"This book is a delight. Funny, honest and deeply romantic, Havrilesky does the world a favor by letting us peek inside her mind and her marriage." — Chicago Tribune
"This reads like a confession from a friend who has examined their own life through an intellectual and emotional lense and comes out with some answers for us." — Good Morning America
“In its own sardonic and skeptical fashion, “Foreverland” is a tender book, full of touching descriptions of falling and staying in love, even in the face of the profound frustrations.” — The New Yorker
" She walks the tightrope here, unflinching in her appraisal, indulgent in her praise… The book is a delight; it is a magic trick. It is also terrifically funny.” — Southern Review of Books
"Wise, witty, profane, even profound.... Her voice is so engaging, and her comic timing so impeccable, that she turns the “divine tedium” of her marriage into a rollicking adventure for her readers, too." — Associated Press
“I instantly fell in love with Heather Havrilesky's new book Foreverland…. I deeply identified with her raw, real, and often hilarious take on motherhood, growing older, and the challenges of tethering yourself to another person.” — InStyle Magazine
“Funny, forthright…. In Foreverland , Havrilesky considers the ups and downs of married life, writing with candor about its undeviating dullness and surprising upsides …. Whether single or spoken for, readers are sure to fall for Havrilesky’s charming memoir.” — BookPage
“Havrilesky’s neurotic, self-deprecating sense of humor is always on display and adds a comedic twist on universal themes.” — San Francisco Chronicle
“Equal parts curiosity, humor and disarming candor, rejecting the platitudes with which so many of us (especially women) have long been bombarded…. At once a tribute to the joy of finding the one and the woes of putting up with them.” — St. Louis Post-Dispatch
“Filled with barbed humor and hilarious anecdotes drawn from her own marriage, it is a delightfully engaging love letter to matrimony that is both highly entertaining and profoundly insightful.” — Atlanta Journal-Constitution
"A beautifully honest exploration of marriage in all its intricacies." — Shondaland
“One of the first honest, moving and funny portrayals of a solid marriage I have ever read.” — Jessica Grose, The New York Times
"Both married and unmarried audiences will find something to cherish in this book on what it means to have a good marriage, what a marriage is at all, and how to retain one’s identity, as well as desires, in the face of binding yourself to another." — Literary Hub
“Havrilesky’s portrayal of the gritty underside of marriage is honest and searing.” — Jacobin
"Newlyweds, nearlyweds, and golden-anniversary celebrants alike will find much that is familiar, inspiring, and comforting in Havrilesky’s clear-eyed paean to marital bliss and blunders." — Booklist (starred review)
"Havrilesky’s candid reflections will delight those who’ve taken the plunge, for better or for worse." — Publishers Weekly
"Havrilesky successfully provides ample opportunities for readers to laugh, commiserate, and critique, regardless of their phase in life or marital status." — Library Journal
"Heather Havrilesky’s Foreverland is full of razor-sharp, big-hearted wisdom about conflict, lust, obsession, parenting, road trips, daily survival, and the saving, terrifying power of honesty. Her willingness to behold the frustrations of intimacy is what makes her—ultimately—such a keen and necessary scribe of its grace. I want to share this book with my exes, my mother, my partner, future versions of my daughter, future versions of myself, and every last reader I could shake by the shoulders and say: You might not know it, but you need this. It will help you survive your own life." — Leslie Jamison, New York Times bestselling author of The Recovering
“The inner workings of other people’s relationships are usually cloaked in mystery and papered over with platitudes. By letting us closely observe her fifteen-year marriage—nose-hair trimmers, random crushes, warts, and all—Heather makes us all feel less alone in our own weird and wonderful partnerships. There’s something so refreshing about a book that doesn’t try to convince you to invest in your marriage, and instead describes how difficult it is to do exactly that. I laughed. I cried. I didn’t file for divorce.” — Ann Friedman, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Big Friendship
“In a time of carefully managed, painstakingly cropped, plastic Instagram families, Heather Havrilesky’s incisive examination of marriage and family, Foreverland , reads, refreshingly, like a war diary—a generously candid, disarmingly heartfelt examination of those we love, what we value, and why. Occasionally meditative, brutally insightful, effortlessly witty, and always honest, Heather Havrilesky should be a household name, a guru for those of us whose hair itches at the thought of gurus.” — Lauren Hough, New York Times bestselling author of Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing
" She walks the tightrope here, unflinching in her appraisal, indulgent in her praise… The book is a delight; it is a magic trick. It is also terrifically funny.”
One of the first honest, moving and funny portrayals of a solid marriage I have ever read.
Equal parts curiosity, humor and disarming candor, rejecting the platitudes with which so many of us (especially women) have long been bombarded…. At once a tribute to the joy of finding the one and the woes of putting up with them.
Funny, forthright…. In Foreverland , Havrilesky considers the ups and downs of married life, writing with candor about its undeviating dullness and surprising upsides …. Whether single or spoken for, readers are sure to fall for Havrilesky’s charming memoir.
"Wise, witty, profane, even profound.... Her voice is so engaging, and her comic timing so impeccable, that she turns the “divine tedium” of her marriage into a rollicking adventure for her readers, too."
I instantly fell in love with Heather Havrilesky's new book Foreverland…. I deeply identified with her raw, real, and often hilarious take on motherhood, growing older, and the challenges of tethering yourself to another person.
"This reads like a confession from a friend who has examined their own life through an intellectual and emotional lense and comes out with some answers for us."
Havrilesky’s neurotic, self-deprecating sense of humor is always on display and adds a comedic twist on universal themes.
In its own sardonic and skeptical fashion, “Foreverland” is a tender book, full of touching descriptions of falling and staying in love, even in the face of the profound frustrations.
Riveting, boots-on-the-ground reportage from the most common front line in humanity.
Filled with barbed humor and hilarious anecdotes drawn from her own marriage, it is a delightfully engaging love letter to matrimony that is both highly entertaining and profoundly insightful.
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Havrilesky’s neurotic, self-deprecating sense of humor is always on display and adds a comedic twist on universal themes.
Riveting, boots-on-the-ground reportage from the most common front line in humanity.
"Both married and unmarried audiences will find something to cherish in this book on what it means to have a good marriage, what a marriage is at all, and how to retain one’s identity, as well as desires, in the face of binding yourself to another."
"A beautifully honest exploration of marriage in all its intricacies."
"Newlyweds, nearlyweds, and golden-anniversary celebrants alike will find much that is familiar, inspiring, and comforting in Havrilesky’s clear-eyed paean to marital bliss and blunders."
Booklist (starred review)
"Heather Havrilesky’s Foreverland is full of razor-sharp, big-hearted wisdom about conflict, lust, obsession, parenting, road trips, daily survival, and the saving, terrifying power of honesty. Her willingness to behold the frustrations of intimacy is what makes her—ultimately—such a keen and necessary scribe of its grace. I want to share this book with my exes, my mother, my partner, future versions of my daughter, future versions of myself, and every last reader I could shake by the shoulders and say: You might not know it, but you need this. It will help you survive your own life."
The inner workings of other people’s relationships are usually cloaked in mystery and papered over with platitudes. By letting us closely observe her fifteen-year marriage—nose-hair trimmers, random crushes, warts, and all—Heather makes us all feel less alone in our own weird and wonderful partnerships. There’s something so refreshing about a book that doesn’t try to convince you to invest in your marriage, and instead describes how difficult it is to do exactly that. I laughed. I cried. I didn’t file for divorce.
In a time of carefully managed, painstakingly cropped, plastic Instagram families, Heather Havrilesky’s incisive examination of marriage and family, Foreverland , reads, refreshingly, like a war diary—a generously candid, disarmingly heartfelt examination of those we love, what we value, and why. Occasionally meditative, brutally insightful, effortlessly witty, and always honest, Heather Havrilesky should be a household name, a guru for those of us whose hair itches at the thought of gurus.
06/01/2022
According to former New York Magazine "Ask Polly" advice columnist Havrilesky (What If This Were Enough? ), marriage is not all that it's cracked up to be. It's not pure bliss, but is bliss mixed with irritation, rage, delight, and disgust. With shrewdness and wit, Havrilesky details the ups and downs of her 15-year marriage, from meeting and marrying her husband, Bill, to pregnancy, childbirth, moving to the Los Angeles suburbs, and parenting older children, all while navigating the landscape of her ever-changing married life. Havrilesky writes with an engaging combination of bluntness and compassion, delivering cringeworthy statements about her husband's bodily noises only to then reveal the deep tenderness that she feels for this steadfast and still sexy man. Listeners will enjoy her narration, as it creates a sense of intimacy and transparency, making it seem that Havrilesky—advice columnist, best friend, and fallible guru—is speaking directly to them. VERDICT This candid and funny memoir will appeal widely, regardless of whether audiences have been married for years or eschew marriage entirely. Recommended for any memoir collection and for listeners seeking out incisive humor and honesty.—Sarah Hashimoto
12/01/2021
In a world where marriage is often presented as either a problem or a solution, "Ask Polly" advice columnist Havrilesky (How To Be a Person in the World ) drives home the point that such binary oppositions are fictions—as irrelevant and dangerous as the happily-ever-after stories of Disney princesses. In wittily titled chapters that foreground the tension between expectation and reality, Havrilesky takes readers through her own experiences of "tedium" and the divine, while also opening up broader issues annexed to the institution of marriage and its measurements of success. She recounts meeting her husband, describes the complexities of falling in love, and asks why American society tends to fixate on the concept of love. The book explores rom-coms, romance novels, and the author's experience as an advice columnist, where she answers difficult questions relating to marriage and divorce, love and loss. Havrilesky is at her best when considering the idea of romance and the pressure to become overinvested in marriage and parenting at the expense of one's own well-being. VERDICT Havrilesky successfully provides ample opportunities for readers to laugh, commiserate, and critique, regardless of their phase in life or marital status. A welcome addition to memoir and women's studies collections.—Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI
2021-10-20 The author and longtime New York Magazine “Ask Polly” advice columnist trains her incisive eye on her own marriage.
“I’m old and you’re old and nothing new is ever going to happen to us!” Havrilesky tells her husband, Bill, late in the book. “We’ll just get older and older and everything will stay exactly the same until we’re dead.” She shares this pessimistic and yet relatable sentiment after recounting a mild attempt at an extramarital flirtation that went awry, a development that was surprisingly crushing to her. The “tedium” in the subtitle is part of what fuels Havrilesky’s ambivalence toward the project of marriage—that and the fact that “even after years of careful training, a spouse will still do whatever a spouse feels like doing.” In Bill’s case that means making unappealing noises, interrupting, and wearing golf shirts, “perhaps the least attractive article of clothing available to humankind.” The author takes readers through the relationship chronologically, beginning with the honeymoon phase, in which she and Bill had copious amounts of sex and watched a lot of TV. Then it’s on to marriage and the births of their children, which prompted their questionable decision to move to the suburbs in order to avoid the “progressive elites” in their Los Angeles neighborhood. Alongside her chronicle, the author offers running commentary on how the marriage has adapted—or failed to adapt—to life’s vicissitudes. For her part, Havrilesky honestly serves up her own flaws for the reader’s perusal; for example, she describes herself as a “wise guru type who knows everything about everything…about as appealing a mate as Jabba the Hutt.” Meanwhile, Bill comes off quite well, though the author describes his annoying habits in perhaps too much detail. There are times when Havrilesky’s interest in writing ambitious prose or making a metaphor work get in the way of her narrative, but overall, this is a delightfully quirky memoir that refreshingly dissects the institution of marriage.
An engaging, candid, relatable memoir of love and marriage.