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CHAPTER 1

Beginnings

When I was a little girl, my mother had a book that fascinated me. Bound in brown alligator skin with gold edging on the pages, it had the word Diary embossed in gold on the cover. There was a leather flap from the back cover to the front that kept the book secured shut with a shiny gold lock. My mother never locked her diary, however, for she never wrote in it. There were no secrets inside, only a tiny gold key in a little paper envelope. There were no words written on its neatly lined pages.

I loved that little empty diary, and enjoyed thumbing through its blank pages. Maybe it was its antique appearance that appealed to me — the bumpy leather binding, the richness of the gold edged pages, the shininess of the miniature lock and key. The book was so fancy that I couldn't imagine anyone actually writing in it. Also, there was something wonderful and mysterious about the blankness of the book: It was full of possibilities.

Then one day I was given a diary of my own. It wasn't as fancy as my mother's (it had a royal blue imitation leather cover), so I felt OK about writing in it. It was like my mom's in every other way, though, right down to the flap, the gold lock and key, and the word Diary in gold on the cover. I was delighted with it.

At first, it was fun. Faithfully, I made an entry each day. "Dear Diary, Today I ..." and then "... happened." And so it went. But after a while, I felt cramped by the small space provided for each day's entry. So much more to say, so little room to say it. Then, after a while, I grew bored with chronicling events and gradually stopped making entries in my dear diary altogether.

However, I didn't stop writing. At school, I wrote well and with great enthusiasm. My teachers were pleased and encouraged me. More importantly, I continued writing for myself. Every now and then I would pick up a steno pad that I kept in my closet and write about something important to me: my teacher at art school, the painters I admired, my own painting, and my feelings about art. I loved doing this kind of personal writing so much, I'm surprised I didn't do it more often.

At fifteen, I won second prize in our local newspaper's essay contest on the theme of "future career." I wrote about wanting to become a journalist. We had to collect our prizes at the local variety store and, while I was waiting in line, a little blank book in the stationery department caught my eye. It was a black and red hardbound ledger-type book with the word Record neatly embossed in gold on the cover. The pages were blank except for the lines. I reasoned that because I was going to be a journalist, I'd need a very special notebook in which to write. I thought, "I might even write a book someday." So I bought it.

But I put the book away and promptly forgot about it and about becoming a journalist. Painting became my great love. Upon graduating from high school, I went to college as an art major and English minor. After becoming a professional artist, marriage followed, then the birth of two daughters. A career change came next, which led to teaching young children and supervising Head Start programs in the inner city of Los Angeles. The years passed.

Then during a serious illness when I was thirty-five, I found the little record book I had purchased twenty years earlier. From my sick bed I noticed it on a nearby shelf. It had stayed with me through all kinds of changes, moves, and even a divorce. It was still blank but something told me to write my deepest feelings and thoughts, my pain and fear, my wishes and dreams, the words of my inner world. This was my first "official" journal. And the process of journal-keeping through writing and drawing helped heal me from a mysterious illness that had defied the doctors and their medicines.

My life changed so much after that. I began listening to my own feelings and inner wisdom. The insights I gained through journal-keeping led me into a new career as an art therapist and teacher of diary writing and drawing. I call my method The Creative Journal. But more importantly, I learned to play and enjoy life again. For instance, at thirty-nine, I started skateboarding for the first time in my life and loved it.

At fifteen, I had no way of consciously knowing where that little record book would lead me. How could I have known that I would carry it around among my possessions for twenty years before writing a word in it? How could I have known that instead of a journalist's notebook, it would become the first volume of many personal journals that have been my laboratory for developing the many books I have authored?

In looking back, it is clear that at age fifteen I intuitively knew more than I thought. I had set a dream in motion and, although it went underground for twenty years, that dream and the little blank book that was its symbol came back at the time when I needed them most. My girlhood vision came true, although not in the form that I expected. I became a "journalist" after all: a journalist of the inner world. And I'm grateful to that fifteen-year-old girl that I was for having the sense to buy a little blank book. I used it to save my life and to help others.

WHAT IS CREATIVE JOURNAL-KEEPING?

Creative journal-keeping is a tool for understanding yourself better. It can also help you develop skill in writing and in drawing. The method consists of simple exercises to be done in a diary or personal journal. The exercises are designed to help you:

• express feelings and thoughts.

• feel comfortable writing and drawing.

• acquire a habit of self-expression.

• communicate in words and pictures.

• become more observant.

• know and like yourself better.

• appreciate your experiences more.

• use imagination and natural talents.

• strengthen concentration and focus.

• enjoy self-reflection through words and pictures.

• solve problems and be more self-reliant.

• find your own wisdom inside.

The exercises are arranged in a particular order from simple to more complex. The Table of Contents lists the exercises by name so that you can easily locate the ones you wish to do. If you are using this book under the guidance of an adult (teacher, counselor, parent, etc.) you may be assigned specific exercises. If you are using this book on your own, first read through the book so that you know what it is and how it works. Become familiar with the exercises before doing them. When you start journal-keeping, begin at the beginning and go through each chapter in the order given. Later on you can reuse the book by choosing the exercise that appeals to you at the time. Do what feels right for you. I trust you to know what you need and to follow your own common sense. Use it creatively and playfully.

• Change or expand the exercises if you wish. (There's room in the book for your additions and notes.)

• Use journal ideas from other sources.

• Invent your own journal exercises on the pages provided at the end of each chapter.

FORMS OF EXPRESSION: WORDS AND PICTURES

Diaries and journals are usually thought of as written records of personal experiences, thoughts, and feelings. The creative journal is different. It includes art as well as writing. There are many ways to express what is inside you:

• scribbles, doodles, and drawings.

• graphs and diagrams.

• colors and abstract designs.

• symbols.

• representational sketches.

If you don't like to write or don't think you can write very well, the art activities in this book may help you get interested in keeping a journal. Lots of times it's much easier and more fun to draw first. Drawing is a good way to warm up. Words often flow after a picture has been drawn.

If you think you don't have any talent in art, drawing privately in your journal will help you get over being self-conscious. No one is going to see your journal drawings (or your writings) unless you show them. So you don't have to worry about being laughed at or criticized or given a "bad grade." There are no grades for what you write or draw in your journal. So when you write, hopefully you can relax and experiment with:

• writing in free association, stream of consciousness ("free-write").

• prose and poetry.

• dramatic dialogues (play scripting).

• description.

• autobiographical stories.

Privacy is a very important part of creative journal-keeping. Your journal belongs to you. If it is not private, then you will probably not have the freedom to really be yourself. And if you can't be honest with yourself in your journal, there's no point in using this method.

The purpose of creative journal-keeping is to understand your self better. This happens through free expression of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It is often hard to be honest if you are in danger of being criticized by others. By removing the reactions of other people altogether, confidential journal-keeping lets you be truthful with yourself. Diaries and journals have always been private. That's why they had locks on them. A diary has always been a place "to tell it like it is," a place to dream and wish, to brainstorm creative ideas, to share your innermost self with yourself.

Anne Frank's teenage diary became famous after she was killed by the Nazis during World War II. Here is what she wrote in her first diary entry:

I hope I shall be able to confide in you completely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.

It was her thirteenth birthday and the beginning of a diary that was to become world-famous as a book, a play, and a movie. Another diary entry of Anne's says a lot about how she used her diary and how much she valued the privacy it gave her:

I have two things to confess to you today, which will take a long time. But I must tell someone and you are the best one to tell, as I know that, come what may, you always keep a secret.

Everyone I know who keeps a journal for self-understanding has reported that the privacy has given him or her the freedom to "get things off my chest," as they say. There is a great relief if one is holding in strong feelings. Anne Frank said it clearly in her diary:

I can shake off everything if I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn....

TALENT AND CREATIVITY: WE'VE ALL GOT IT

All human beings are creative and expressive. Unfortunately, in our culture, most people think they are untalented when it comes to art or writing or both. How many times have you heard or said, "I can't draw a straight line," or "I'm just not artistic," or "I was born with no talent"?

These are learned beliefs. They usually result from criticism of our early childhood attempts to express ourselves. Someone ridiculed our drawing or writing and so we concluded that we couldn't do it. That excused us from even trying. First, you buy the idea that you don't have "it" then you can't possibly use "it." Right? Wrong. This is distorted logic based on the mistaken belief that only a few people have talent and the rest of us don't. Certainly there are some people with perception problems and physical handicaps, but the truth is that many people can't draw or write because they think they can't and because they never or rarely do it. It's as simple as that.

Most people have had little or no encouragement, training, or opportunity in art. They may have had unhappy experiences. In the case of writing, they may have received formal instruction in school, but it was always attached to grades and judgment. They didn't write for their own enjoyment and creative growth.

The Creative Journal approaches things differently. It's a safe method for testing the waters of self-expression. You will have the freedom to try new things, to have fun with words and pictures, to discover abilities you didn't even know you had. Other young people who are keeping creative journals are finding great value in it. Some even develop a fond attachment to their "dear diary." They report that it's a place to express who they really are. One twelve year old girl who kept a journal regularly as part of a school program wrote:

Dear Journal:

Today is my first time I had you. I think you're a nice journal to be with. I hope to have you for ever and ever. I'm going to tell you lots of things about me. I like you a lot and thank the people that gave us the money to get you....

Carmen Melendez, the girl who wrote those words, later appeared on television and told about how much she had gained from journal-keeping on a regular basis. She was willing to share some of her journal voluntarily because she benefited so much from it.

USES OF CREATIVE JOURNAL-KEEPING

There are lots of situations and settings in which journaling can help you: at home, at school, while traveling, while hospitalized.

In Times of Trouble

Journal work is especially useful during difficult times, such as the following:

• family crisis.

• relocation.

• divorce or separation.

• school, classes, grade changes.

• illness or injury.

• addition of a new family member.

• death or illness of a loved one.

• conflict with others.

• job changes.

These events are often accompanied by strong feelings, such as:

• physical or emotional pain.

• confusion.

• insecurity.

• anger.

• fear.

• sadness or grief.

At such times, the journal can be a "good friend," a place to express difficult feelings. Sometimes it is hard to put these feelings into words, so drawing, doodling, or even scribbling can be a perfect way to let them out. At other times, the words may be there inside, but there is no one to tell them to. So the journal "listens" and "takes it all in" without judging or blaming you or saying, "Don't feel this," or "You shouldn't say that." You get to express your real feelings.

GUIDELINES FOR CREATIVE JOURNAL-KEEPING

Exercise Format

This book contains a series of exercises to be done in your own journal or blank book. Each exercise has its own title and guidelines.

Read each exercise over before doing it. Most of the exercises are divided into sections. Do each subsection in the order in which it appears before going on. If you try to do the entire exercise at once or do it out of order, you will probably get confused. Also, some of the exercises are too long to do at one sitting. You'll need more time. So for longer exercises, just do one or two subsections at a time.

Setting

Journaling is best done in a quiet setting. If done at home, a comfortable and private place is best. You should be free from interruptions and distractions. If you're doing journal work in a classroom or library, you should have a quiet atmosphere. It is best to have a short period of silence before you begin, so that you can focus your attention on what you are going to do in your journal.

Time

Journaling on a regular basis is a good way to acquire the habit and the skill. It need not be something you do every day. However, the more often you use your journal, especially in the beginning, the more benefits you will receive. Find the time of day that's best for you.

A ten to thirty minute session is recommended. Less than ten minutes is usually not enough time to really express what's on your mind. Be your own judge about how much time you need. It will depend upon what you have to write or draw. Sometimes you may use your journal more than once in the same day.

If you are doing journal work as part of a class in school or in counseling, a set time period will probably be assigned by your teacher or counselor. If you need more time, discuss this with the adult in charge and see if you can work out something that feels comfortable for you both.

Spontaneity

Use each exercise as a springboard to spark creativity and free expression. These exercises are not sacred. If you want to change an exercise, that is all to the good. Don't limit yourself. Use your imagination. You may find that certain exercises become your favorites. By all means go back to them as often as you like. Once you've done all the exercises in order, feel free to use them in any order you wish. Be creative.

Honesty

In order to understand yourself, it is necessary that you be honest with yourself. The journal is a place to really be yourself, feel your true feelings, and express them. That's why privacy is so important. If you are hiding from someone else's negative reaction, you won't be able to write and draw how you really feel. So keep your work confidential.

Privacy

Your journal is personal, private, and confidential. You have a right to privacy. You don't have to share your journal work or show it to anyone if you don't want to.

In order to protect your privacy, I suggest you keep your journal in a safe, private place: your desk, cabinet, carrying bag, or closet. Tell the people you live with or study with that the journal is private. If you think they won't respect your rights, then you might want to find a safe place to keep it. Whatever you do, make your journal confidential. It's private property and nobody else's business, unless you want to share something with them. It's your choice.

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Excerpted from "The Creative Journal for Teens"
by .
Copyright © 2002 Lucia Capacchione.
Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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