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99 Film Scenes for Actors
By Angela Nicholas HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Copyright ©2006 Angela Nicholas
All right reserved. ISBN: 0380798042
Annie Hall
(United Artists, 1977) - Screenplay by Woody Allen
- Directed by Woody Allen
- Characters: ANNIE (Diane Keaton)
- ALVY (Woody Allen)
NOTES: ALVY and ANNIE live m New York City. They used to live together as a couple; they don't anymore, but they have a strong emotional connection. ALVY has a date in his bedroom when ANNIE calls him about an "emergency." ALVY drops everything and rushes over. INTERIOR ANNIE'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT
CUT TO ALVY entering ANNiE's apartment, huffing and puffing.
ALVY: (off) What's . . . it's me, open up. Are you okay? What's the matter?
ANNIE: (opens door) Oh.
ALVY: Are you all right? What . . .
ANNIE: (sighing)
ALVY: What?
ANNIE: There's a spider in the bathroom.
ALVY: What?
ANNIE: There's big, black spider in the bathroom.
ALVY: That's what you got me here for at three o'clock in the morning? Cause there's a spider in the bathroom?
ANNIE: My God, you know how I am about insects --
ALVY: (sighing) Oooh.
ANNIE: . . . I can't sleep with a live thing crawling around in the bathroom.
ALVY: Kill it! For God's -- what's wrong with you? Don't you have a can of Raidin the house?
ANNIE: No.
ALVY: (sighing) I told you a thousand times, you should always keep, uh, a lotta insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over. They move through the hallway. ANNIE: I know, I know, and a first-aid kit, and a fire extinguisher . . .
They stop in the living room.
ALVY: Jesus. All right, gimme a magazine, I -- cause I'm a little tired. (ANNIE moves past him and off) You know, you joke about me, you make fun of me, but I'm prepared for anything. An emergency, a tidal wave, an earthquake . . . (he looks over on bookcase and picks up a pamphlet) Hey, what is this? What? Did you go to a rock concert?
ANNIE: (off) Yeah.
ALVY: Oh, yeah, really? Really? How, how'd you like it? Was it, was it -- I mean did it . . . was it heavy? Did it achieve total heavy-ocity? Or was it, uh, . . .
ANNIE moves through the room and off again.
ANNIE: It was just great!
ALVY: Oh, humdinger. When . . . Well, I got a wonderful idea. Why don'tcha get the guy who took you to the rock concert, we'll call him and he can come over and kill the spider. You know, it's a . . .
ANNIE: (off) I called you. You want to help me -- (she comes back in the room and to ALVY) . . . or not, huh? (hands him the magazine) Here.
ALVY: What is this? What are you . . . Since when do you read "The National Review"? What are you turning into?
ANNIE: Well, I like to try to get all points of view.
ALVY: (off) It's wonderful. Then why don'tcha get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?
ANNIE: Alvy, you're a little hostile, you know that? Not only that, you look thin and tired.
ALVY: Well, I was in be . . . It's three o'clock in the morning. You, uh, you got me outta bed, I ran over here, I couldn't get a taxicab. You said it was an emergency, and I didn't ge . . . I ran up the stairs. Believe me, I was a lot more attractive when the evening began. Look, uh, tell, . . . whatta you . . . are you going with a right-wing rock and roll star? Is that possible?
ANNIE: Would you like a glass of chocolate milk?
ALVY: Hey, what am I, your son? Whatta you mean . . . ? I, I came over t' . . .
ANNIE: I got the good chocolate, Alvy.
ALVY: Yeah, where is the spider?
ANNIE: It really is lovely. It's in the bathroom.
ALVY: Is he in the bathroom?
ANNIE: Hey, don't squish it. And after it's dead, flush it down the toilet, OK? -- and flush it a couple of times.
ALVY: Darling, darling, I been killing spiders since I was thirty, OK?
He goes down the hail and comes back.
ANNIE: Oh. What?
ALVY: Very big spider.
ANNIE: Yeah?
ALVY: Too . . . Yeah. Lotta, lotta trouble -- there's two of 'em.
ANNIE: Two?
ALVY: Yep. I didn't think it was that big, but, it's a major spider. You got a broom, or something with a --
ANNIE: Oh, I, I left it at your house.
ALVY: . . . snow shovel or anything or something.
ANNIE: I think I left it there, I'm sorry.
ALVY: Okay, let me have this. (He takes her tennis racket.)
ANNIE: Well, what are you doing, what are you doing with . . .
ALVY: Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick. (He goes back into the bathroom.)
ANNIE: Well, okay. Oooh.
ALVY: Hey, what is this? You got black soap?
ANNIE: It's for my complexion.
ALVY: What -- whatta yuh, joining a minstrel show? Geez.
(He goes after spider, banging racket.)
ANNIE: What are you doing?
ALVY: Don't worry! (He bangs around some more, then exits) I did it! I killed them both. What, what's the matter? (ANNIE is sobbing) Whatta you . . . whatta you sad about? You . . . What'd you want me to do, capture 'em and rehabilitate 'em?
ANNIE: (sobbing) Oh, don't go, okay? Please.
ALVY: Whatta you mean, don't go? Whatta, whatta, what's the matter? Whatta you, expecting termites? What's the matter?
ANNIE: (sobbing) Oh, uh, I don't know. I miss you. Tsch.
ALVY: Oh, Jesus, really?
ANNIE: Oh, yeah . . . oh . . . (she leans on his shoulder and they kiss) Alvy?
ALVY: What?
ANNIE: Was there somebody in your room when I called you?
ALVY: W-W-Whatta you mean?
ANNIE: I mean, was there another -- I thought I heard a voice.
ALVY: Oh, I had the radio on.
ANNIE: Yeah?
ALVY: I'm sorry. I had the television set -- I had the television --
ANNIE: Yeah. (she kisses him)
Continues...
Excerpted from 99 Film Scenes for Actors by Angela Nicholas Copyright ©2006 by Angela Nicholas. Excerpted by permission.
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