Table of Contents
Authors' Note ix
Introduction xiii
The First Night Deny Trauma
The Unknown Third Giant 5
Why People Can Change 8
Trauma Does Not Exist 12
People Fabricate Anger 16
How to Live Without Being Controlled by the Past 20
Socrates and Adler 23
Are You Okay Just As You Are? 25
Unhappiness Is Something You Choose for Yourself 28
People Always Choose Not to Change 31
Your Life Is Decided Here and Now 36
The Second Night: All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems
Why You Dislike Yourself 45
All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems 52
Feelings of Inferiority Are Subjective Assumptions 55
An Inferiority Complex Is an Excuse 60
Braggarts Have Feelings of Inferiority 65
Life Is Not a Competition 72
You're the Only One Worrying About Your Appearance 76
From Power Struggle to Revenge 82
Admitting Fault Is Not Defeat 87
Overcoming the Tasks That Face You in Life 90
Red String and Rigid Chains 95
Don't Fall for the "Life-Lie" 100
From the Psychology of Possession to the Psychology of Practice 104
The Third Night: Discard Other People's Tasks
Deny the Desire for Recognition 111
Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others 116
How to Separate Tasks 122
Discard Other People's Tasks 126
How to Rid Yourself of Interpersonal Relationship Problems 129
Cut the Gordian Knot 133
Desire for Recognition Makes You Unfree 138
What Real Freedom Is 142
You Hold the Cards to Interpersonal Relationships 147
The Fourth Night: Where the Center of the World Is
Individual Psychology and Holism 157
The Goal of Interpersonal Relationships Is a Feeling of Community 161
Why Am I Only Interested In Myself? 165
You Are Not the Center of the World 168
Listen to the Voice of a Larger Community 172
Do Not Rebuke or Praise 178
The Encouragement Approach 183
How to Feel You Have Value 187
Exist in the Present 191
People Cannot Make Proper Use of Self 195
The Fifth Night: To Live in Earnest in the Here and Now
Excessive Self-Consciousness Stifles the Self 205
Not Self-Affirmation-Self-Acceptance 208
The Difference Between Trust and Confidence 212
The Essence of Work Is a Contribution to the Common Good 219
Young People Walk Ahead of Adults 223
Workaholism Is a Life-Lie 227
You Can Be Happy Now 232
Two Paths Traveled by Those Wanting to Be "Special Beings" 238
The Courage to Be Normal 242
Life Is a Series of Moments 245
Live Like You're Dancing 248
Shine a Light on the Here and Now 252
The Greatest Life-Lie 255
Give Meaning to Seemingly Meaningless Life 258
Afterword 265