8 Keys to Old School Parenting for Modern-Day Families

by Michael Mascolo, Babette Rothschild (Foreword by)

Overview

Raising secure and confident kids using best parenting practices from the past.

Does it ever seem to you like kids these days are in control of their parents?

Having a strong sense of yourself as a parent is key to raising a resilient, independent, thoughtful, and solution-focused child. But over the last several generations, parents have been immersed in the well-intentioned idea that parenting should be child-centered rather than adult-centered. Many parents have begun to follow their children’s lead rather than insist that children adapt to parental prerogatives. Parental authority has come to be seen as a bad thing.

The 8 keys presented in this book focus on valuing your own authority as a parent; cultivating your child’s character; applying discipline instead of punishment; strategies to motivate compliance; fostering emotional development; problem-solving; conflict management; and effective communication. They will help parents raise self-directed children who are active learners, feel good about themselves, take initiative, and have a strong moral compass.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780393709360
Publisher:	Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:	05/25/2015
Series:	8 Keys to Mental Health
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Michael Mascolo, PhD,, is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Merrimack College in North Andover, Massachusetts. He publishes a popular parenting advice magazine and lives in Salem, Massachusetts.

Babette Rothschild, MSW, LCSW is an internationally recognized PTSD specialist and best-selling author of seven books translated into eighteen languages, including her new offerings Help for the Helper Updated + Expanded and the 8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery Workbook. Babette is also the creator and Series Editor of W. W. Norton’s 8 Keys to Mental Health Series. She currently lives in Los Angeles, California.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Foreword Babette Rothschild xi

Reclaiming Parenthood 1

Key 1 Value Your Parental Authority 23

Key 2 Cultivate Your Child's Character 53

Key 3 Apply Discipline Instead 72

Key 4 Motivate Compliance 93

Key 5 Foster Emotional Development 118

Key 6 Solve Problems 144

Key 7 Manage Conflicts 175

Key 8 Communicate Effectively 199

Authoritative Parenting and Moral Character: Timeless Truths in a Changing World 217

Appendix: A Real-Life Example of Guiding Children through Conflict Management 237

References 249

Index 257

Editorial Reviews

04/06/2015
Without naming names or citing literature, psychology professor Mascolo sets himself in opposition to “child-centered parenting” philosophies. This use of a murkily-defined straw man antagonist sets a combative tone that undermines what is otherwise a useful parenting guide. Mascolo provides a valuable explanation for how time-outs have become a form of punishment, transforming “what was initially meant to be a quiet break into a negative consequence for misbehavior.” He argues for “Removing the Negative” or “Earning by Learning,” two approaches that give the child agency and the opportunity for healthy development. In the first, the parent gives the child the opportunity to “get out of jail” by making a choice that complies with the parent’s wishes. In the second, the parent makes the effort to understand a child’s motivation for misbehavior and help the child develop related skills or reduce the fears causing the problem. Another section uses research on negotiation techniques to help parents guide their children in conflict resolution. This can be heady stuff—the author doesn’t shy from citing Aristotle when talking about moral character—but he breaks it down in a way that is accessible. Parents are likely to cherry-pick what’s constructive from what’s merely negative in this uneven book. (May)

Publishers Weekly

"Parents seeking good expert advice about how best to raise their children will benefit from this invaluable and singularly creative resource. In 8 Keys to Old-School Parenting for Modern-Day Families, Michael Mascolo uses his deep knowledge of contemporary scientific theory and research to provide clear and wise recommendations that will enhance parenting and positively impact the lives of children. Accessibly written, the pathways the author presents for effective parenting will give parents the intellectual and behavioral tools they need to optimize their children’s development."

Richard M. Lerner

"An enlightening, engaging, and informative guide to parenting. This book offers a thorough examination of the literature and insightful illustrations to support the significance of parental attitude and action on the dynamic nature of the parent-child relationship, providing testimony to the longevity and success of parenting that combines nurturance and high expectations. A must-read for parents, grandparents, child psychologists, educators, and child-care providers."

Dante Cicchetti

"8 Keys to Old School Parenting for Modern-Day Families may be the most valuable parenting book of the 21st Century. Wise and balanced, it offers parents realistic ways to cultivate the character strengths that children will need for success and good citizenship in today's world. The book is bold in taking on cultural misdirections. A gift to contemporary parents everywhere."

William Damon

"As an academic psychologist, a parent, and a consumer of trade press books on parenting, I found Mascolo’s text timely and insightful, and I am happy to have it on my shelf…. [T]he author has distilled highly regarded contemporary parenting theory and research and tied them to clear examples that most any reader could follow."

PsycCRITIQUES

"From strategies to motivate compliance to encouraging problem-solving skills, handling conflict, and communicating better, this book helps parents raise strong children who are emotionally secure and engaged in their environments, and is a pick for parents who want to blend modern perspectives with old-fashioned morality and ethical standards. Both are key discussions that should be in any parenting library."

Midwest Book Review

"Each key . . . comes with plenty of useful examples, charts, sample dialogues, and research-based explanations. And each drives home the point that children will learn best from their own collective experiences. . . . As I read Mascolo, I almost felt like cheering. . . . I would recommend this book for both parents and teachers . . . . [I]n my opinion, you can’t go wrong with a book that encourages parents to take an active, authoritative, and nurturing role as they guide their kids through the trials and joys of growing up."

PsychCentral