Buy this book! If I had a time machine, this would be one of the books I'd deliver to my younger self. Cody Daigle-Orians has crafted an invaluable resource for navigating the pitfalls of normative relationships and intimacy.

By drilling into to the basics of what actually makes up a healthy relationship, this radically inclusive and practical guide dives headfirst into the questions we are so often afraid to ask: can I be ace and find love without compromising myself? Can I build a relationship that suits me? Am I deserving of happiness? With love and affirmation, Cody guides the reader to an answer: a resounding, unapologetic YES!

This groundbreaking guide is a must-read for anyone looking to redefine their understanding of relationships, love, and intimacy. Beyond its primary focus on aromantic and asexual individuals, the book offers a revolutionary perspective on what constitutes a fulfilling connection.

The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide is a comprehensive beginning for asexual and aromantic seekers to develop better relationships. Regardless of whether you're troubleshooting a current relationship or you're just beginning your aspec journey and don't know how to approach relationships, this guide will examine and deconstruct harmful norms, teach you to value and defend your boundaries and needs, and open your mind to the incredible variety of relationship options that are very much available to people like us. An excellent starting point for how to think about partnership from an ace/aro perspective

08/01/2024

Gr 9 Up—The book offers a comprehensive guide to relationships, seamlessly blending practical advice with thoughtful insights tailored to the asexual spectrum community. The first section delves into essential relationship tools, emphasizing the importance of consent and communication—valuable for anyone, though particularly relevant to aspec individuals. The second section addresses the practicalities of relationships for aspec people, exploring various types of connections and providing universally applicable advice. One of the standout aspects is the book's readability. Though aimed at teens, it remains engaging for adults. The author, an asexuality educator, candidly addresses the societal challenges faced by aspec people, emphasizing that these issues are not their fault—a crucial message for young readers. Additionally, the inclusion of red flags and abuse awareness is commendable, ensuring readers are equipped to recognize and respond to unhealthy behaviors. Infused with the author's personal experiences and humor, the book is both insightful and enjoyable. It covers key themes such as intersectionality, autonomy, and healthy boundaries, offering clear explanations, examples, and reflection prompts. VERDICT A must-read relationship guide offering practical advice, personal insights, and essential tools for the aspec community and beyond.—Jessica Calaway

2024-08-03
Decentralizing romance and sex, this guide explores skills and pathways for building healthy, fulfilling, identity-affirming relationships.

Daigle-Orians explains that Western society prioritizes one type of relationship—an exclusive partnership between two cisgender, heterosexual people that’s based in romantic and sexual attraction and leads to marriage and procreation. They challenge the myth of this “perfect relationship,” exposing its pervasive and harmful impact on asexual and aromantic people. The first half of the work presents 10 tools for building a “New Kind of Perfect” relationship—autonomy, consent, boundaries, communication, commitment, compromise, trust, respect, recognition, and care. After discussing each tool, the second half examines them in action in “relationship beginnings, platonic connections, sex, romance, nontraditional forms of relationships, and relationship endings.” Within each chapter, the author encourages readers to engage with and practice the tools; breakout sections include prompts for self-reflection and action. The prose flows in an engaging, conversational style that helps to break down the complex concepts. When read from cover to cover, the text at times verges on repetitive, but for those using the guide as a reference tool, the repetition supports the treatment of chapters as self-contained essays. Although Daigle-Orians aims to speak to and support a targeted audience, the tools they share have universal value. This is a worthwhile text that centers readers who are often left out of relationship guides.

An empowering and important tool. (resources)(Nonfiction. 13-adult)