10 Days to a Less Defiant Child: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior

by Jeffrey Bernstein PhD

Overview

The bestselling, powerful guide to help parents regain control over a defiant child or teenager, now revised and updated.

Occasional clashes between parents and kids are not uncommon, but when behavior like tantrums, resistance to requests, and negativity becomes chronic, it can cause big problems. In 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein shares his groundbreaking program to help parents reduce conflict and end upsetting behaviors.
 
Updated to address challenges that today's parents face, this go-to guide includes new information on the rise of defiant behavior due to negative Internet influences and social media pressures, and the effects of stress on family life. Dr. Bernstein explains what causes defiance in kids, teens, and even adult children, why it's so destructive to the family, and shows parents step-by-step how they can end the behavior—at home, at school, and everywhere in between. His proven ten-day strategies include:

• Leading with empathy to manage your own reactivity as well as your child's, and becoming your child's emotion coach to reduce feeling disrespected as a parent.
• Dealing with defiant behavior in an era loaded with increased day-to-day anxieties due to climate change, societal and school violence.
• Managing children's behavioral struggles within increasingly complex family structures and changing societal values.
• Seventeen Cooperative Connection-Building Games for families to foster openness, trust, communication, and collaborative problem-solving.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780306829802
Publisher:	Hachette Books
Publication date:	01/17/2023
Edition description:	3rd ed.
Pages:	336
Sales rank:	270,364
Product dimensions:	8.90(w) x 5.90(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, is a licensed psychologist specializing in child and family therapy who has helped more than three thousand defiant children and their families restore their relationships. A well-known relationship expert and the author of Why Can't You Read My Mind?, 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child, Liking the Child You Love, and The Anxiety, Depression & Anger Toolbox for Teens, Dr. Bernstein has appeared on the Today Show and Court TV, among other venues. Dr. Bernstein lives in the Philadelphia area.

drjeffonline.com

Table of Contents

Introduction: This Is Not What 1 Expected Parenting to Be Like ix

Introduction to the Second Edition xv

Introduction to the Third Edition xxi

Day 1 Grasping Why Your Child Acts Defiantly 1

Day 2 Understanding Your Defiant Child 22

Day 3 Coaching Yourself Around the Yelling Trap 43

Day 4 Rising Above Power Struggles 75

Day 5 Reinforcing the Positive Changes in Your Child 111

Day 6 Discipline Without Desperation 138

Day 7 Rallying Family Support 162

Day 8 Lessening Defiance at School 189

Day 9 Overcoming Stubborn Obstacles 214

Day 10 Reducing Defiance for the Long Run 248

Cooperative Connection-Building Games 262

Appendix 1 Determining If Your Child Needs Professional Help 275

Appendix 2 Guide to Handling Defiant Students 285

Sources 295

Resources 298

Acknowledgments 304

Index 305

About the Author 311

Editorial Reviews

"Dr. Jeff's advice is terrific: Listen, don't yell. Show respect."—Great Kid Magazine

"10 Days to a Less Defiant Child is a must read for parents and educators alike! In short order, Dr. Bernstein has masterfully created a program that allows parents to improve family and school relationships by giving them the user-friendly tools necessary to address long-term child defiance. Familial support, positive reinforcement, and a team approach that includes working with school staff are the cornerstones that make this work rise to the top. Every school psychologist and every educator who deals with defiant children should have a copy of this book in their libraries!"
—Ivan J. Katz, EdD, Superintendent of Schools, Eldred Central School District, Eldred, NY

"What a much-needed resource for parents experiencing the frustration of raising a defiant child! This book provides insights into why some children and teens reject rules and resist authority, but, more important, provides an easy-to-implement plan to manage these negative behaviors. The information on ADHD and other disorders is particularly valuable. The sooner you get started with Dr. Bernstein's plan, the sooner you will have a more peaceful home."
—Marie Paxson, coordinator of a support group for parents of children and teens with ADHD

"Parents need to go no further; this book is THE resource book for parents of defiant and challenging children. 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child empathizes and actively supports parents like myself—who have looked fruitlessly for help—in making changes in ourselves in order to help our children live more comfortably in the world. This book should be on the shelf of every parent, mental health professional, and educator. A unique approach that should become a classic!"
—Judith Roth, MSW, LISW

"Dr. Bernstein has accomplished the difficult task of writing a practical and readable book that will be a very valuable tool for parents. It is a potpourri of good ideas for intervening with a difficult child in an enthusiastic and positive way. I highly recommend this book!"
—Clare B. Jones, PhD, author of Practical Suggestions for ADHD

From the Publisher