Reading Group Guide

1. The author thinks a lot about the role and challenges of fatherhood today. How would you define fatherhood in the modern world, and do you think the author will make a good father?
2. What do you think of the author's portrayal of his own father? Is it fair? Why or why not?
3. How did the author's experience as a first generation Catholic boy influence his general outlook on life? How did that boy become the man we read today? Is he right to say that the first generation child's experience is a fundamentally American one?
4. What do you think of the author's treatment of his wife's miscarriages and the depression that followed them?
5. Is "Love Story" an accurate way to describe this book? Why or why not?
6. With which character do you empathize more: the author or his wife, B? How did you feel about the author's portrayal of his wife?
7. The author takes a very analytical and philosophical approach to becoming a father. Why do you think he finds this necessary and what does this say about him? How would a man preparing to become a father benefit from reading this book?
8. Discuss the affect that having a baby has on a marriage, as depicted in the book. Are the conclusions and observations made by the author accurate? In your experience, how does the arrival of a first child affect a couple?
9. Why is the word "ambivalence" so important to the author, and in what ways does he see ambivalence as a good quality for coping with the challenges of today? Do you agree or disagree?
10. Discuss the line: "Ambivalence embraces compromise, and the effect is as enduring as it is flexible. The same applies to marriage." What does he mean by this?