deal with it as naturally and as calmly as possible.
But, for some strange reason, Kelly wasn't able to stop the recurring nightmare. She never talked about the Walters' dog after she went home to Morley, and she never had any nightmares at home. But as soon as she came back to the cottage for another weekend in September, the dreams immediately started again, and she soon got to the point where she was almost afraid to go to sleep at night. It was finally decided that they would not allow her to come to the lake anymore that fall. By the time spring came, she should have forgotten the whole thing, and life could return to normal. Although Molly missed her company a great deal, she agreed that not coming for a while sounded like the best option, and everyone made a pact not to mention dogs, or the cottage, or anything to do with dreams for the nine months between visits. Kelly never mentioned any of them either, until now. This was her first time back at the cottage since last September. It was now almost dawn on Tuesday, June 26th, 1984. Kelly was five years old, and the dreams had begun again!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from A Deep Well of Strength by BERNICE G. DYCK Copyright © 2012 by Bernice G. Dyck. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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