488 Rules for Life: The Thankless Art of Being Correct

by Kitty Flanagan, Kitty Flanagan (Read by)

Overview

Despite what Jordan Peterson says, there are more than twelve rules for life . . . a lot more. Thankfully, you now have this witty guide to remedy every annoying little thing society throws at you.

488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it’s not you who needs help—it’s other people. Whether they’re walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, people just don’t know the rules.

But now, thanks to Australian comedian Kitty Flanagan’s comprehensive guide to modern behavior, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don’t ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it . . . where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and refrain from reheating their fish curry in the office microwave . . . where middle-aged men don’t have ponytails.

What started as a joke on Kitty Flanagan’s popular segment on ABC TV’s The Weekly, is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.)

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780655690337
Publisher:	Bolinda Audio
Publication date:	10/27/2020
Edition description:	Unabridged
Product dimensions:	6.50(w) x 5.50(h) x 0.62(d)

About the Author

Kitty Flanagan is one of Australia’s best known comedians. Before that she was one of Australia’s least known waitresses at the Pizza Hut.

Kitty is a writer and performer and can be seen regularly on comedy/quiz show, Have You Been Paying Attention? She’s known for her segments on The Project and The Weekly with Charlie Pickering as well as for playing the role of Rhonda on the award-winning ABC show, Utopia.

Her favorite food is soup, closely followed by fried potatoes of any kind. She lives in Sydney with her dog Henry, her cat Sarge and a lovely Magnolia tree called Mary. Kitty hopes to one day develop some skills, get an education and find a real job.

Table of Contents

A Word from the Author xiii

How to Use This Book xv

The Fundamental Rule 1

Around the Home 5

General House Rules 7

The Bathroom 10

The Kitchen 14

Health & Lifestyle 17

A Word about Wellness 19

Inspiration and Advice 21

Smoking 23

Exercise Gear 24

Working Out 26

Aging Gracefully 28

At the Office 33

A Word about Open Offices 35

General Office Rules 37

Food in the Office 43

Language 47

General Language Rules 49

A Word about the Generation Gap 55

Kids Today 58

Conversation 60

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles 65

A Word about Air Travel 67

Flying 68

Special Sealed Section-Scooching 75

On the Road 78

Public Transportation 82

Food 85

General Food Rules 87

Eating 91

Dining Out 95

Cafes and Restaurants 97

Special Sealed Section-Fruit 103

Relationships & Dating 109

A Word about Mixed Messages 111

First Date Don'ts 115

Couples 118

Friends of Couples 123

Online Dating Rules-for Men 124

Online Dating Rules-for Women 127

Sex 128

Parenting 131

A Word about the Parenting Expert 133

General Parenting Rules 134

Pregnancy 140

Special Sealed Section-For Moms 143

Children's Parties 147

Pets 149

Fashion 153

A Word about Fashion 155

General Fashion Rules 157

Fashion for the Over-Forties 160

Denim and Leather 162

Special Sealed Section-Tattoos 163

Piercings and Other Holes 167

Sunglasses 168

Makeup 169

Models 172

At the Movies 173

A Word about the Cinema 175

For Moviegoers 177

Special Sealed Section-Popcorn 181

For Moviemakers 188

At the Shops 193

A Word about Sunday Trading 195

Shop Assistants 197

Attention, Supermarket Shoppers 200

Big Supermarkets 201

Special Sealed Section-Fitting Rooms 203

Technology 207

A Word about Our Own Importance 209

Cell Phones 210

Email 214

Social Media 215

Blogging 219

Instructional YouTube Videos 222

Internet Commenting 224

Sports 229

A Word about Sports 231

For Sports Fans 233

For Non-Enthusiasts 235

Special Rules for Male Athletes 237

Parties & Celebrations 239

A Word about Parties 241

Invitations and Attendance 242

Birthdays 244

Dinner Parties 245

Weddings 250

Special Sealed Section-Wedding Speeches 255

Halloween 259

Xmas, New Year's Eve, and Other Special Days 261

Holidays & Travel 263

Australians Overseas 265

A Word about Bunking in 267

Houseguests 270

Visitors to Our Shores 272

Art & Entertainment 273

A Word about "Culture" 275

Museums and Art Galleries 277

The Zoo 281

The Theater 284

Books 285

Special Removable Section-Reality Television 287

The Final Rule 293

Acknowledgments 301